Facing The Truth: Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused By Your Man

February 1, 2013  |  
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Even though emotional abuse doesn’t leave physical marks, it is said to be the hardest type of abuse to understand and escape. Emotional abuse can occur in the many relationships and for those impacted, stick and stones may break their bones, but words will never hurt them. Here are 15 signs that your relationship is emotionally abusive.


He puts you down.

Us women love compliments, that’s a fact. If your guy talks down to you and makes you feel like less than who you really are, it’s time to reconsider. No man is worth losing your self-esteem or self-confidence over.


You’ve become isolated.

If you were once a social butterfly and are now isolated from your friends and family because of your boyfriend, it’s time to rethink your relationship. No one should try to isolate you from the people and family you love most. Don’t continue to let him ruin your social life.


He treats you badly.

Your guy is supposed to cherish you, especially if he really cares and has true emotions for you. Does your guy put you down, laugh at your accomplishments, or mock you? These are all signs that he does not care much about you or the relationship.


Yelling matches are common.

Arguing in a relationship is plenty normal and it’s actually seen as being healthy. But when arguing turns into heated screaming matches, there’s a big red flag. Arguing should not result in things being broken, walls being punched, or anything else destructive.


You’re afraid to make him angry.

No one wants to upset their partner but when it comes to the point that you’re afraid to make your guy angry, emotional abuse could be the issue. If you fear that he will become extremely angry and aggressive and that it could turn into something more, the relationship isn’t worth while anymore! Run, not walk away from it.


He treats you like an object.

You’re a human, a strong woman at that, and you deserve to be treated like a queen. An emotional abuser will put you in a position where you feel more like an object, or property, rather than his girlfriend. This isn’t healthy for you or the relationship.


He ignores your feelings.

If you’ve had a bad day at work or if something went wrong with your car, you’re likely to want to tell your guy, just to get it off your chest. An emotional abuser will laugh it off, say nothing, or completely ignore it. Don’t let this fly because your feelings do matter.


You’re constantly walking on egg shells.

You can never be too careful with an emotional abuser and you know that one wrong step, you’re in for pure hell. There’s nothing worse than having to walk on egg shells 24/7 so that you don’t upset your guy. Every move and every word you say is fragile and that makes life way too stressful.


He’s two-faced.

Emotional abusers are often nice people outside of their relationship. They put on their best face for their friends and family members. But, when it’s just you and him, he’s a completely different guy. Don’t let his good side fool you.



The littlest things set him off.

We all make mistakes, right? When a guy gets angry about small things, such as you being home a minute late, towels being folded wrong, or dinner not being what he expected, it’s more than just a short temper. Don’t deal with it any longer.


He’s very jealous.

Have you noticed that your guy is extremely jealous? Does he hate that you spend time with other people, even if it’s just family members? Does he have a GPS on you 24/7? Do you get a guilt trip over small things? All signs of an emotional abuser.


Knocks you down when you’re already down.

Emotional abusers somehow get gratification out of knocking people down more, even when they’ve already had it rough. If you’re down in the dumps, you want nothing more to be cheered and lifted up. If your guy does just the opposite and instead makes you feel even worse, know that it doesn’t have to be that way.


You defend his behavior.

When a friend or family member tries to point out your man’s behavior, you immediately run to the defense. You make excuses for all of the things he does, no matter how bad they are. You completely ignore what other people see.


You’ve started to blame yourself.

Emotional abuse takes its toll on you, and as time passes, you can start to truly believe that you’re the one with the issue. Emotional abusers like to pass the blame onto anyone but themselves. The more you accept it, the more likely it is that you’ll start to think that it’s all your fault.


You feel trapped.

In a relationship it’s not a bad thing to share details, such as where you’re going or what time you’ll be home. When it comes to the point that you feel trapped and your guy feels the need to know where you are every minute of the day, there’s a problem.

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  • lala x

    he failed that test. i ran. now im all alone
    and he failed that test ..but does it matter b/c he didnt really want me anyway n im all alone

  • RenJennM

    This was me last year. Pretty much all of it. He was belittling, condescending, smug, vile, argumentative, and could care less about how I was feeling or what I was going through. He once said to me: “My words will make you stronger. Ask my friend: she used to think I was really f***ed up, but now she’s used to it”. Had he been just my “friend”, maybe I would’ve gotten used to it. In fact, my friends and I often take verbal jabs at each other… all in jest, of course. But he was the guy I was in love with. When you’re in love with someone, you’re vulnerable to them, so their words and opinions of you cut deeper.

  • York

    Even though this article said the same thing using different wording in a few slides, it’s all true. I’ve been there, done that, and don’t plan on repeating the experience!

    I want to add that you should also pay attention to men who always want to tag along with you wherever you go, or want overly detailed explanations as to your whereabouts or plans for the day. It’s a form of control and really unnecessary if the relationship is healthy.

    • Babydoll 70

      I’ve been in my share of controlling relationships but I have a friend whose guy would call her and ask where she was and she told him she was in her car driving to work, well he asked her to honk her horn and to turn the radio up to prove she was in the car. No lie.

  • Gaylyn

    My mother is in an emotionally abusive relationship with my stepfather. It’s hard to sit back and watch her endure and not stand up for herself (she comes from an abusive background where her self esteem is broken amongst other things, but that’s another story for another day). I’ve watched him call her out of her name, scream at her and other things. During college it was the worst where she and I got into it because I stood my ground with him. Every time I did that or said anything about him buying me a car or the fact that she and him have set me up financially in case anything happens to her. No amount justifies any type of abuse. Things got so bad that I moved out to save my sanity. Now I’m back since by oldest brother died and I help her out with my younger brother (whose mentally challenged). She doesn’t know that the situation has had me in and out of therapy for years. Now to cope so that I don’t lose myself, I’ve turned back to God and seeking spiritual counseling. Even though I’m back at home due to my financial situation, I feel like God (through my spiritual counselor) has informed me that it’s time to put myself first and I’m going to have to separate myself from a dysfunctional family. She told that if my mother feels like having a huge house to leave to me in my will is more important than have a sense of self esteem through God than that’s her issue and at my age, I have to start putting myself first.

  • Plumbline

    If they say they love you, judge them by this measure. God has called us to freedom, not to be selfish, but free to love……..Get out of an abusive relationship especially if your not married yet……and be strong enough not to go back. Ask Jesus for protection, strength, and wisdom…..

    ……..1 Corinthians 13:4-7………..

    4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things………..

    ……Romans 13:10……..Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

    • Dolo

      I agree with you about judging your significant other by their measure.. I was in a emotionally abusive situation for a while but just removed myself from the situation.
      He asked me to marry him after 3 yrs and after looking back at those 3 yrs I asked him one question: what have you done for me in the the three yrs of this relationship to make me want to say yes to your proposal. Granted it wasn’t all bad but some some things hold more weight than others. He had nothing so with nothing said I knew enough was enough. When a man call himself being in love with you there should always be a level of respect for the other person that will make them want to treat that person like they mean something to them.

      • Plumbline

        Absolutley Dolo……You made the right choice, and gained insight and perspective from it. Sadly, many don’t. We need discernment more than ever in relationships these days…..God Bless…..

        ….Philippians 1:9…..
        And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment……