What’s A Relationship Deal Breaker For You? 9 Men To Give A Chance Or Give The Boot

January 17, 2013  |  

couple at dinner, shutterstock pf

Every woman is very different when it comes to what they can and can’t do when it comes to men and relationships. What is one woman’s trash can be another woman’s treasure and knight in shining armor. And after having many an interesting conversation on social media about what’s a no-no and what can be overlooked in a man, I thought it would be interesting to once again post some different kind of men and different type of situations so that you can figure out what you want…cause you don’t know what you want girl (kidding!). And who knows? In the future, the right guy might come around and change your mind. But until then, let’s chat girl!

black men with no money

Man struggling in the economy…aka, Jobless

There’s a difference between a man who has no interest in working, paying his own way and taking on adult responsibilities, and a man who has just found himself unlucky in a struggling economy. While some people have had the blessing to find steady employment in the recession, other people have lost positions they might have had for years, or struggled to even find a position to work and grow in. I can remember a few years ago, straight out of college and working my first full-time gig, a friend and I were talking about what things we like in a man. When I told her he NEEDED to have a job, she didn’t think it was very important at that time, and told me I should be more understanding since times were hard. I can’t say that my opinion has bent when it comes to whether or not I’ll accept an unemployed man with open arms, but I might not be so quick to dismiss him if he’s got many other great qualities going for him. But what about you?

Shutterstock

A bisexual man

So you meet a guy and he’s handsome, funny, smart, and has a bright future ahead of him. You’re vibing while conversing on a variety of deep topics, including going in depth about your personal life and work, and you think things are off on the right track. So how would you react if he told you he was both attracted to women and men? Would it be too much for you? For example, I used to claim Frank Ocean as one of my many play husbands, because not only could he sing and write about things in ways that hadn’t been done in a long time, but he’s tooooo cute. But since he’s revealed his bisexuality, while I’m still a fan, that uber-crush has worn off. Personally, the pressure of having to compete with thirsty chicks is already enough for me, but if I have to worry about a guy I’m interested in also possibly flirting away with men too, that might just be too much for one lady to take. But to each their own, right?

man in jail PF

Man with a criminal past

So he’s got himself in a little trouble in the past, maybe even done a little time, paid his debt to society and is trying to move forward. Could a man with a criminal past move forward with you? Some might say it depends on the crime committed. Even Southern belle Phaedra Parks met a man who couldn’t stay out of trouble for a while, and had to do time twice for everything from theft by receiving stolen goods, and racketeering–white collar crimes. When he got out, she was there. But then again, that’s a white collar crime. What if he assaulted someone? Had a gun possession conviction? Could you overlook a clouded past? Or is that something you won’t deal with?

 

Shutterstock

Man with bad credit

After posting a few articles about the importance of dating someone with a good credit score, I’ve quickly learned that the tougher times get, the less people want to waste time on financially irresponsible people. But I think we all know that people can change. How many of us have bought a bunch of things we didn’t necessarily need at a given moment, and then struggled to pay those debts down? How many of us have gone through hard times and been unable to meet hefty payments like we wanted to? But at the same time, if someone, including a guy you’re seeing, doesn’t seek to change and would rather continue to spend borrowed change and rack up debt, this fella could be a liability to your financial health in the future.

father-with-daughter

Man with children

Nowadays, it’s becoming more normal for people to walk into relationships with a child. But I’ve noticed through social media that a man with kids to some women is STILL a huge no-no. Even if he does take good care of his responsibility and is a hands-on father, the drama that can come with the mother of a man’s child, or the time that has to be devoted that can take away from your relationship can scare many women off. But many other women have children of their own and those that do can often be more understanding of a man with a child or two, especially if he’s a great dad. But I will say, I don’t know anybody who would be so understanding of a man in a Shawty-Lo type of situation…

"Couple talking pf"

A man who only has female friends

While it starts off as no big deal, I’ve actually gone into a relationship with a man who might have had a handful of male friends, but a mass amount of female friends. I tried to be understanding of it all, but after a while, he started spending waaaaay too much time with them and less and less with me. When we broke up, I learned that the first person he tried to ask out on a date was one of those “female friends.” She was smart enough to say no.

While some men keep female friends around as a low-key stash of options, there are many who have innocent bonds with them, and they often know these women way before you come around. Could you stand the extra females around?

Shutterstock

A man with different religious beliefs

This is definitely more tame, but it’s also something that can create division in a relationship quickly. People base most of their moral fiber and everyday behavior around their religious beliefs, so when someone believes in something totally different, it can cause drama. It can be even more of a struggle if the person you’re interested in believes in no higher power at all. But with work and the right amount of respect, many people make these type of relationships work on a daily basis. But when it comes to you, could you be down with someone whose beliefs didn’t line up with yours?

"Man caught cheating pf"

A man with a cheating past

Just yesterday, singer LeAnn Rimes admitted that she often worried about her husband, Eddie Cibrian, possibly wanting to step out on her. Of course, the two cheated on the people they were married to in order to be together, so the stress of losing a man how you got him can wear a woman out. But if a man has a history of stepping out on his women, and all of a sudden claims he’s had an epiphany and wouldn’t cheat anymore, could you believe it? Some believe in the saying that “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” but many people make mistakes and want to do better…And then again, some guys can just be dogs.

shutterstock_96616468

A man who says he doesn’t want to marry

Whether it’s because they watched their mother and father’s relationship fall apart, have been married in the past and it didn’t work out, or just aren’t in to putting a ring on it, some men and women just aren’t into the concept of marriage. But who am I fooling? There’s a gang of both sexes still hoping to jump the broom with that special someone. So what happens when you’re at a stage where you want to eventually settle down, wed and start a family, and the man you’re interested in moving forward with doesn’t believe in marriage? When people tell you who they are and what they want straight up, it’s often best to listen to them and act accordingly, but some people believe they have the goods to change a man’s mind and make them reconsider (I wouldn’t recommend all that). Could you stick around and see what happens, or would you seek out the exit?

So out of all the options, what could you work with and what would you pass on?

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • I’m not really too sure how a man with female friends is a deal breaker? Doesn’t that mean he’s more sympathetic to feminine issues? BUT then again, I am new to this dating game. I would take a man with TEMPORARY financial difficulties due to unemployment or bad credit, but NO to a cheater, a criminal, a bisexual man, the men my age should be too young to have kids if they’re really interested in their careers and I’m not very religious, and I’ve always believed a person’s religion is their own business

  • Alexis_Gloria

    I wouldn’t work with any of them All of them are dealbreakers

  • Chocolicious

    Umm if u saw the trailer for Shawty’s show indeed there are plenty women who will put up wit that bull ish

    • Those women didn’t really look like the epitome of class ,elegance or intelligence. . .. IJS

  • HOUSTON

    NO BISEXUAL MAN,
    NO JOBLESS MAN NOT LOOKING FOR A JOB,
    NO MAN WITH A CRIMINAL PAST LIKE MOLESTING, MURDER, ROBBERY,
    NO MAN WITHOUT A GOAL TO BETTER HIMSELF,
    NO MAN WHO DO NOT FINANCIALLY PROVIDE FOR HIS CHILD,
    NO MAN WITHOUT A CAR,
    NO MAN WHO CAN’T AFFORD TO DATE A WOMAN,
    A MAN WITH NO PRIDE.
    A MAN WHOSE PARENTS HAVE TO FINANCIALLY BAIL HIM OUT ALL THE TIME.
    A MAN WHO IS ON HIS WAY TO BE MORBIDLY AND UNHEALTHY OBESE

  • unorthodoxjukebox

    How can a man with children be a deal breaker? His baby mama’s are not my business! Unless the kid is more than 1 that’s when. I have a problem. Aside that there’s nothing wrong with a single man with kids. You’re on your own,the kid is on his/her own too,what’s my business with them?as long as I love him then no problem. I would never date a bisexual man period! Criminal past hell no

  • ctelle

    for me 6 and 8 are not but the max is 2 children.. the rest are deal breakers.

  • Miyako

    I would pass on everything on this list.

  • Miyako

    Men aren’t taught or told to give women who they may not initially want a chance, so why should women?

  • iHeartMarijuana

    I would date a jobless man, a man with bad credit (how is that a deal breaker, that’s not what love is), I would date a former criminal, I would date the former cheater. I would DEFINITELY date a man with different religious beliefs, I’m Agnostic / love Jesus / raised Muslim, nobody has the same beliefs as me, I couldn’t care less lol.
    I would CONSIDER the man with kids but probably say no, I hate baby mamas. I would NEVER – EVER – EVER date a bisexual man, hell no. I would probably not date the man who doesn’t want to get married or who only has female friends, those are HUGE red flags.

  • Stanley Dada

    I don’t wanna ever get married. I’m doing very well in the dating world despite this small, little, tiny, bitty, deal breaker.

  • The only two on this list that aren’t deal breakers for me are the men having a hard time finding a job and the men with kids. I understand that the economy can be tough, but as long as he’s actively applying himself into looking for a job, I have no problem with that. And the men with kids, as long as they don’t have a bunch of baby mamas running all over the place, and are actually concerned about the welfare of their children, fine. But, the rest of them, no way, Jose! Especially a bisexual man and one with different religious beliefs. My faith is a very important part of who I am, and I don’t want to compromise that. And I don’t want to have to worry about a guy checking out other guys, or thinking about them while talking to me. To each his own, but that’s just me.

  • CommonSense

    Hell NO to the bisexual man, too freaky. Wish I could find somebody withouth children but gave up long ago. I would work with a guy with bad credit, there’s ways to fix it. I don’t want a guy with a criminal background but honestly it depends on the crime. If its real bad, I’m running in the opposite direction. Guy with cheating past ? Never make them your man but honestly how would you know, dogs never tell on themselves, and no I can’t get down with that new day, marriage is a no no type thing. I want to marry one day and have a REAL family, not a pretend one with 2/3 different guys like they do nowadays. How can you have a ” family ” with kids by more then one guy ??????

  • Maurietta Amara

    Its kind of hard nowadays, a lot of these men don’t have a job. Sometimes you can meet a man who has all of the qualities that you want but they are having a hard time finding work. I don’t want a bisexual man because I would be so insecure.

  • sabrina

    Thinking about it, ALL of these are deal breakers for me. Especially the one about having different beliefs. My faith is too strong to deal with that.

  • RJA

    Well, the only thing on this list that i can tolerate is having different religious beliefs, everything else is a DEAL BREAKER

  • Jess

    I think Frank Ocean is cute too, but dating a bisexual man is an absolute hell no for me.