10 Positive Statements That You Should Tell Your Spouse Often

November 10, 2010 ‐ By Anthony Jerrod

As previously discussed in “10 Taboo Statements You Should Never Tell Your Spouse,” communication is often the underlying reason why many marriages disintegrate.  Oftentimes, couples argue and verbally fight and say some of the most emotionally damaging and hurtful words to each other.  In lieu of engaging in such negative communication, it would prove extremely beneficial for married couples to continually speak positive, encouraging and empowering words.  This genuine communication is not only essential for a healthy marriage but also establishes a great example for children and those individuals in your surroundings.  Relationship experts and marriage counselors across the board can attest to the fact that healthy marriages require healthy language based in authentic love for each other.

The following list of positive statements is not an all-inclusive list, but these empowering phrases do represent some of the best that spouses can tell each other:

MadameNoire Video

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  • Audrey Yarper

    Love your site even though I’m not black. I don’t agree with the putting spouse first though. I think the best scenario is that they are equal. My Mom but my Dad first, which is why she stood by and said nothing when he abused me. Children are more vulnerable and needy then adults, they shouldn’t be spoiled and indulged, but their real needs have to come first.

  • Candace

    I could never respect a man enough to stay with him if he ever chose to place me before his kids. it shows me that he is less of a man and that he doesn't know how to prioritize. It should go 1. God 2. Kids 3. Me and vice versa. On occasion his mother can be placed higher than me if it is a matter of importance and not just something trivial where he is overly dependent on him.

    • Lorie

      I can understand your position, but one thing to think about. Your children will grow up and if you all did your job right, they will be leaving the nest. Your man will still be there when they are gone. Will you know him? Make sure to keep him a priority and work to keep your marriage vibrant so will still have a marriage after the kids “leave and cleave.”

  • MJ

    I am a married woman and my husband and I don't put either each other before "OUR" children. Your CHILDREN come first. My husband is self sufficient and can do for himself. My children can't. Therefore, your children are suppose to come first. MY children will always be number one in my life along there with GOD… Although my husband and my children are all on the same level. THAT statement should be re-arranged… that just sounds ignorant…

  • ImMe

    @ Mrs.Collins you are very right. That is something that my fiance and I argue about all the time. He puts our child in front of me. If he wants us to actually get married this is going to have to be fixed. I will not compete with my child.

  • Ann

    Great list…especially like the one about praying for the marriage.

  • IJS

    I REALLY enjoyed this post and I will keep these things in mind when I tie the knot.:-)

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  • prettyinpink

    Beautifully backwards: I noticed how you said you wouldn't ever put "a man before YOUR kids". This article is about marriages, not babymama situations. When you said" my kid" it implied that you aren't raising your kid with your spouse…or you would have said" our" kid. Maybe if some women were more nurturing and not so defensive and so ready to say" no", mote men would WANT to stick around.

  • Mrs. Collins

    Unfortunately ladies, YOUR HUSBAND is supposed to come first. Not your boyfriend or baby daddy. Its says so in the Bible,




    Its hard when you have babies, of course their needs have to come first, but when they are older he is most definitely supposed to take priority over them.

    • Ioki

      Nice to know you value your own children so little. Poor things if they exist.

  • JRock

    What about when the kids aren't yours and were there before he and I got together? Is it still ok for me to expect him to put me first. I've always encouraged his opinion (that the kids come first). I'm by no means selfish and love the kids as if they were my own, but my heart want him to feel that I come first. I don't know. I hope that it doesn't really matter.

  • beautifullybackwards

    I like all except the coming before our children i would NEVER put a man before my kids

  • imcafeaulait

    Yes, Madame Noire! I was beginning to lose hope for this site! This is what we young black folks need to hear! Ways to keep our families together. Other races have known these things forever, which is why they stay comin up…

    *side note: can't help but notice the lack of comments for this positive post. SMH

  • southerngal

    Well said TK73 and I agree with you!! Happy Veterans Day!!!!! Thank you to those who have served and continue to serve. God bless you and come home safe to your loved ones!!!!!

  • TK73

    Ernie, I don't think they meant it the way so many people take it to mean. In order to have a happier, healthier family and home life, you HAVE to nurture your marriage. If your marriage is healthy it flows into the whole of the family life. Also, if you are Christain (as I know many are not) the Word says that the two are to become one. So, if you are theoretically "one" you love that person as you do yourself. Therefore, more than others. If you don't love yourself, how can you effectively love anyone else? Just a thought from someone who has been there and learned to know and understand how a marriage works to be successful.

  • star

    this is good. I will take notes. its always good to show your love how much you love and appreciate him. if you don't do these I hope you realize this is something that has to be worked on for the success of the relationship

  • ernie

    You come before our children???? No. Highly disagree with that one.

  • Blkqwn7

    I am soo not doing well in this department if what is written is true I only scored on one. Oh well at least I passed all on what you should never say to your significant other!