Before You Get Serious With That Brother, Make Sure You Know Who He Is After He’s Had A Couple Of Drinks

16 comments
January 23, 2013 ‐ By Marissa Ellis
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Although you may not be privy to everything about a man you’re dating before you fall in love, one thing you need to be sure of before you get ‘in too deep’ is his relationship with alcohol. Yup, make sure you know how he acts on a night out at the bar and after a couple of drinks. Besides observing his behavior on dates, how he interacts with friends, how he treats you, how often he calls his mama, you also need to know how he handles his liquor…because it may not be pretty.

I learned that early on in the dating game. On the first date with a guy I was crushing on in college, I got to see just how vulnerable he was when it came to alcohol. He couldn’t stop ordering rounds and I ended up having to be the one to take the wheel at the end of the night. It was a sorry sight to see his red shot eyes, being so oblivious to his own state. You see, he was/is one of those guys in complete denial about their drinking. He didn’t seem to think anything wrong happened on that date. He really had no idea that he had a drinking problem. I saw him many nights after that, because of mutual friends, acting in the same unattractive way, complete with red eyes and a disoriented nature. I’m a fan of manly men and a man who can’t handle his liquor is definitely not manly in my eyes.

I often feel sorry for the women that swoon over my seemingly together, handsome cousin. He’s a Monet for sure. On the surface, he’s handsome, outgoing and holds down a good job, but anyone who has crossed paths with him on a Saturday night out knows that he’s not a great catch at all. It’s sad really. He’s one of those aggressive drunks. He always drinks too much at each and every event. And his drinking manifests itself in the form of anger. I really can’t say whether or not his aggression is related to deep-seated pain but what I do know is that alcohol brings out the worst in him.

We all know that some people are happy drunks, some people are sad drunks, some people are touchy-feely drunks, and some people are angry drunks. Me, I want the guy who doesn’t fall into any of these categories; I need someone who controls his drinking to the point where he rarely gets drunk. Obviously, one’s relationship to alcohol can indicate a lot about his level of self-control. And if you’re dating to vet whether someone will make a good life partner and head of household, control is key.

Have you ever been turned off by a guy after you’ve seen him under the influence? 

 

 

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  • Faith

    Yes. I have. When I used to go to the nightclubs. The guys would step to me smelling like a liquor factory and had the nerve to ask me to dance with him. I don’t even like guys that drinks, even social drinkers, I don’t like. When people gets alcohol in their system, they start telling all their business and it can be quite embarrassing and sometimes funny and sad. I had people even try to hook me up with guys with drinking problem and think I can change them. The individual themselves can only make that decision to stop drinking.

    • Babydoll 70

      And I bet when he talked he spit while doing so. uuugh. Some people don’t realize how foolish they look and act while drunk.

  • Cinnamon71

    Been there and done that living with an alcoholic years ago. That’s why it is an instant dealbreaker for me when dating, today. I rarely drink and prefer to be with someone who does the same. My ex had to have something to drink everyday and when my stuff started turning up missing so he could get his “daily drinking” on, he had to go. Never again.

  • toussuite

    I actually really agree with this post! Been there done that, it was not a pretty sight. Won’t let that happen again!

  • Sense

    Yea, I don’t like drunk people at all…..well no, the hapy drunks, ok….the laid back/cool drunks, love em…..but sloppy, tumbling, loud, words slurring…….gets on my last nerve! Nobody should drink to that point. You could hurt yourself, for women its not classy, or someone could take advantage of yo. Its a turn off for me if its a key part of a man’s life. That means he may have ” issues “……and I’m no therapist and I hate the aggressive drunks. Aggression is not cute.

    • Sense

      meant ” happy drunks……..sloppy, stumbling……take advantage of u “

  • adiatc

    Great article. The same should go for women.

  • Miss K

    I like a man who doesn’t drink at all. It’s surprising how few people DON’T consume alcohol. EVERYONE says they only drink “socially.”

    • THE RAVENS WILL WIN THE SB!

      Same here.

    • Babydoll 70

      Not everyone, I don’t drink at all, not even socially.

  • Just Peachy!

    Alcohol addiction is no joke, especially when they are in denial, functioning fairly ok and have not hit rock bottom yet.The side effects from abusing it can change a person as well.

  • Nikki

    I agree with this. Mine doesn’t drink, so if he ever starts to drink one day, I don’t know what type of drunk he’ll be. Hopefully, he’ll be a quiet one lol

  • Nikki

    I agree with this. Mine doesn’t drink, so if he ever starts to drink one day, I don’t know what type of drunk he’ll be. Hopefully, he’ll be a quiet one lol

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    Alcohol amplifies and displays who you really are with out the inhibitions sobriety usually gives you. If someone is violent while drunk that’s a good indicator they have anger problems normally. If someone is turns into a sarcastic azzhole you can pretty much assume that they are usually passive aggressive normally. Alcohol will tell the truth about a person so pay attention.

  • realadulttalk

    This is very true–many people become a completely different person after too many drinks. You actually got lucky that he just got super sloppy drunk–it’s those violent drunks that are truly frightening.

  • SheBe

    What’s the saying; “A drunk man tells a sober truth.”?