People love to tell you that women cannot stop running their mouths. And I’m not really here to argue that women don’t generally talk more than men. What I am arguing though, is that every once in a while, you’ll stumble across a man who does a whole lot of chatting, often to his own detriment. I ran into someone like this, this past week when I went to get my hair done. My hairdresser just so happened to be a male this time and homeboy said more than he should have. Without any prompting from me, this 45 year old man started talking about his career goals. His long term goals were to be an architect; but in the interim, he was going to stack money by doing hair at the shop and in his house… well, not exactly his house, it was his friend’s. He made sure that I knew it was a female friend. (As if that made the situation any better.) This friend of his not only opened up her home to him as a residence, she told him that he could make a little money on the side by doing hair there. She even offered to install a washing bowl in her home. He declined. That was a bit much. Well, that seemed like a lot of support to me. So I said, “That was nice of your friend.” That’s when he told the truth about his “friendship.”
“Well, if she were here, I’d have to call her my girlfriend.”
“So is she your girlfriend or not?”
“Well, you know…we…you know we…yeah she’s my girlfriend.”
At this point, I had officially written him off as a shady character; but just because I was done with him, didn’t mean he was done talking. A few minutes later, he was telling me about a woman he knew who recently published a book. After promoting her book, he said, “I could call her my girlfriend too. We…you know, we…”
Ugh. So done with you sir. At this point I was silently praying that all shady, no good, low down dirty vibes would not be transmitted into my hair.
Not only was he talking too much in general, the gall of him to be speaking about his triflin’ ways in front of another woman was… not very smart. It wasn’t smart for him speaking like that in front of me and it wasn’t smart discussing the intimate details of his personal life with a client. Here is this woman going out of her way to support his dreams and he couldn’t be honest about how he saw her in their relationship. Do you think if she knew homeboy was calling her a friend in the street, she’d even think about offering to install a whole sink in her home, let alone allow him to stay in her house? Probably not. I’d bet she’s thinking she is doing all of this for her man, not her friend. Just be honest. But then he might run the risk of being homeless out here…and it’s wintertime.
For me, it just served as another warning that these men out here, even if they’re in their 40’s, can be scandalous. I suggest you heed the warning as well. You can’t always know how your man is describing your relationship when you’re not around; liars will be liars. But until you’re absolutely sure that you both agree on the nature of your relationship, don’t inconvenience yourself or allow yourself to be used by a man who’s just a friend.