I Always Wanted To Ask…What’s Up With The Hair?

January 29, 2013  |  
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Hair. It’s a four-letter word with so much “stuff” behind it you could barely scratch the surface in a two-hour documentary by the same name.

Or is it?

Just how deep is hair for Black women and who made it that way? Plus, do White women have some of the very same hangups we do when it comes to our manes? Check out this final episode of “I Always Wanted To Ask” as we peel back the layers on what hair means to women — Black and White alike.



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  • Marina Calis

    Since the days of slavery white women have judged us on our hair…get over it! They make me sick….if they think their hair puts them as advantage over black women they are wrong!~ They act as if our hair is a disease….but to me their hair is strange. They really need to get over the hair thing we still have them beat.

  • Jolene

    This ariticle is stupid. LOL

  • Janae(also)

    Such low self esteem….

  • Elaine

    1. The glaringly obvious question for me as a white woman is: How long do Black Ladies spend on their hair? I wonder, on average, how it compares to the time people spend on straight hair. How did the lady in the middle with the natural and the cool jewelry get her hair to look like that, how long did it take to get that look and how long does it last? Did she do it herself? Is doing hair a social thing for black women? How about salon culture? Talk about that.

  • Nicole

    It’s funny she says more complicated. If the world we know wasn’t so Eurocentric, then I believe all along we could have known how to manage our hair properly. But now, I think more women are learning to do so with more products and tools being utilized in the process. I know it’s been a big learning experience on my part.

  • krijandes

    Did these white women go to college? I mean, how old are they? I have never heard so many “likes” in a conversation.

  • Honestly

    I’ve actually had these discussions with my “white” friends. They are very interested in black culture so I don’t see where there is “validation”.

  • Rochelle

    I hate that white people are so clueless about black people in general… it’s sooooooooo annoying.

  • I think the thing I would have liked to see here, is the whole hair pulling and sex.

    I’ve heard black men talk about how it’s one thing they like about white women is you can pull their hair. I am not saying right or wrong. I know it’s wrong for me.
    Just one of those things I wonder about.
    Oh and if you are one of those people who have to make a comment about it’s a stupid thought to have, please keep it to yourself.

    • Lise

      Hi… One of those white women who care here (contrary to what the commenters above might think, there are likely more of us than they realize. I would normally not even say anything, but you seemed to genuinely want another perspective and getting another perspective is why I watch this video series to begin with so…). I know I’m only one opinion and there are as many preferences as there are people, but I’m not cool with having my hair pulled (and will say that). To each his/her own, but personally, I feel that action can be both painful and disrespectful. So while I’m sure there are some ladies out there who either like it or at least tolerate it, there are at least some of us white ladies who find it wrong for us too.

    • Estylo702

      I have heard this too. I think this one of the reasons some Black men don’t like their ladies wearing a head scarf to bed.

  • get real

    This is so pathetic. These white women are basically being interviewed by these black women. These white girls couldn’t care less about this stuff. This is for black women to get stupidity of their chests.

    • soozq

      Women of all types fix their hair. Women like to talk about their hairdos. Don’t see any problem with this video.

    • soozq

      Women of all types fix their hair. Women like to talk about their hairdos. Don’t see any problem with this video.

  • B

    Interesting discussion. The bottom line is if you take care of your hair, it will be healthy. If you don’t it won’t, relaxed or natural.

  • Obtuse

    MN, as much as I enjoy this site I have some issues with articles like these. I don’t understand why these I always wanted to know seem to be bordering on “I need/seek approval from white women.” Really?
    I need to ask or be asked by white women on things regarding all things black and white.

    Do we really care what they think? I don’t see why we should since they’ve never been black and never will be.

    In a previous article, MN you stated that this site is not run by white people.

    Sometimes I sit and question that because the articles that this site spews, I don’t know.

    • B

      What is upsetting you?! After watching it, I didn’t get the impression that anyone was seeking validation from anybody. They were simply having a discussion. People are too sensitive sometimes.

      • get real

        You know good and well that these white girls don’t give a dam about these sitdowns. This is for these black women to validation. Basically black women seeing what white women think about them. Look at how the black women are hanging on to every word these white chicks utter.

        • I’ve known one of “those white girls” since she was 16 years old, and I can tell you that she does care. I’m a white woman and I care, too. It’s about clearing up misconceptions, which are the things that keep women working against one another instead of supporting one another.

          • get real

            You may care but the average white woman don’t give a flip. I know these white chicks die laughing at these black women with their poor “what do you think of us” black girl stories. This is for these black women and black women only. Has nothing to do with “sisterhood”. Because “sisterhood” is the same lie white women told black women that got them to join the feminist movement.

            • sabrina

              Do you know any of “these white chicks” that “die laughing at these black women”? I swear there can be many seemingly “pro-black” people (for lack of a better word) that have a huge thing against white women/men, but their prejudices never even allowed them to experience an actual and genuine interaction with them. Most of what they say is based off of what they think, see, heard, or may have experienced with one or a few white people.

              I have interacted with white women all my life, whether at school or work, lived with them, talked with them, partied with them, and I can tell you for a fact that some of them really and truly do care and try to understand different cultures, including black culture. Not every white person holds ill-feelings towards blacks. Yes, there are some, but NOT all of them. Why can’t some people understand that?

              • get real

                There will always be black people like you. Always running to defend to white people when they aren’t even being attacked. And don’t come to me with this “all white people” nonsense. Of course no “all” of anything is bad. Black women stop trying to get validation from white women. And stop breaking your neck to defend them whenever they are called out.

                • jaylady

                  And there will always be black women like YOU…who are just hateful 🙂

            • When I have conversations like this, I never know how to respond to comments like, “”sisterhood” is the same lie white women told black women that got them to join the feminist movement” because A) I can’t relate to the concept of intentionally lying to people to manipulate, and B) I know that there is a very valid basis for some of the distrust. As a white person who very much cares about race relations, especially here in Memphis, it’s very frustrating to deal with the reality that there is still such a disconnect.

              • get real

                Christina, I’m not saying that you or some don’t care, I’m saying the majority doesn’t give a flip. But my point is that these sitdowns are really for black women to “get things off of their chests”. I’m in Memphis (born and raised) so it is refreshing to see a white woman here actually care about race relations. Do you live in Midtown? There’s a lot of diversity there and that’s why I ask.

        • Estylo702

          I don’t see what the issue is with this video. The fact of the matter is, in this country (by population), Black people are the minority and White people are the majority. We are going to encounter them more often then they are going to encounter us. Why not get a sample opinion of relevant topics from people we are going to deal with for the rest of our lives? It’s not seeking validation to ask questions, its gaining understanding. Basically,”I have no idea who you are and what your struggle is, so I’m asking.” It’s the same thing between men and women. My best friend is a man. Half of the time our conversations start with me asking, “so you’re a man right?” I’m nt trying to seek his approval, I just want to understand where he’s coming from.

    • get real

      In a previous article, MN you stated that this site is not run by white people.

      They may have white bosses or something. Either that or just a bunch of women that have that Sally Hemmings mentality. Charing Bell is a trip with article about Tariq Nasheed.