Keep Your Head Up Girl! Tips For Handling Romantic Rejection

January 31, 2013  |  
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No matter how pretty, funny, or intelligent you may be, during the dating phase, you’re bound to have to face some sort of rejection. Sadly, not every guy you go on a date with is going to be a hit and in the end you’ll have to deal with the inevitably dreaded romantic rejection. Rejection isn’t an easy pill to swallow but it’s even tougher when it’s rejection from a guy. Here are 14 ways to handle and recover from rejection even when you’re feeling foolish and shattered.

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Let your emotions out

When a guy has rejected you, you’ll feel all sorts of emotions — anger, sadness, foolishness, and embarrassment. With all of these emotions filling your head and heart, you’ll want to let it out. Talk to your closest girls about how you’re feeling. Write it down in a journal. The most important thing is that you don’t internalize these feelings and keep them in.

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Shutterstock

Keep your expectations in check

In the ideal perfect world, no guy would ever reject you, right? Every smile you give would be returned and you’d have a number in no time. But, the dating scene has it’s harsh moments and you need to make sure that your expectations are realistic. Don’t expect every guy to want you. Go into the dating scene with the mindset that there will be bumps in the road, but rejection is temporary, and you can always go onto the next guy.

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Start thinking in percentages

No matter who you are or what you do, your life is based on percentages, and nothing is ever 100%. When you go shopping you have to try on a few different outfits before you find the one that fits you perfectly. The same goes for the dating world. Not everyone you meet or every guy you like is going to be the one. A little rejection may bring down your success percentage, but the more guys you date, the better your odds become.

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Don’t overreact

As cliche as the phrase may be, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and even though you may have been rejected by the hottest guy in the world, there is sure to be someone hotter. There’s no need to shut yourself off from the dating scene and you don’t need to think that no guy is right for you. Don’t over-hype the situation because in the end it isn’t worth it. There is a better fish out there for you.

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Shutterstock

Don’t start hating on yourself

Rejection can easily make you feel like less of a girl. You may start criticizing your looks, your weight, your height, and everything in between. You’ll start nitpicking at the small things and focusing on negative things that don’t even matter. Don’t let being rejected by a guy completely ruin your self-esteem and self-confidence. There’s nothing wrong with you, or him, it just wasn’t a relationship meant to be.

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Move onto the next guy, but not too quickly

If you get rejected by a guy, there is no need to slow down your dating game. At the same time, you don’t want to rush onto the next guy either or else you may find that you’re simply on the rebound to make yourself feel better. One guy rejecting you means nothing in the long run, so there is no need to avoid potential dating prospects despite the setback.

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Plan a day of relaxing and pampering

There’s no better way to get yourself out of a rut then by taking a whole day and planning it around you. Go in for a mani and pedi in the morning and afterwards put yourself in a local spa for a relaxing massage. Being able to relax and refresh your mind will allow a lot of the bad emotions that come along with rejection to go away quite easily. Who has time to think about that when you’re getting pampered and spoiled?

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Praise yourself for taking the chance

Asking a guy out, approaching him, and expressing your feelings to him are all big risks when it comes to the dating scene. Even though it didn’t turn out as you would have hoped, praise yourself for taking the risk at all. Not all women have the self-confidence, courage, and strength to do to what you’ve done. Realize the risk you’ve taken and take it in stride.

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Shutterstock

Remember not every guy is the same

Just because one guy rejected you doesn’t mean that every other guy you’re interested in will. Don’t get into the mindset that you’re destined for failure when it comes to men because they’re all the same. Fact is that every guy is different and there is bound to be one out there that is meant to be yours. This guy just wasn’t the one for you. The next time you become interested in someone, it could go the completely opposite way.

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Plan a girl’s night out

Aside from relaxing, a girl’s night out is another perfect way to keep your mind off of the guy who rejected you. Go to a bar or a club and dance and drink the night away. Don’t fall into the trap of isolating yourself. Get out there and have fun and who knows, you may come across a guy you hit it off with. But, the key idea here is to have a worry-free night.

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Don’t become desperate

After being rejected by a guy, you may feel the strong need to be accepted by someone else. Though this seems like a good idea, it really isn’t, and it may only make you fee even worse by the end of it all. A one night stand or anything similar to it may make you feel wanted in the moment, but afterwards, you’re nothing but another lay for him, and in the end you’re back to square one.

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Shutterstock

Move on from it

Dwelling on this guy and how he made you feel won’t allow you to heal or move on and find someone new. Instead of dwelling, wishing, and internalizing, just let it go. Easier said than done, but focus on thinking about more positive things instead of dwelling on the fact that you’ve been rejected. Pick yourself up and move onto something else.

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Shutterstock

Enjoy the single life

Even if you’re desperate for a relationship, there are plenty of good things that come with being single and not being attached to anyone. You can come and go as you please no mater the time of day or night. All 24 hours of the day can be completely devoted to yourself. You have no one to answer to and you can date around as much as you want. Instead of hating your relationship status, embrace it, and know that it will change when the time is right.

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Shutterstock

Keep things in perspective

Public rejection is the worst, but it does happen, and while your mind may automatically start thinking the worst, remember to keep things in perspective. At the end of the day, this is one man, and even if he rejected you at one of the most crowded malls in town, the fact is that your dating letdown isn’t going to make headline news. There isn’t going to be a viral Facebook post about it and you aren’t going to be featured on the New York Times front page. The fact is that your rejection is personal and at the end of the day, people are more worried about themselves than you.

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  • Cathy Drechsler

    Hi my name is Cathy I am a female (37 years old).i am currently in a relationship with a 37 male who works m-f lives with his parents .we live 10 minutes away from each  (no obligations other than himself) The longest relationship he has been in has only been 6 months.   He never calls but he suggests we have a night were we talk on the phone and I always call cause if it was our night to call and he did not hear from me he still would not call and it is late at night and he is always sleepy because he suggests it be at 9pm,  I always ask if it can be early but always says he has something to do, I do all the texting if I did not text we would not talk to each other until we see each other the next scheduled night.  He has our nights scheduled Thursday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday, as time has gone by I have wanted to see him more but he gets mad when I want to see him more,  he claims that he feels like I don’t think he does enough for me, and I never say anything like that because he gets defensive.  But he does get upset if you ask him to stay over on a night that we normally don’t see each other.  One incident I was going away for the weekend with my mom and sister and I asked my him if I could see him on when I got back, I wanted to see him on Tuesday night and he wanted to wait until the following Thursday night and he finally agreed to seeing me on Wednesday night but it was like pulling teeth to get him to agree to it.  I just thought he would have missed me but he definitely did not mind waiting until our scheduled night.  He did finally say he would try to stay an extra night once a month but it’s is when he can do it,  it’s all when it’s good for him,  on his terms.   When it comes to affection he lacks it big time!  I love to be affectionate, but he does not hold my hand if I want to hold his hand I have to grab it and one time we were out walking I held his arm and he said that I was wrinkling his shirt.   And in private I have iniate cuddles,  he will only on his terms but basically it is me who always wants to cuddle he is very very closed off emotionally. I ask all the questions about feelings and if we go to the movies we don’t hold hand or even watching TV, I get sometimes you don’t have to cuddle buy I love to cuddle or hold hands or have some kind of contact, it’s a must! I will admit I am not perfect at all I give him his space but I mean I thought a boyfriend would want to see there girlfriend a little more than he does, he has never said “I miss you or I love you”.  I think he has commitment issues, I have asked him twice if he would like to move in with me he always says relax,  breathe we are young but we are young but not like we are 30yrs old.   All these issues have been brought up in conversation more than once in the time we have been together currently we are together. If you could give me insight on him and I know you can’t anylaze him.   Thank you for your help. My email address is cathydrechsler@yahoo.com

  • Nope

    “Sadly, not every guy you go on a date with is going to be a hit…..”

    And YOU aren’t just always going to be a hit either. Women don’t have a monopoly on selecting potential mates.

  • I realize this has nothing to do with the article, and I recognize that Madame Noire will have to recycle some stock photos from time to time, but am I the only one who thinks Ol’ girl’s shoes in that photo are beyond ugly? Everytime I see them they be killing me softly. Did she just come inside from shoveling snow? Is there a flood she’s preparing for? I just can’t with them shoes.

    • lol..could be why she got rejected…