Time To Self-Assess: Are You Acting Desperate In Dating?

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January 31, 2013 ‐ By
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From HelloBeautiful

If there is one thing I am an expert on it’s holding back emotional text messages. I use the  drop, stop and roll out method with my phone when I know I’m about to explode via text, maybe I’ll share it with you one day. Emotional text messages, calling a phone 5 times in a row with the last attempt going straight to voice mail and snooping are all a man’s worst nightmare. This is the ammo they use to deem a chick crazy, needy, clingy and one worth avoiding. I’ll never forget the time one of my exes called me a stalker. That’s a horrible title to give anyone, especially me since I’ve been stalked before to the point where I feared for my safety, one just does not throw that word around lightly.

Something obviously brought him to this point. I had been asking when we would next meet up (it had been awhile) and he was giving me the run around, “I’m busy.”

It came to the point where I had strategically planned when and how we could meet to work around his schedule.  I wanted to have breakfast with him after he finished his night-shift and offered to meet at the entrance of his workplace, that’s when he texted back:“stalking is not cute.”

It was a powerful blow to my ego, gut and it hurt badly. I wanted to text back a paragraph of hate, or just call until he picked up because I had to curse him out! It was at that moment I knew I had been moving from a low and desperate place. He wasn’t busy; he just did not want to make time for me.

Read the rest at HelloBeautiful

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  • yeppers

    I have always thought about that rule that a man should always like you MORE than you like them…In almost every case where I was the person who acted/ stated my interest first I got played like a deck of cards. Let a man be a man and show his interest and step to the plate in my opinion. Im not hard to approach or frownin my face up, So I feel as tho, a REAL MAN who knows how to express himself and his intent in a respectful manner will approach. With that said…I do not have time for
    1. Men who sit off and stare seductively (I DONT READ MINDS MFer)
    2. All touchy feely as friends to ilicit a response….yet wont say they LIKE YOU. (GTFOH)
    3. ACTIVELY pursue you, then when you talk back, ACT LIKE THEY DONT WANT TO BE BOTHERED. (You will get dismissed with the quickness, cus AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT)

    Other than those step like u got some COMMON SENSE (which aint too common) and Ill listen to your pitch. Good Day.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Men like women who are desirable to other men. That’s why being too eager and jumping all over him makes him think he’s the only man paying you any attention and that makes him reevaluate why he’s interested in you at all.

      I know it’s messed up but its the truth. My single girlfriend told me her dating life goes in swings of feast and famine. I keep trying to kick knowledge to her that ain’t nothing more attractive (in a man’s eyes) then a woman he thinks every man wants. But she ain’t tryna hear me though.

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    Its really simple, men want to know you are desirable to other men and that he’s the stud that you chose from your many suitors. So women coming off as thirsty and stalkerish sends up a red flag to him and he thinks, “well d*amn here I thought she was a cutie with a nice personality, why in the heck is she up on my nuts so hard? What’s wrong with her? Do other men not normally take interest in her? I need to reevaluate whether I wanna deal with her.”

    So fall back ladies, if you don’t have a life act like you got one.

    • Babydoll 70

      Then there are those rare breeds. I had one guy break things off with me cause he said I didn’t call enough..wth? I couldn’t win for losing.

      • NO MAM…

        Chile cheese….That man wanted to break things off. If a man want to talk to you and make things work with you. HE WILL CALL/ TEXT INCESSANTLY …HE WOULD HAVE MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO NOT SPEND TIME WITH HIM…I hope you really didnt believe what he told you. That wasnt even creative…lol A phone call should not be a deal breaker in a relationship when phones work BOTH WAYS. SMH….

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          That’s the truth! Unless she played it too cool and NEVER called or answered.

        • Stanley Dada

          How does somebody make it impossible for one to not spend time with you without being a stalker? It is not cute to encourage stalking of any form. Online or offline, it can still scare the heck out of people.

          The point of the article is to not acting desperate in dating. And there this: “I failed to realize that it is not cute to throw yourself at someone who hasn’t the desire to reciprocate back.” Do you actually think this only apply to women?

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        Yeah he wasn’t interested. Hate to break it to you but men don’t whine about women they are totally into not calling them enough. Why you may ask is because they are too busy blowing up your phone trying to call YOU.

    • Babydoll 70

      Then there are those rare breeds. I had one guy break things off with me cause he said I didn’t call enough..wth? I couldn’t win for losing.

No thanks