Isn’t That An Oxymoron? Porsha Stewart Says Never Let People Tell You Staying At Home Isn’t Work

39 comments
January 30, 2013 ‐ By
Source: Bravo

Source: Bravo

Before the stay-at-home mothers of the world jump on me, I’m by no means knocking women who have opted to make raising their children their full-time jobs while their husbands work. I am, however, just slightly confused how a woman like Porsha Stewart who is neither staying at home taking care of children or keeping house, can claim that what she’s doing is “real work.” I guess the slang PC thing to say here would be “get it how you live,” but I’m not sure I’m a real fan of how this woman is acting like her standard of living is something to applaud and be in awe of.

In her Bravo blog this week, Porsha complained about the shade being thrown on the show “at every turn,” then turns around and throws some of her own, writing:

“I am a real housewife and live an everyday lifestyle, so I’m not accustomed to women acting this way. It’s just starting to seem like there’s going to be some shade at every turn. I genuinely care for[Cynthia], and I just hope I’m wrong. But if not, I now have tough skin and can roll with the punches.”

Porsha was referring to hoping that she’s wrong about her conclusion that Cynthia is just as catty as the rest of the housewives based on her behavior when Porsha tried to give her some tips on the world of pageantry. That statement I could somewhat deal with, but it’s the pretentiousness in the next few lines that I’m so over:

“Well guys I need to go pick up my pooch from the groomer. Until next time!

“P.S. To all the women out there raising a family and taking care of your household, don’t let anyone tell you that your efforts and what you do does not have value or isn’t work! All the love, caring, prayers, and labor it takes to raise a family is a wonderful thing and a blessing to have. Be encouraged!”

Well thank you evangelist Stewart, but if you don’t currently have children, you don’t even clean and shape up your own dog, and I’m sure you have a maid or two cleaning that big ‘ol house, what work do you do pray tell? ‘Just askin.’

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  • kickash

    The thing with Porsha is that she seems like a nice person, but she tends to come off ignorant. I don’t think she means to….but yeah. It’s not really her fault it’s just what she knows. Just like the thing about having sets of twins because its more convenient for her body. Girl, maybe you just focus on having one for now.

  • Fancy

    People forget that if they could be a stay at home wife they would see that it’s not easy regardless of having kids or not. Most people who have dogs get them groomed n take them to the vet does that make them anymore or less productive? I think not. Stop hating on the girl. She takes care of her husband, the house weather it’s cleaning or hiring n overseeing the the help, she also manages her charities while shooting a reality show which is a job because she gets paid for it. There can be a lot said about someone but to throw shade because a wealth woman status as a housewife it just hating.

  • XenaWarrior

    Uh okay well yeah she does have a baby…. She said it during an interview

  • LoDWill

    So you mad because she’s a housewife on a show called real housewives?? Sound likes you need to remember why they started the show….. No one judges the other wives in the franchise for having maids and being housewives? So why put her down for living the life Bravo knows we all want to see. We don’t watch these shows to see women who live just like us. Living vicariously through people who live just like you is.,……… Pointless. And she does have a step son who lives with her full time….. She is a mother before even have kids…….

  • Nicolet75

    Wow writer, hate much? As a former stay at home mom to a school aged child, let me tell you it was hard work even though I was home alone. I only had a housekeeper one day a week and I did everything for my husband and son. My day started at 5:00 getting work shirts and ties coordinated and lab coats ironed. I made breakfast sandwiches for my guys and lunch for my son. Once they were out the door, beds had to be made and errands run- drycleaner, market, target, Home Depot, etc. around noon I had to plan for dinner(my ex ate NO leftovers). Son home at 300 so snacks and homework and how was your day. Fed him by 600 so he had time to play watch tv etc before bed. My husband got home around 1000 so I had to be up to greet him and make sure he ate before I finally got to bed it was around 1130 and I was right back at the next day! Trust, after divorce work is a cake walk!!

    • realadulttalk

      So you were a parent? Shall I give you a cookie??

      • Nicolet75

        Not asking for an award, IJS- managing a home is harder than managing employees but…. Both are equally valuable. So many other women not afforded the opportunity to stay home judge out of jealousy and/or envy. They have no idea just how difficult it can be.

  • cryssi

    Actually, she does have a kid.

    • realadulttalk

      Go on…

      • cryssi

        Well, because I don’t personally believe in step children I consider Kordells child as her child.

  • Meyaka

    She is right,but she married wealthy so if she doesn’t want to lift a single nail,she doesn’t have to.

  • bluekissess

    Who cares? Her husband doesn’t have a problem with it.

  • bluekissess

    Who cares? Her husband doesn’t have a problem with it.

  • SheBe

    The point of the article is not to validate or invalidate mothers who work inside or outside of the home. Both are personal choices based on what works for your family.

  • JaneDoe

    Valid point but all of what she said should be done as a wife and a woman of the house regardless if she is working or not.. People kill me with trying to be awarded with a pat on the back or compliments for things they should be already doing regardless..

    • realadulttalk

      YES! That’s like when a man says “I take care of my kids”

  • iluvm84

    I am a HARDWORKING WOMAN! There is nothing virtuous about a woman who does not COOK, CLEAN or MANAGE real Bills while trying to hold down a family, social life and or school! Sexing and looking cute runs out! Having professional skills never gets old and you can always find a job when all else fails! Having wisdom will help you overcome life adversities when they come! The only thing I admire about these women are the fact that they are brave enough to show the world how silly they are!!!

    • realadulttalk

      Idk if they’re brave or stupid. Well, Porsha I know is stupid…but the rest I’m not sure about.

  • Lana

    Ever since this season of RHOA started I felt that Porsha was a little high saddity but I will not question if what she does is work because some women have this mindset that that type of lifestyle is normal and that women who have to work really want to have their lifestyle. Personally i dont think this is anything for anyone to question this is a personal choice between man and wife should she throw it in peoples faces probably not but I wont argue her mindset cause shes not the only woman who thinks that way. I think it would be easy to let a man take care of everything financially but I would rather work, there are some men who will leave women high and dry and not bat an eyelash. I’ve seen it happen

  • hiswomanandlovingit

    Being a house wife is hard work. It was easier (at least in my opinion) to work out side of the home. When you are a house wife you have to make sure the house stays spotless, the kids (if any) are clean, fed, happy and educated, bills are paid on time, food is always ready and hot and your legs have to stay in a “V”. And there is never an excuse that you can give for all of these things not to happen because people assume that you do nothing all day but eat bonbons and scratch your butt. Shoot…just looking at all of this right now, I wanna go put in some applications for something.

    • SheBe

      *waves church fan* chu’ch and tabernacle it!

    • realadulttalk

      Uh–A) She has no kids. B) Many women manage to do all that and still work.

      • Ooh La La

        Thank you. The real issue is stay-at-home mothers/wives always seeking validation for what they do by trying to make it seem like they are working harder than the traditional working woman. Ummm, most women with full time jobs don’t have maids/nannies. They wear two hats, and trade one for the other as they come and go.

        • SheBe

          “The real issue is stay-at-home mothers/wives always seeking validation for what they do by trying to make it seem like they are working harder than the traditional working woman.” And vice versa.

        • hiswomanandlovingit

          I never once said that women who work outside of the house don’t have it hard as well. the problem is that if something is less than perfect women who work outside of the home are given a pass (a small one albeit). The problem is like I said women who stay home are thought to have it easy and they do nothing all day. Like they are taking an easy way out for not being a part of the work force. I have done both. I personally (like I said before) find working and raising my kids easier than staying home full time.

    • iluvm84

      I am married too and I DO NOT AND WILL NOT BE A HOUSEWIFE!!! My husband would expect dinner cooked everyday and the house spotless at all times! I love working its my 8 hours of freedom from mommy can I have a snack, momma what for dinner, Honey what time we??? Can I play my call of duty! I love being a wife and mother but its a lot work building your foundation and keeping it going.

    • Nikki

      Guess it depends on the age and number of kids. My sister stayed at home for a few months when my nephew was a little over 1 and she called me bored all the time because she wasn’t doing anything. She didn’t have to clean everyday. She cleaned like 3 times a week. The rest of the days, she was dying of boredom. You usually pay bills once a month, so she wasn’t doing that everyday. She said, keeping the house clean, tending to 1(healthy) kid, paying bills, cooking and being sexually available are not hard things to do. She said keeping busy is the only thing that is hard to do and she doesn’t understand why people think being a SAHM is hard work.

      • realadulttalk

        When I was a stay at home mom I was bored as well. I wonder what some of these women are talking about when they say how hard it is.

        • Nikki

          I figure that they may have a lot of kids or maybe a very demanding husband. I understand that it may be tiring to chase kids around all day. When I used to babysit twins, I was tired after 3 hours lol I think it’s harder dealing with them when you don’t have a schedule.

        • hiswomanandlovingit

          I have 4 kids. 12, 2.5 (two of them) and a 1 year old. It is hard on me at least the way I want things done. I clean every day. Because well, I have 4 kids and a husband. Children are messy. Perhaps when they are older I won’t have to clean so often (I do pray that I won’t) but for now it is a necessity. I would really like to get a lesson from you guys if you have figured out how to do it easier because I am always looking for short cuts that keep the integrity of what I do normally.

          • Jazzyma1999211@yahoo.com

            Same here hiswoman, I’m never idle. Matter of fact I’m writing this WHILE I FINALLY have my own lunch. We have 4 kids, the smaller ones are 3 and 6mos. I homeschool the 3 y/o and it is structured and planned out for each day. I’m up at 5a, my husband has to be to work at 6a. I clean more than once per day! I mean if you cook breakfast lunch and dinner – you can’t leave the dishes for the next meal. Along with my own bedroom and brushing up the whole house my deep cleaning involves: Mondays, it’s closets, also this is my 3 year old’s “library day” so we stay there for about 2 hours. Tuesdays bathrooms. Wednesdays laundry (start). Thursdays, finish laundry and mop whole house. Fridays big projects like fixing up furniture or painting, etc and this is our Field Trip day – so add in a hike or the Museum, fire dept, whatever. This doesn’t even account for taking kids to and fro school and any appts. or school assignments. I also teach 3 dance classes at an area Community Center AND work out at least 5 days a week. (I’m down 36 pounds since giving birth.) Anyway, I do this along with attending grad school in the evenings. Sheesh, sorry but please don’t say I do nothing just because I don’t clock in! *snaps fingers* Oh yeah, left out breastfeeding. LOL

            • realadulttalk

              You don’t really fit that description honey. You just said you work and go to school–a real stay at home mom does neither of those things.

              • jazzyma1999211@yahoo.com

                Real? wooow

          • realadulttalk

            Do you have a schedule? You also have a 12 yr old–do they have any responsibilities? Children are messy–but I found that when my daughter was small that the Barney clean up song was a gem. Like a robot, when I’d start singing that she’d stop what she was doing and start cleaning up. I also found that cleaning at night worked better than in the day–it’s senseless to clean when someone is walking behind you messing things up. Meal prepping is something I currently do–and it’s invaluable to make sure we have home cooked meals and not stuff like hot dogs and fish sticks. I cook the night before and when I get home it only requires a re-heating. Hopefully some of what worked for me will work for you.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_D2JU54QTMQJO2IGAMOE4HEE5KA Big BakedApple

      Let’s not get carried away here. These days women have machines and other devices in most homes that didn’t exist 50 years ago. Not to mention calling a doctor whenever a kid got sick wasn’t a luxury most people could afford. Amish women and poor women in less developed countries wouldn’t consider what most stay at home mothers in the US or developed countries do as :”work”.

  • pretty1908

    porscha just hush baby ! I see what you are saying and I somewhat agree, but have some children then you will have a lot more validity. Though work can get tough and annoying, I still like to say I have income and a life outside of my relationships.

  • kierah

    Her comment is valid. It just doesn’t apply to her.

    • Nikkita Michelle

      I hear ya. She’s probably not cleaning her own house. The real housewives franchise was initially based on women who were rich and had lavish lifestyles. I think the Atlanta housewives are the most popular franchise because they’re relatable and other than Kim and Sheree most of the women worked. Porsche doesn’t have to work because she married well. ALL OF US WOULD LIKE TO MARRY WELL. Women who work and who have worked hard to the point that they work because they enjoy it and not because they have to shouldn’t hate on a sister because she has a better circumstance.

  • Messenger

    Talk about shade…..This must be Kenya Moore writing this article…