Don’t Make Your First Encounter Your Last: Things Women Do On Dates That Men Can’t Stand
It doesn’t matter how great of a catch you are, there are some habits that make almost any man not want to ask a woman for that second date. The sad part is women do a lot of these things because they think it is what a man wants to see. So, which ones are you guilty of?
Pretending you never slept with anybody
When it comes to topics of sex, past hookups and experiences, women can tense up, as if some taboo topic has come up. Men know you’ve had sex! You’re a grown woman! It doesn’t make you promiscuous to reference your sexual history. It’s makes you, actually, more relatable.
Acting like a shy schoolgirl
We’re adults. Telling someone you think he’s cute doesn’t mean you want to marry him like it did on the kindergarten playground. Men can’t stand when a woman gives them a compliment, but becomes awkward, giggles and looks at her lap as if some big transformation has taken place within the two people, just because one gave the other a compliment. If you think a man has great eyes or a great sense of humor, just say it with confidence, look him in the eye, and move on.
Pretending to be a bad girl
Some girls take the opposite approach to the school girl one and want to seem “cool” by talking about how much they can drink, how much they don’t care if their date checks out another girl—in fact, how even they themselves think that girl is hot! Believe it or not, men want some boundaries. They don’t want to be with a woman who sets no standards for herself or the men she dates. And they can see right through it when you’re just pretending to be a bad girl.
Not contributing to the conversation
Yes, a man should make an effort to facilitate a stimulating conversation, but so should you! Too many women act entitled to being entertained by their date, sitting in silence as if it’s their date’s responsibility to charm them. Do your part! A man appreciates a woman who meets him half way.
Sort of grabbing your wallet
Either you’re offering to pay or you’re not. If you feel you deserve to be treated and don’t even flinch when the check arrives, your date will respect that. If you genuinely want to pay for yourself, your date will respect that. He won’t respect you if you half heartedly reach for your wallet and say, “We can…split it…?” more like a question than a statement.
Being too concerned about your looks
If you can’t relax, neither can your date. So he can’t fully engage in the conversation if he sees you tugging at your hair, re-touching your lipstick and adjusting your blouse the entire time. He knows you’re not engaged if you’re doing that.
Women complain that men are terrible listeners, but men have the same complaint about women! Admit it: men do very little of the talking. So when they do actually chime in, pay attention. If you ask questions that show you are really listening, your date will think he’s found a true gem.
Asking a question so you can talk
It’s so obvious when you bring up a topic, just because you have a lot you’d like to say about it. If you want to talk about something, just bring it up. Don’t pretend to want to hear your date’s thoughts on it if you’re just itching for your turn to talk.
Getting insecure when saying goodbye
When saying goodnight, and your date says, “I’ll talk to you soon” don’t do the, “Oh..ok..yeah…I guess I’ll…or you’ll…I guess we’ll just talk when…soon…” He said he’ll talk to you soon. He either means it or he doesn’t. That isn’t changed by your getting nervous about it. Accept what he says and wait for the call that will or won’t come.
“Am I over sharing?”
Women often share things about themselves and then regret it, asking, “Am I over sharing?” Don’t regret what you tell your date. Own it. He probably isn’t questioning if what you’re telling him is appropriate unless you question it.
Expecting the man to show all the interest
I often observe my friends with new men in their life—men who they tell me they really like—and I’m thinking, “Really???” Because I could not tell. And it’s likely the guy couldn’t either. Men like a chase, but they need some indication that you’re interested. When he hugs you, lean into it. When you sit at a table with a group, sit next to him. Keep him guessing a little but don’t keep him in the dark.
Getting all worked up about small problems
The table taking too long, your server getting your drink wrong—these are not things to get worked up over. Are you not still in a nice restaurant, with good company, enjoying a relaxing evening? A man wants to see that you recognize and appreciate that, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Because if you get worked up over something as small as a wrong drink order, how do you handle real problems?
Ignoring the staff
Men pay close attention to how their dates treat the wait staff at a restaurant. They can’t stand a woman who doesn’t say thank you, or does but never makes eye contact with the server, or treats the server like a nuisance simply for asking how everything tastes.
Talking yourself down
So what if your job isn’t the coolest job in the world? Or your apartment is the size of a shoebox? If you’re happy with it, that’s attractive. A man appreciates a woman who is doing the best she can, and proud of herself for that. But men can’t stand when women make apologies for their lives.