Have You Given Up On True Love Or What? 14 Signs You’re Settling

16 comments
January 22, 2013 ‐ By Ashley Page
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The fear of being alone, rushing into a relationship, and low self-esteem can all lead to settling. For some women, having a guy that is second best is better than having no guy at all. But, if you’re lowering your standards just to not be single or to boost your ego, now’s the time to let it go. Here are 14 signs you’re settling just because.

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  • Brian

    I’m thinking more people need to learn the difference between compromise and settling.

    I was reading several books that have helped steer me towards knowing exactly what you are looking for.

    1. Marry Him the Case for settling for Mr. Good Enough (Highly Recommend it) this will stop a lot of the second guessing I see on here.

    2. Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe
    3. 5 love languages…SINGLES edition

    Too many people fall into the trap of thinking a relationship is easy. If that were the case…we’d all be in one and wouldn’t be searching for answer’s. I speak with a lot of married couples, the number one thing they all say is “WE HAD TO LEARN EACH OTHER AND COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY. IT ISN’T EASY AS PEOPLE MAKE IT OUT TO BE”

    • pretty1908

      I read waiting and dating , and it changed how i looked a men and myself. I also believe that person’s relationship with God is key to navigating and having better relationships with everyone else. I feel a lot of women and men are being forced to into marriages and relatiobnships because everyone around has said its time ,but only God knows the time. That is why I pray and I ask God to led me and my potential mates in the right direction.

      • Nene

        Agreed.

  • http://blackonpurpose.blogspot.com/ gryph

    was that a white guy? oh. never mind. long live the swirl!

  • Jud Jud

    Yeah its never good to settle….I just realized today that its good if an ex doesn’t try to come back into your life….it means you have grown up and ready to find something real. Its actually a good thing if he doesn’t try to contact you again….yay to potentially finding true love :)

    • E McArthur

      it hurts at first but sometimes its more of a blessing…dating in the later 20s is better than the early 20s too cuz the more men have actual careers…nothing wrong with holding out

  • Lb

    Thanks so much for the article Im going through this right now… But I was trying so hard to make it work because of our child. But you seriously cannot force love

  • RealAdult

    I don’t believe that relationships can be “effortless” all the time. Two people are attempting to build and maintain something here. Of course it will take effort to make sure the needs of both are met.

    • Lb

      I think they mean the love shouldn’t feel forced

      • Brian

        how can you force something when you don’t try?

        • Nene

          Sounds a little stalkerish to me,

      • Nene

        Agreed.

  • York

    Oooo gurl, #9 is critical!! I had an ex come back around and things were cool until every small disagreement led to the same “I’m almost 30/I’m trying to find someone to settle down with” speech. I realized he only dusted my number off and hit me up because he hears his clock ticking, and not necessarily because I’m the “one”! And maybe I am, but his thirst is screaming in my ear and throwing me off!

  • http://www.conventionalculture.com/ ConventionalDee

    As I said on my FB page, this list perfectly describes my 1st marriage. Except you missed the “Ignoring red flags that he might be a little cray-cray”. Otherwise it’s a great list. So glad I figured it out and finally got the love I deserve!

  • Na Na

    Good List!

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