What To Do (And Not Do) When You Feel Like Your Relationship Is Ending

February 8, 2013  |  
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Even the best of relationships can sometimes come to a quick end, and in most cases, a lot of us can sense it before it comes to a true close. All relationships have their ups and downs but lately you may be feeling that your relationship hasn’t had much positivity to it in a while. A relationship filled with too many downs and not enough ups may give you the sense that the end is near, but if you feel like your relationship is ending, there are plenty of ways to remedy and stop things from going downhill completely. Here are the dos and donts to hopefully patch up your relationship.

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Figure out what’s making you feel this way

Is it a lack of intimacy? Have you lost trust for him? Are things just not as good as they once were? Do you not feel as emotionally connected to him? Before you approach anyone, including your boyfriend, about the situation, you need to figure out what exactly is making you feel like the relationship isn’t going to last. That way you know what to say when you do decide to bring it up with him.

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Talk about it

One of the wisest things you can do when you feel like your relationship is ending is to talk about it with your man. See if he is on the same page and if he too feels like something is going wrong. Getting your emotions and thoughts out into the open will definitely bring more light to the situation. By talking about it, you may find an easy solution to turn things around.

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Consider what’s going on

Is your guy going through a tough time financially? Are you having a rough few weeks emotionally? Before completely accepting or internalizing the fact that your relationship is ending, take a step back and consider what’s going on. Outside stress and conflicts can easily make a relationship feel like it’s on the rocks, even when it really isn’t.

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Don’t go overboard emotionally

The thought of your relationship ending can definitely be heartbreaking and you’re bound to feel all sorts of emotions, sadness and anger included. But, before you know for sure that the relationship isn’t going to work out, try not to go to emotionally crazy. There’s no need to cry for three nights straight or get angry at everyone who crosses your line of sight.

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Get an outside opinion

Talking to your guy is vital, but it can also be helpful to talk to someone else about what’s going on between you two. Explain the situation to your best friend or a family member you’re close to and see what they think. Sometimes an outside opinion can make you see things from a totally different perspective.

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Don’t lash out

When you get that feeling that your relationship is ending, you may find that you’re angry and that you target that anger towards your boyfriend. This definitely isn’t a smart thing to do, especially if you want the relationship to still have a chance at working. Instead of blaming him, lashing out, and calling him every name in the book, stay calm, and talk.

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Remember the honeymoon phase does end

When a relationship is new, fresh, and still a bit of a mystery, you’re bound to be all lovey-dovey, touchy feely, and all that good stuff. However, those high school emotions and a lot of the excitement will eventually die down. If you feel like your relationship is ending, figure out if you’re feeling this way simply because the honeymoon phase is over.

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Decide if you’re willing to try

A relationship consists of two people so when it feels like everything is about to crash and burn, decide whether or not you’re willing to try and make the needed effort to fix things. If it’s a lack of trust on your end, you’ve got to be willing to work with him. On the other hand, if you know the damage is beyond repair, don’t drag him along with the idea that things will get better someday.

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Avoid looking for a temporary rebound

When things are going wrong in a relationship, a lot of people will seek emotions and physicality with someone else. At all costs you’ll want to avoid the dreaded emotional cheating, and you’ll also want to avoid a temporary rebound to make yourself feel better. This means no flirting with random guys at the bar or talking to an ex-boyfriend.

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Spend some time apart

Spend a day or two apart from each other because sometimes all you need is some time away. Spending time apart will give both of you the chance to clear your minds, regroup, and focus on the relationship. After this time apart you’ll either decide to work things out or that it’s just not worth it.

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Write him a letter

Sometimes it’s easier to pen what you’re feeling. Even though you can write an email or a long-drawn out text message, writing a letter can do a world of wonders. Let him know how you feel, what you’re thinking, and so on in your own words. Leave it on his nightstand and let him read it on his own time. This prevents creating a hostile and awkward environment.

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Don’t end it in the heat of the moment

You’ve had a bad day at work, your car is running funny, and you’ve thought about nothing but how your relationship is on the decline. Despite your feelings and the rough day, this is not the time to abruptly end your relationship. Rash decisions are often made in the heat of the moment and you may regret it once you cool down.

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Don’t hide it

If you feel like your relationship is ending, there is definitely not a feeling you want to hide from your guy. The day you feel that something isn’t right or is missing between you two, you need to speak out about it! Holding it in and hoping that things will change without bringing up how you feel won’t make you or your relationship any better.

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Prepare for the worst and hope for the best

Some relationships can be fixed and others can’t, but there’s no saying which category your relationship falls into. The best thing you can do is prepare yourself for a breakup, but try to keep your mind focused on the positive side of things. You may still be able to salvage the relationship, which is definitely a thought worth smiling for.

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  • Ms. Kameria

    I didn’t need to flip thru 15 points to know what to do when I feel a relationship is ending……I would simply end it. Why keep wasting time.

    MN, you’re welcome.

  • Ms. Kameria

    I didn’t need to flip thru 15 points to know what to do when I feel a relationship is ending……I would simply end it. Why keep wasting time.

    MN, you’re welcome.