Seriously, It’s Just Another Day: 14 Things To Stop Doing When You’re Single On Valentines Day
It’s here again! If you’re in a relationship, you read my tone as cheery and excited. And if you’re single, you heard it as sarcastic and forewarning. That’s right—Valentines Day is upon us. It’s a day that can be really beautiful, or, if you’re single and let it get the best of you, can get really ugly. Don’t let the latter happen, i.e., don’t do this!
Go on a first date
You want to think you’re above all the pressure that will be around on Valentines Day to be super intimate and romantic. You want to think you can enjoy a date, just like anyone else can on that day! But, no matter where you go, you will be bombarded with couple-oriented menus, nauseating cupid displays, rose salesmen on every corner, and every person on the restaurant staff asking you how long you’ve been together and how you met. Those are not normal circumstances under which to get to know a new potential partner.
Look up chastity belts online
Seriously. Someone will find that in your browser history. Like…a future boyfriend. (Plus, they’re way too expensive. Not that we checked or anything…)
Is it actually hurting you in some way that other people are happy and enjoying themselves on Valentines Day? If it is, then you have some insecurity and anger problems that need to be addressed. You shouldn’t be miserable over the joy of others, or hope for misery for others! If it doesn’t really bug you, but you just learned that criticizing Valentine’s Day is the “thing to do” when you’re single, stop it. It’s immature.
Go on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram
If you’re staying home so you can avoid seeing all the couples feeding each other and exchanging gifts, then going on Facebook—where they’ll be posting pictures of that—defeats the purpose. And you know on Instagram everything looks ten times more romantic.
Complain about being single
You’ve been single the last week leading up to Valentines Day, too. The truly great things about being in love—having someone who supports you, understands you, knows you—those things were missing, Valentines Day or no Valentines Day. Don’t pretend they’re any worse today than any other day.
Calling your ex
It’s Valentines Day, meaning the couples you do see out are the happy ones. So you’re going to be flooded with ideas of how good and easy love is. But just remember: there are plenty of couples at home, fighting and in misery. Just like you and your ex were — you know, the reason you broke up — that reason hasn’t changed. Love is not some perfect, overpowering force. Having feelings for someone won’t overcome real, tangible problems. Not even on Valentines Day.
All the other things on this list that you shouldn’t do—it’s four times more likely you’ll do them after four tequila shots. Plus, alcohol never eradicates and only enhances whatever emotion you’re feeling. So drinking when you’re lonely/depressed/angry is not a good idea on any day of the year.
Forget your other roles
All you’re thinking about on Valentines Day is what you’re not—not a lover, girlfriend, wife. Stop thinking about that and think about what you are! A great daughter/friend/sister/professional. It will make you not only feel better today, but also more hopeful about your love life prospects. You’re a catch! You just haven’t been caught yet.
Be by yourself
Any holiday is sad when you’re alone because you’re just thinking of all the fun being had that you’re not involved in—the good food, the champagne, the laughter. You don’t have to have a partner to enjoy those things today. Be with friends! Plus being alone can have the same effect as getting drunk: higher chances of you doing the other no-no’s on this list.
Watch a romantic comedy
Just…why? Why would you put yourself through that? Why? The story of a girl, downtrodden, struggling with love, living a life that looks quite similar to yours who then…finds love! You feel completely on board with the protagonist until suddenly she’s matched up, and you’re still alone on your couch when the movie is over. It will only aggravate you.
Buy yourself Valentines Day gifts
Then for weeks you’ll get the question, “Who bought you the heart shaped chocolates?” and you’ll have to answer, “I did…”
Sign onto your online dating account
The only people on there on Valentines Day are, well, desperate. And you’re one of them if you’re on there! And since you’re desperate, and they’re desperate, you’ll look better to one another, all under the light of Valentines Day loneliness. When, in fact, there could be no match there.
Have an anti-Valentines Day get together
Seriously, you and all your friends cackling, trying to pretend you’re having a better time than everyone else in the restaurant—you’re not fooling anyone. But you are annoying everyone.
Make large decisions
Don’t decide to get a tattoo, expensive gym membership or dye your hair on Valentines Day. You’re only acting out because you resent not being able to change your love life, so you want to change something else. Consider Valentines Day like anesthesia: do not make large decisions while under the influence of it.