It Really Does Take Two: Signs You’re In A One-Sided Relationship

February 5, 2013 ‐ By Julia Austin


You can be in a one-sided relationship and not even know it because A) You want to see what you want to see and B) The guy you’re seeing puts in just enough effort to give you the hope he’ll commit, eventually. But here’s a truth about men: they’re either all in immediately, or they never really are. Here’s how to know if you’re the only one taking your relationship seriously.

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  • Tim

    The problem from my point of view with some of these is that some are accurate of me to her but also some are accurate of her to me.
    One example: He only wants to spend time at home being lazy, having sex and not going out etc. I am guilty of this, BUT thats because WE rarely have sex because she just drinks a bottle of red wine a night and falls asleep! These blogs are useful but each individual relationship is so specific I dont feel they help.

  • unanimous anonymous

    Thank you for opening my eyes. Something about this relationship has been irritating me for a long time but I could not figure out what it was. I stayed because I knew I could trust him and he is nice but there was something just not right. I know now and will leave him. It’s gone on for too long to do anything other than leave.
    It’s funny, because the last few days I have been thinking about how easy it would be to cheat on him since he just doesn’t seem to care about anything I do. Even though I was not going to do it, I thought about how easy it would be to get away with it and now I know why because he does not care about this relationship.

  • trev

    Lol every couple in the pictures is black

    • sara

      Ummm yeah, this website, though welcoming to all, is marketed to black women.

  • Ray C

    I completely agree with the one about big news for example. Sometimes it
    is just routine where over the years you’ve gotten used to sharing the
    news with certain people first. But he/she should be one of the first
    few people you tell.

    I like the articles here, but IMHO a lot of
    the ones on the “is he all in” type articles basically can be summed
    up as “if he’s really into you he’ll make you the #1 thing going on
    every second of every day, he’ll overlook any of your shortcomings, and he’ll appreciate all your likes, interests, and quirks because he just loves you so much. I think a lot of these tips are “maybes.” I think some of them contradict some of the articles about some of the things women do to put a man off like the “clingy” article. I also think some of these tips are expectations for men that society totally excepts if a woman doesn’t do the same.

  • Ray C

    I actually stumbled on her articles posted on another site that list a
    lot of “top reasons/signs” or “most in history type articles. I have to
    say that I usually agree with the articles, but the ones I usually find
    myself disagreeing with, as a guy, are the “he’s not into you, he won’t
    commit, he’s not ready, he’s not “all in” type articles. I think a lot
    of them are just how some guys are . For instance the never gives you
    compliments or never makes gestures are ones I know I’ve been guilty of
    even wit girls I really liked. Many of us are less emotional. And it’s
    just human nature for some men and women not to show the appreciation
    and attention for something after you get it as you did while you were
    chasing it. It’s just like a person who was never late and was the
    hardest worker in their first year in a new job or church. I’m probably guilty of the getting annoyed with discussions one also,
    but that’s just my personality. My best friend or my mother would
    probably annoy me with discussions of issues I thought we settled or
    where I thought an issue was being made of a non-issue.

  • Looove your articles/blogs, but I sure wish they were in a list format. My computer tends to freeze from clicking continually page after page.

  • Angel89

    This sounds more like :Signs he’s in 2 relationships lol…& really can’t offer you the time you deserve, want, or need…

  • Clara

    I have a guy who exhibits a majority of these signs but then tells me he wants me to be his gf/wife. Idk what to think or do. Should I let him go or give him a chance?

    • Wait, you’re not even his girlfirend? Let him go girl…….

      • Clara

        He always asks me if I’ll be his gf but I keep saying no because he exhibits all these signs.

        • Babydoll 70

          I would keep saying no. He’s not showing you how much he wants to be your man. Matter of fact, it doesn’t seem like he’s showing you anything other than he is a half a&& companion.

        • Guest

          It is not enough to just keep saying no if your actions say the opposite. You have not given details about your dynamics with him but if you always make yourself available to him in a certain way that contradicts your lack of interest, you might want to do something about that. Distance yourself.

    • Angel89

      I was dealing with a guy that did the same… always something off but always reassured me that I was the one that he wanted & blah blah blah..turns out he was cheating on me (shocker lol)… it’s all up to what your gut is telling you.. intuition rarely lies…..

    • Ms_Sunshine9898

      Girl let it go. I had the same thing. He only tells you that to ensure that you’ll stick around . . .

    • Babydoll 70

      Let him go. I agree with Ms Sunshine9898, he’s just trying to keep you around probably as a plan B if his plan A doesn’t work out.