Don’t Listen To What Folks Say: 15 Reasons Why It’s Not ‘Unnatural’ To Not Want Kids

February 12, 2013 ‐ By Julia Austin


A married woman without kids is often referred to as a “childless mother.” Have you ever thought about that? Whether or not you were even trying to have kids, you are defined by your success at having them. And surely you’ve had those friends, nursing babies, tilting their heads and looking at you like some odd specimen asking, “Don’t you want kids?” In general, if you don’t want children, you’re treated like you’re defective or “unnatural.” But here’s why that is a mother load of—you know.

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  • notagoodtime

    I don’t have, want or plan on having children ever. IM 22 and I need to focus on developing my career and own happiness. Plus being that I suffer from bi polar disorder, I don’t feel itd be fair to a child to experience my emotional instability. So yeah no on my end, ever.

  • Cheryl

    Finally!! Can we please see more articles like this?

  • emb

    The author seemed to turn this into a “You don’t want kids until..” article. Some folks have enough sense about themselves to know that they NEVER EVER want to have children. There are many paths to happiness and child rearing is not on mine.

  • Ms. Kameria

    It’s not “unnatural” to not want kids. Not everyone wants to be breeders.

    • RJA

      One of them breeders is mad ctfuuuu

      • Ms. Kameria

        I see lol

  • Say What?

    Some people have always told me that I was selfish for deciding not to have children as I’d be a good parent and should pass along my genes and way of life. I think it’s selfish to have children just for the sake of “passing on your genes”. I have three nephews whom I adore, a younger brother I took care of since I was 13 and have been the bread winner and helped supported my older two sisters and mother for a few years the minute I was able to work. I’m DONE raising people!

  • MsTwix

    Is it selfish to simply admit that I like sleeping in on the weekends lol? I enjoy my friends’ kids, and I’m a godmother so that’s all the child rearing I need at this point in my life (I’m 33).

    • Nikki

      No, it’s not selfish. Because if you did have a child, people would be mad at you for sleeping in and not taking your child to ballet/karate on the weekends.

      • Right, you can never please people.

  • Sharon

    If a person does not or it not ready to have children, they are just not ready. You have to be emotional, financially stable and prefably with a husband who is in agreement of having children. Also, you have people who don’t want to go through the headache of trying to get the man to pay child support as well as take up time with children. The expense of taking care of a child is through the ceiling from the time you deliver them in the hospital up to 18+ years until they graduate from college.

  • Reese

    I don’t judge people for not wanting kids. Having kids is a lifelong commitment and your life will be never be the same again. This is a good and bad thing. But I know my daughter has added much more from my life than she has taken away. But people look at me like I’m crazy when I say I absolutely, positively do not want any more kids.

    • I have married and single friends who don’t have kids and don’t want any or aren’t quite ready for a family and I don’t judge them. I agree with them for wanting to be financially stable and educated so they can provide for themselves and if they decide to have kids in the future they will be able to care for them. I have been called selfish because I just have one child who is a nineteen year old “woman” now, I’m happily married and decided early on that one child is enough for me and I don’t regret it.

  • Its hard enough taking care of myself, I don’t have the finances, resources, energy, or discipline it takes to be an outstanding mother at this point. And, I’m okay with that.

  • RJA

    Yes! Thanks for this article! I don’t want no kids and people always say “oh, you’ll change your mind.” No, I won’t!! I decided I didn’t want kids when I was 10! That’s my longest commitment lol. I don’t have time for that

    • Cinnamon71

      We must be kindred spirits, RJA! I also knew early on in life that I didn’t want to be a mother as well. Becoming a parent is a life-changing commitment that isn’t for everyone and that is okay. There are too many children that are suffering from abuse, neglect, etc. because their parents made poor decisions/choices and they are being treated like pawns and accesories to make it even worse. I enjoy my freedom and if I want to be a “pseudo” mom for a little while, I have a ton of cousins to choose from.

      • RJA

        Amen sistah 🙂