‘If A Woman Tells You She’s 20 And Looks 16, She’s 12:’ Chris Rock’s Most Hilarious Quotes

February 7th, 2013 - By Iva Anthony

Happy birthday to Chris Rock who turns 48 today. In honor of one of the funniest, most thought-provoking comedians of our generation, we take a look back at some of Rock’s most memorable and hilarious quotes.

WENN.com

WENN.com

In 2005, Rock snagged the job as host of the Academy Awards ceremony. During the opening monologue and throughout the show, Rock poked fun at many of the famous movie stars that were in attendance and Nicole Kidman wasn’t safe from Rock’s wrath:

“The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they’re not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, ‘If you’d done that in the movie, you’d have won an Oscar, girl.’”

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Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • MNEditor2

    WordPress actually does that because it thinks it’s an obscene word, even with the captial D. And I’m sure it will censor your comment in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
    If not, count yourself lucky!

  • Bannef

    I knew a girl at a very prestigious university who worked part time as a stripper. Understandably it’s not something people share too often – students in the classroom don’t want to hear it, and men getting lap dances DEFINITELY don’t want to hear it.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XHDHOUFQDCIPTM5FDOSZFIKSX4 Al

    “The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they’re not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, ‘If you’d done that in the movie, you’d have won an Oscar, girl.’”

  • http://twitter.com/QueenieSilky 50ShadesOfKetchup

    Ahahahaaaaa…..!!!

  • TRUTH IS

    “…..See, the Black man’s gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to!” Goes for women also. I see this everyday; it can really make you feel like giving up in this life.

    • TRUTH IS

      Also can someone plz explain the package and colin part in this joke?
      “…..three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘package’, and ‘Colin.’ Need I say more?”

      • YouNeedAnEditor

        I don’t know why the writer of this piece wrote “package” instead of Mr. Cheney’s first name (that is who Chris Rock was referencing). Colin as in General Colin Powell– with an accent, his name is pronounced “colon.”

        • TRUTH IS

          Oh ok….thanks!

  • Na Na

    What is with all these pics of Chris and this afro?

    • MLS2698

      i guess it was his ” Good Hair ” phase.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/MTXU4ZSH6X6L7LGLY2B2REQNE4 Jackie Lorevil

    ” And the Indians ain’t yelling [anything] because they dead”

  • Clara

    LMFBO!! He has really valid points. I especially like the gun control and gay marriage ones :)