You Want Me To Do What!? 9 Very Random, Rachet And Reckless Sex Positions You Should Pass On For Valentine’s Day

15 comments
February 13, 2013 ‐ By IndigoBlack
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Shutterstock

While Valentine’s Day is a great deal about showing love to your partner, getting flowers and candy, and all that sweet Hallmark jazz, just as you get candy for Halloween and gifts for Christmas, you get some sex for Valentine’s Day. Well, hopefully you will, if not, that’s cool too. But in your enthusiasm about the day of love, don’t find yourself in a position you’ll regret. Like being booty to booty with your man or falling on your head in an attempt to do a handstand to assume a sexual position. Sometimes it’s nice to keep it simple, and other times it’s nice to spice things up. But don’t jack things up (especially your body) when trying to show your wild side. So if your man wants you to try these nine moves (some have links to actual photos of the move), as they say in D.A.R.E., just say no.

*Be prepared for some really PG talk and references to the female and male anatomy, because WordPress doesn’t play that…

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Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Kiesha Pinky Makins

    OKKKKK WOW

  • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

    lmao!!! next time i need to see pictures because some of this stuff i can’t even imagine

  • queen

    omd. twisted doggy where the guy is twerking??? geez could the description be any worse?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003746465640 Tara Gray

    All of these are effing hilarious!!! I literally laughed out loud at my desk pretty hard!!!

  • http://twitter.com/RebelleGlamourx `$$$XO YourHighness,

    lmfaoooooo abe lincoln !! what? that is too funny

  • iHeartMarijuana

    What the hell. Most of these seem pointless. Like someone wrote a book on “How to Have Sex Wrong.” Although that Fandango thing doesn’t seem so bad. And the one where he was picking her up backwards didn’t seem bad either.

  • bigdawgman

    I think people who ain’t gettin’ none and watch too much pron all day long come up with some of these. That Abe and the dog???? Only people who have never had any would think this would be something to do.

  • bigdawgman

    Well that last one has my boys hurting for real. Thanks for ruining v-day for me $%^^&#$%%s!!

  • Nope

    Most of these require a certain level of physical fitness anyway. If you get winded by sex, then don’t even bother reading any of these.

  • IllyPhilly

    This is sh!t people just say. Wild raunchy sex for most is just more than one person with the lights on. Real freaks are not paying attention to this stupidity.

  • Kahekili

    Everything is ‘ratchet’ nowadays. I can’t wait until that word is no longer used in this manner.

  • Ms. Kameria

    What????

  • hollyw

    Omg all of these were HORRIBLE…way to pick out the most uncomfortable, twisted, and gross positions from the Kama Sutra Manual, MN lol!

  • hiswomanandlovingit

    Unless you gape the dog in a bathtub thing doesn’t even sound like it would be pleasant for either person. You know what, I have just thought waaaay too much into that. I am gonna go find some mind bleach.

  • ctp

    gross act.