Although you may not be privy to everything about a man you’re dating before you fall in love, one thing you need to be sure of before you get ‘in too deep’ is his relationship with alcohol. Yup, make sure you know how he acts on a night out at the bar and after a couple of drinks. Besides observing his behavior on dates, how he interacts with friends, how he treats you, how often he calls his mama, you also need to know how he handles his liquor…because it may not be pretty.
I learned that early on in the dating game. On the first date with a guy I was crushing on in college, I got to see just how vulnerable he was when it came to alcohol. He couldn’t stop ordering rounds and I ended up having to be the one to take the wheel at the end of the night. It was a sorry sight to see his red shot eyes, being so oblivious to his own state. You see, he was/is one of those guys in complete denial about their drinking. He didn’t seem to think anything wrong happened on that date. He really had no idea that he had a drinking problem. I saw him many nights after that, because of mutual friends, acting in the same unattractive way, complete with red eyes and a disoriented nature. I’m a fan of manly men and a man who can’t handle his liquor is definitely not manly in my eyes.
I often feel sorry for the women that swoon over my seemingly together, handsome cousin. He’s a Monet for sure. On the surface, he’s handsome, outgoing and holds down a good job, but anyone who has crossed paths with him on a Saturday night out knows that he’s not a great catch at all. It’s sad really. He’s one of those aggressive drunks. He always drinks too much at each and every event. And his drinking manifests itself in the form of anger. I really can’t say whether or not his aggression is related to deep-seated pain but what I do know is that alcohol brings out the worst in him.
We all know that some people are happy drunks, some people are sad drunks, some people are touchy-feely drunks, and some people are angry drunks. Me, I want the guy who doesn’t fall into any of these categories; I need someone who controls his drinking to the point where he rarely gets drunk. Obviously, one’s relationship to alcohol can indicate a lot about his level of self-control. And if you’re dating to vet whether someone will make a good life partner and head of household, control is key.
Have you ever been turned off by a guy after you’ve seen him under the influence?