Don’t Make Your First Encounter Your Last: Things Women Do On Dates That Men Can’t Stand

February 7, 2013  |  
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It doesn’t matter how great of a catch you are, there are some habits that make almost any man not want to ask a woman for that second date. The sad part is women do a lot of these things because they think it is what a man wants to see. So, which ones are you guilty of?


Pretending you never slept with anybody

When it comes to topics of sex, past hookups and experiences, women can tense up, as if some taboo topic has come up. Men know you’ve had sex! You’re a grown woman! It doesn’t make you promiscuous to reference your sexual history. It’s makes you, actually, more relatable.



Acting like a shy schoolgirl

We’re adults. Telling someone you think he’s cute doesn’t mean you want to marry him like it did on the kindergarten playground. Men can’t stand when a woman gives them a compliment, but becomes awkward, giggles and looks at her lap as if some big transformation has taken place within the two people, just because one gave the other a compliment. If you think a man has great eyes or a great sense of humor, just say it with confidence, look him in the eye, and move on.



Pretending to be a bad girl

Some girls take the opposite approach to the school girl one and want to seem “cool” by talking about how much they can drink, how much they don’t care if their date checks out another girl—in fact, how even they themselves think that girl is hot! Believe it or not, men want some boundaries. They don’t want to be with a woman who sets no standards for herself or the men she dates. And they can see right through it when you’re just pretending to be a bad girl.


Not contributing to the conversation

Yes, a man should make an effort to facilitate a stimulating conversation, but so should you! Too many women act entitled to being entertained by their date, sitting in silence as if it’s their date’s responsibility to charm them. Do your part! A man appreciates a woman who meets him half way.


Sort of grabbing your wallet

Either you’re offering to pay or you’re not. If you feel you deserve to be treated and don’t even flinch when the check arrives, your date will respect that. If you genuinely want to pay for yourself, your date will respect that. He won’t respect you if you half heartedly reach for your wallet and say, “We can…split it…?” more like a question than a statement.

Being too concerned about your looks

If you can’t relax, neither can your date. So he can’t fully engage in the conversation if he sees you tugging at your hair, re-touching your lipstick and adjusting your blouse the entire time. He knows you’re not engaged if you’re doing that.



Women complain that men are terrible listeners, but men have the same complaint about women! Admit it: men do very little of the talking. So when they do actually chime in, pay attention. If you ask questions that show you are really listening, your date will think he’s found a true gem.


Asking a question so you can talk

It’s so obvious when you bring up a topic, just because you have a lot you’d like to say about it. If you want to talk about something, just bring it up. Don’t pretend to want to hear your date’s thoughts on it if you’re just itching for your turn to talk.


Getting insecure when saying goodbye

When saying goodnight, and your date says, “I’ll talk to you soon” don’t do the, “Oh..ok..yeah…I guess I’ll…or you’ll…I guess we’ll just talk when…soon…” He said he’ll talk to you soon. He either means it or he doesn’t. That isn’t changed by your getting nervous about it. Accept what he says and wait for the call that will or won’t come.


“Am I over sharing?”

Women often share things about themselves and then regret it, asking, “Am I over sharing?” Don’t regret what you tell your date. Own it. He probably isn’t questioning if what you’re telling him is appropriate unless you question it.

Expecting the man to show all the interest

I often observe my friends with new men in their life—men who they tell me they really like—and I’m thinking, “Really???” Because I could not tell. And it’s likely the guy couldn’t either. Men like a chase, but they need some indication that you’re interested. When he hugs you, lean into it. When you sit at a table with a group, sit next to him. Keep him guessing a little but don’t keep him in the dark.

Getting all worked up about small problems

The table taking too long, your server getting your drink wrong—these are not things to get worked up over. Are you not still in a nice restaurant, with good company, enjoying a relaxing evening? A man wants to see that you recognize and appreciate that, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Because if you get worked up over something as small as a wrong drink order, how do you handle real problems?


Ignoring the staff

Men pay close attention to how their dates treat the wait staff at a restaurant. They can’t stand a woman who doesn’t say thank you, or does but never makes eye contact with the server, or treats the server like a nuisance simply for asking how everything tastes.


 Talking yourself down

So what if your job isn’t the coolest job in the world? Or your apartment is the size of a shoebox? If you’re happy with it, that’s attractive. A man appreciates a woman who is doing the best she can, and proud of herself for that. But men can’t stand when women make apologies for their lives.

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  • Suburban Princess Dior

    um I read the first one I AM a 20 year virgin so not every women has had sex

  • Pfffft…don’t have to pretend you never slept with anyone…just tell them straight up, on the first date, it’s really none of their business…and if they can’t deal, THEY’RE not worth the trouble!

    • Eric Scott

      Real talk

  • AJ389

    I was a little frightful as I clicked through, but relieved to find I’m guilty of only one of these. (sort of ) At the end of a date, I have asked a guy, did he really have to go right then, but only because I really enjoyed his company. Being insecure had nothing at all to do with it. This was a great article, now all we have to do is let the guys know what completely turns us off. ; ) !

  • sabrina

    I do the half hearted wallet grab all the time. But some guys actually like when you offer to pay, but won’t actually let you do it….no?

    • genii love

      i totally agree! women started doing the half hearted wallet grab BECAUSE men said they were tired of us assuming that they would pay all the time.

      If I offer to pay my half of the meal, that is my way of telling you, “you have been FRIEND-ZONED”

      • sabrina

        “i totally agree! women started doing the half hearted wallet grab
        BECAUSE men said they were tired of us assuming that they would pay all
        the time.”


  • FunnyChick

    I am guilty of numbers 12, 13, &15… 15 of which most recently occurred… 8*(


    Why would a man be interested in a woman’s sexual history on a date?

    • Kim

      so he can smash, then pass. lol

    • 1Sonny2

      Agree…,that’s one I definitely disagree with in this article. It’s a turn off. Just doesn’t need to be discussed because once it is, it will only impact things negatively. It’s like someone offering you a Kleenix and then informing you it’s already been used. Some things are better left unsaid

    • Maybe he doesn’t want to be with a woman with low morals.

  • Stanley 001

    I really appreciate the fact the a woman (Julia Austin) wrote this piece. I have a question: How does a woman pretend she never slept with anybody on FIRST DATE?

    • They mean acting like you are innocent and ignorant of sex/sexual experiences. I would counter that that shouldn’t be coming up on a first date anyways.

      • Stanley 001

        That’s why I put first date in capital letters. It’s not good to talk about sex on a first date.

        • genii love

          some guys really like to push your buttons and see what they can get away with.
          so we play dumb!

        • Babydoll 70

          Exactly and there are men who will bring up this topic on a date like a clown.