New Year, New Mindset: 14 Ways You’re Going To Stop Being Down On Yourself In 2013

January 23, 2013  |  
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No good ever came from worrying, or being negative, or dwelling on the past. That is only a waste of time. And time is precious. So here are 14 ways you’re going to stop being down on yourself right now, and for the rest of the year. (And hopefully for the rest of your life!)

"Woman standing on a scale pf"

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The weight is over (rated)

And yes that is a play on words and not a misspelling. Look: maybe you do need to be working on yourself right now, exercising more and eating healthier, but the idea that you’re not allowed to be happy until you reach that goal is BS. You’re not going to get these years back. You don’t get to come back and re-live them once you’re at your ideal weight. You were given one body—one vessel—through which to enjoy this planet. So enjoy it. And yes, work on treating that vessel well.

"Man texting on a date pf"

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I’m not a bad catch, he just wasn’t meant to catch me

When a guy rejects you, stops thinking it’s because something is wrong with you. It’s just that you were the wrong person for him! If you go around thinking there is something wrong with you anytime a guy rejects you, you’ll constantly be adjusting yourself to what you think others want, and suddenly have no idea who you are. Be yourself, and one day someone will love you for just that.

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He’s not a bad catch, I just wasn’t meant to catch him!

The reverse is true too: stop thinking you have bad taste in men just because you can’t seem to fall for one. Most of the men you go out with are probably good people in their own right, but if chemistry isn’t then it just isn’t there. Oh and statistically speaking, it rarely is! You’re not too picky. You don’t have bad taste. The right one just hasn’t come along yet.

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I may not be at the top, but I am in my career

Stop worrying about where exactly you are in your career. There is only so much you can do; the rest is waiting for your turn, your time and the right opportunity to present itself. You’re not getting anywhere by worrying about where you are now. Plus life is too good to miss out on, all because you were too busy worrying about the end result.

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There’s no such thing as right moves or right timing; there are only right people

So stop mulling over what could have been, or how you could have done something differently, or some speech you could have given to make your past relationships work out. If a relationship is so fragile that one wrong move broke it, it wasn’t meant to be. If a man truly understood you and loved you, you couldn’t really mess up in his eyes, so long as your intentions were good. The men who are no longer here never truly understood you.

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You deserve to relax

We live in a society that is always finding ways to accomplish more, more, and more! At any given time you could be multi tasking. It’s no surprise many of us feel guilty when we just do nothing. We can hardly enjoy a vacation, or sleeping in late on the weekends. At the end of your life though, you’re not going to be thinking, “Thank god I got all that work done!” You’re going to be thinking, “I wish I’d done more of what made me happy, and spent more time with the people who made me happy.” So relax at little. Be lazy sometimes. You deserve it.

"Woman going crazy pf"

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Everyone’s crazy

Everybody has sent ten texts in a row to a guy who didn’t respond to even one. Everyone has gotten drunk and cried and not known why. Everyone has let jealousy consume them at some point. It’s not because you’re weird, or you need therapy. It’s because you’re human. Stop feeling there is something deeply wrong with you that is standing in the way of you being happy and finding love. There’s something wrong with everyone. Accept it, and then maybe you can be happy!

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Don’t worry about the barflies

Most women go home from the bar scene with a smaller ego than they entered it with. Being at a bar means having cute conversations quickly turn into, “So, want to come home with me?” It means seeing a guy who got your number earlier ask for somebody else’s. It means fighting for the attention of the one cute guy with twenty other women. You’re not the weaker link. You’re experiencing what most women experience when they go out.

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Know that everyone attracts creeps online

Are you online dating? Of course you are. Everyone is dabbling in it today. And if you’re dabbling in it, you’ve probably spoken to at least twenty guys who seemed great for a few exchanged messages, until they said something creepy, or got possessive or disappeared. And if that has happened, you probably now believe you’re a magnet for creeps. News flash: everybody attracts creeps online! The majority of people on there are creeps (because it’s the perfect spot for them: they can lie about who they are, nobody has to know) and so the majority of men you’ll find will be creeps. But keep your chin up and know that it’s all part of the game, and charge on until you stumble upon one of the few normal ones out there.

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The last single girl at the party

Here’s a secret: probably only about half the couples you know should actually be together. Probably only half of them have truly happy, loving, healthy relationships that will work out in the long run. Don’t think there is something wrong with you for being the last single girl. Think there is something strong about you for holding out for nothing but the best. You don’t settle. Many others do.

"Woman eating chocolate pf"

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Stop calling your vices “vices”

Do you like to, once a week, eat a whole roll of Oreos in front of the TV? Do you share a bottle of wine with a friend every Sunday evening? Stop calling these vices! These are the gems of living! So long as they aren’t negatively impacting your life, shine a little better light on them. You shouldn’t have to feel bad about having a great conversation with a friend, facilitated by a great bottle of wine.

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Stop thinking of where you thought you’d be

So when you were 15 you thought by now you’d run your own company. But you know what you didn’t know when you were 15? Just how much goes into building a company! Whatever your dream was, I’m not saying it’s unattainable, and I’m certainly not saying that you should make excuses for yourself but be realistic: so long as you know you are trying, you deserve credit. Oh and by the way, nobody is today where they thought they would be when they were 15.

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Nobody’s that social anymore

Do you have these illusions that everyone you know is out partying, except for you? And that everyone you know makes a point, and has the time, to get together on a weekly basis? Yeah right! You’re not anti-social, you’re not a loser and you’re not being left out of things. Everyone is into themselves when they grow up—their careers, their partners, their “alone time” for yoga or whatever. That’s the way life is as you get older and have responsibilities, and have very little time and have to choose very carefully how to spend it. Everyone is home on a Wednesday night now, watching TV with or without a boyfriend.

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iStockphoto

Nobody is as wealthy as they seem

Fact: most Americans don’t know about Roth IRA’s, investment bonds and mortgage rates. Don’t sit there and believe you’re the only one who hasn’t gotten with the program yet. But while we’re discussing it, get with the program! You’ll be glad you did when you’re older. But don’t believe your friends have it all together, just because they wear designer bags.

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  • Miss K

    I needed to read this today (sigh).

  • LuluDeb

    oh wow, this is a WONDERFUL article. It’s almost like someone hugging you and telling you everything will be alright. I really appreciate it.

  • Loved this article. Been having these thoughts/discussions for awhile now. We go through so many changes, some good and some bad. We have to persevere, exhale, let go, love and live life!

  • Loved this article. Been having these thoughts/discussions for awhile now. We go through so many changes, some good and some bad. We have to persevere, exhale, let go, love and live life!