One Of The Boys Or THE Boy? How To Decide If He’s Really Boyfriend Material

January 28, 2013  |  
"Male and female friends pf"

While we all have girlfriends, it’s always nice to have a few guy friends in the loop who you can talk to and chill with. In many cases when you have guy friends, it’s likely that you’re bound to experience some sort of chemistry — it just happens! If you’re on the fence and completely unsure as to whether this guy is best as a friend or if he’d make a good boyfriend, here are some tips and advice to keep in mind. Don’t let the indecision ruin your relationship!

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Decide if the feelings are mutual

If you have feelings for one of your guy friends, it’s likely that you want to go to that next step with him. However, you’ll have to somehow, without making it awkward, find out if the emotions are mutual. Look for signs that he has feelings for you and if none are there, he may just be better off as a friend. The emotions have to be mutual from the start or else the relationship is doomed.

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What’s his status?

And no we don’t mean his Facebook status. Is he single? In a relationship? Interested in someone? Completely uninterested in dating at the time? His status will dictate whether or not he’d make a better boyfriend or friend. If he’s taken or uninterested, you may just want to call this one off and remain good friends.

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Consider his listening skills

A good friend will listen to what you say, but a really good guy friend who may deserve something more will not only listen, but he’ll internalize what you’re saying and provide you with feedback, advice, and opinion. You’ll want a boyfriend who listens and responds. So, if your guy friend is truly a listener, keep him in mind.

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Does he make you laugh?

Laughter is the best medicine and can make the worst day a lot better. A good boyfriend will make you laugh, even at the dumbest of jokes. If one of your guy friends makes you laugh ’til you cry, he may be worth your while.

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You think he’s hot but that’s not his only redeeming quality

Physical and sexual attraction is a common factor in friends becoming more than just friends, but it shouldn’t be the first or only redeeming factor he has. If you find your guy friend attractive, make sure the attraction goes a step further. You don’t just want him because of his body (or his smile and his eyes), he should also be smart and full of goals.

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How much do you talk to each other?

You text, email, and call each other every day to say hi or just to have a quick conversation. When constant communication is already part of your friendship, it makes having a relationship a lot easier. Communication is a big part of any relationship’s foundation. If you only talk sporadically, it’s a sign that there isn’t much there.

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You have a lot in common on a deep level

So a lot of your friends like to drink and party it up, but with this guy, there’s a lot more similarities between you. You both have similar future plans or you both love watching old ’80s and ’90s sitcoms. When you find that you have a lot of things in common, it’s a good sign.

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He’ll come to your rescue no matter what

Your car breaks down at 1AM in the morning, you’re super sick and need someone to help you out for a few hours, you just got into a heated argument with your best friend, who do you go to? Him. If you notice that this one guy friend would do anything for you, he could easily be the one.

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You kinda miss him when you don’t get to see each other

Even after seeing him all weekend long, you miss him that night when everything is over with. On days that you two can’t hang out, you find that you think about him and miss him, even if it’s only a little bit. When you start missing someone, and the feeling is mutual, there is definitely a lot of chemistry there.

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You trust him

Trust is key in friendships as well as in relationships. If you trust this friend and know that he’d never do anything to hurt you or go behind your back, he may be worth dating and making your own. You’ll want a guy who you can trust to take care of you and your heart.

 

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He fits your type

We all have a specific type of guy that we like to date and this one friend fits the mold perfectly, from physical features to his personality. There’s nothing you want to change about him. If this guy friend is everything you look for in a guy, there’s nothing to lose. Go for it!

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He keeps you on your toes

When you two are around each other, you notice that he keeps you on your toes. You’re interested and focused from the get-go. You’re always looking for ways to impress him and you’re anticipating what’s going to happen next.

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He expresses his feelings to you

Not many guys are good when it comes to outwardly expressing themselves, especially to a female. However, if you’ve found a guy that talks to you about his good days and bad days, he’s clearly extremely comfortable sharing his emotions with you. This is a huge sign of a good boyfriend in the making.

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The chemistry is undeniable

You’re always smiling and catching each others eyes when you’re out with friends, even when you really don’t mean to. Others think you’re a couple even when you’re not. When the chemistry is nothing short of obvious, this is a big green flag!

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  • FLA727

    This Article is a lie!!! Relationships are not real!

  • This article is reason #13232143324 on why I say straight women and men cannot be friends. Acquaintances maybe, friends hell no!

    • mac

      -signed, all women with no male friends.

      Just because you haven’t figured out how to maintain functional opposite sex friendships doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

      • I have male friends, they are family and gay. You are either the ugliest woman on the planet or lying to yourself if you think your male friends started out wanting to be your platonic friend. Give me a freakin break!

        • I don’t know if mac is ugly, but I agree with most of your statement. It could be an age thing not an ugly thing :/

          • lol. I was being dramatic for effect. I wasn’t tryna throw Mac’s looks under the bus. My point is 99.9999999 percent of your straight male “friends” got put into the friend bucket by you. If given a chance they would beat it like a drum.

        • mac

          And the story changes. So now only ugly women can have straight guy friends? lol

          • That was hyperbole or was that lost on you?

            • mac

              now would you also say two gay men cant be friends and two lesbians cant be friends? Curious