Can People Stop Using Abortions As Birth Control And Then Bragging About It?

79 Comments
January 16, 2013 ‐ By Clarke Gail Baines
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While perusing Instagram sometime last week, I came across a very interesting post by an old colleague that was meant to put a few people on blast. He didn’t write what I’m about to say, but rather, he reposted it on his own Instagram profile because he felt the message was one that needed to be shared with as many people as possible. It went something like this:

“B***hes be screaming #teamnokids but forgetting to mention #team 10 abortions !!!”

At the time that I read the post, it was late, and I was chugging down some chocolate milk. (What can I say? It knocks me right out.) But let me tell you, I was so close to spitting my milk out on my phone after reading his post that it’s not even funny. I don’t personally know many women who’ve acted loud and proud like this when it comes to abortions, but I do know a few women (whether they know that I know or not) who’ve terminated pregnancies, some multiple, so I was shocked to see someone put folks on blast on something as trivial as Instagram to discuss such a serious issue. But hey, I guess the individual did have a point.

After the post sat for a few minutes, people started commenting. Many were saying “preach” and “sad but true.” But there was one girl who could speak for #teamabortion, and she had no regrets or sadness about the decisions she made in the past. In fact, she seemed kind of proud when she said in front of his many followers, “Team 4. AND.,” as if to say, “AND WHAT!?” After my colleague said what was on everybody’s mind in response to her (“OMG!”), he told her that she could have kept that little tidbit of information to herself. Her response? “Just saying. Ain’t my fault so many have tried and failed to trap me lmao.” Surprisingly enough, another woman joined in on the thread and agreed with her: “Werd. Rather that than be a rachet a** baby momma.”

I read these three comments over and over again, hoping what I was looking at was a joke. And when I realized these women were dead serious, I cut off my bedroom light, snuggled up under my covers, closed my eyes, and thought to myself, “Wow, the world is definitely going to hell in a hand basket.”

When I shared this story with some friends, they couldn’t believe it to be true, but it was as real as real could get, and very sad at the same time. I would be lying if I said that I don’t judge people from time to time, because we all do, even when we try not to. And while I can’t personally hold a grudge or be upset with another individual for the choices they make with their body and their children, I was hoping we could all have enough sense and tact to know that bragging about the number of times you’ve terminated the life of a baby and that you feel you dodged a bullet is beyond disgusting. While I’m all for women having a choice in what happens with their reproductive organs, I’m disappointed that this choice is so often used as a replacement form of birth control and is now so common that you can joke about it, in public, on social media, with your name attached to your profile, and not feel any kind of way about it. Has the idea of not being “trapped” by the responsibilities of motherhood at an inconvenient time that much of a relief to some that such procedures are now a friggin’ joke or have no emotional impact on us at all? If so, that’s a doggone shame.

In high school and college, I heard about classmates having one or two abortions, and then going on like nothing ever happened. I’ll never forget when one of my cousins told me about a girl she knew who had an abortion. Hoping to be the one to take her home and help her through what she assumed would be a tumultuous time emotionally, my cousin went along with this girl as she made one of the biggest decisions in one’s young life. After the procedure was over, the baby was gone, and the drowsiness had worn off, she tried to stay with the girl and be a shoulder for her. When she asked her how she was feeling and if she wanted to talk, my cousin said that this young lady perked up like someone asked her if she was ready for ice cream, and proceeded to wave off the whole thing like it never happened. She was “free.” And to this day I know (because the friend has said so) that she sleeps around recklessly because she can, pretending she’s the black Samantha from Sex and the City when she’s really a hot mess.

I’m not trying to throw the hammer down on any woman for doing what she has to do, because I know (or at least I hope) the decision to have an abortion is tough. Plus, only you know what you would do when faced with an unwanted pregnancy at the worst possible time. But I can’t help but be disgusted at people using something that serious and sometimes traumatizing for others and joking about it to be defiant because they can’t handle the truth. While you don’t have to turn into a “rachet a** baby momma” if you don’t want to be one, at least do yourself and these unborn children you’re throwing away a favor and get on a consistent form of birth control. We’ve all made mistakes and had to make tough decisions, but it’s not cute to brag about them; Because while you’re trying to make a joke out of something as serious as an abortion, you’re making a fool out of your damn self.

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  • Lu

    The quote I found particularly disturbing was the one that lady said “She felt trapped” thus having 4 abortions. Call me crazy but isn’t it the woman’s responsibility to protect herself with a reliable form of birth control? So who’s “trapping” who?

  • SheLaLa

    As someone who works in women’s clinic I will say they may not be proud but rather happy with decision they have made to terminate a pregnancy. Abortion is more about the mom than the unborn child. All women that have abortion (very few are from rape) do it for very selfish reasons…now is not a good time; the guy was a one night stand; I can’t afford it; I am not in a good place right now…the list goes on and on. I see very few individuals that come into the office because of failed birth control; because, most of them are not using birth control of any type and when we ask them did they plan to get pregnant the answer is always no. I have women who have had abortions and are really okay with their decisions, they rationalize it using the excuses listed above. And in some instances end up right back in the clinic for a pregnancy test within a year. As for multiple abortions it really depends on the mindset of the individual. Usually if they can get through the first one, it makes it easier for them to have multiple abortions. Our society has dehumanized pregnancy by calling the baby a fetus and by using that terminology it makes it much easier to terminate a pregnancy. What people don’t realize there are other options…abstinence, adoption, birth control and parenting. If you don’t want to be responsible for another life than do something about it other than taking a life. And for the record I do have children. I had my first at 17 and he was a product of rape; but, I did not believe in abortion, nor do I believe I “could not” do this. It may not have been the optimum time to have a baby but I certainly believe that every life has purpose. My son was never hindered me but rather he was a blessing to my life.Though I can’t stop every woman from having an abortion; I would implore you to think about your reproductive health. Limit your number of partners, choose the person wisely that you plan to give yourself to…will he make a good father, mate? Use birth control, and use it correctly. And most importantly remember that it is a baby, by the time most women get a pregnancy test, the heart is already beating and all of his or her tissues/organs/ brain/ limbs have already been put in place and need to grow to maturity. Lastly your right to choose begins when you choose to have unprotected sex.

  • kierah

    A man really shouldn’t even part of the discussion judging how many abortions a woman has had when he may have NO IDEA how many women he has impregnated over the years. The women have to deal with the pregnancy and are forced to bear all the judgment and scrutiny.

    I don’t think anyone is bragging about the number of abortions. Stating the number of abortions is a statement of fact.

    Abortions are not intended to be used contraception. However, there are certain people that I would be prefer have multiple abortions instead of multiple children they won’t bother raising.

    • RJA

      Our society is so warped. People on here claiming that these women should abstain from sex smh like she gets pregnant by herself. Also, why is there a minimum age requirement to get sterilized? If they had honored my request, I wouldn’t have had to have an abortion. Also, what about when a child is born to people who cant afford to care for a child? Now yall mad because the kid is being supported by our tax dollars. How about when the father decides he doesn’t want to be involved? Abortion isn’t the ideal decision but imagine what it would be like if that wasn’t an available option… Y’all think it’s ratchet out here now, huh?

  • Candacey Doris

    Look, if you find that you have had 2+ abortions because you either keep forgetting your birth control or keep falling for these men that want to do it without a condom, save up and find yourself an IUD. Get that shot that lasts for a month. But these constant abortions are not good for your health.I have never met a woman that bragged about this, but i know there are women that are getting up there. Please be responsible!

  • pretty1908

    I am pro choice, but personally I am pro life. I can’t imagine killing my family, because to me that’s what abortion,

  • rainyday

    I don’t understand why anyone would get repeated abortions. You have to take responsibility for your own actions as an adult. I know three people who had abortions and they were devastated. They don’t even talk about it. You have to keep in mind that the person you are having casual sex with may be the father of your child. I had to evaluate my own actions in my life this year. I told myself this year would not be a repeat of last year. Its time to rewrap it up or pay the price. That is aways a price for having casual sex be it an emotional or physical price.

    • Anonymous

      I’m more embarrassed about the child i put up for adoption than the one i aborted

  • Crazyco

    I don’t think the article was about the few or many who use abortion as a form of BC, but about the large % of those that do who seem ” to have no worries” after the fact. I have always said I know plenty of women who have had abortions, but I can’t name one who was devastated over the process and the decision they made in most cases more than once or twice. The only people I found to be sad about it are the ones who were forced by parents, or others to have one. If it was your decision which in most cases it is, your not going to loose sleep over it and this is just what I observed since high school up into now ! For one it’s a five minute process, 2 it’s free. Now that, excuse my language f’ed me up. You don’t even need money. Who knew they had a 1-800 number to cover the expenses. I think it’s important to look into why women have so many or choose that option. I gave you two reasons for starters. Free and a five minute process, and it’s done then and there. No sickness, no pains after the fact…..and I think that plays a major part in the decisions made !

  • http://twitter.com/CKendallB CKBrowne

    As with all things there are people who abuse. The thing is all these folks who are pro-lifers , use these very people to make their arguement.
    Just use a damn condom, or the pill, or and ring, or shot, or iud, something or if you don’t want kids , make damn sure you can’t have any. And this is for men and women.
    There is no excuse.

    • hiswomanandlovingit

      They are making sure they don’t have any children. The may have been using some form of birth control.

      • Leena

        I can appreciate that you’re speaking from experience. Birth control didn’t work for you, but let’s be honest here. How many women in the African American community are really using it effectively. Our STD rates wouldn’t be so high if they were.

        • hiswomanandlovingit

          You know you are right. I can’t actually say that every other woman is using birth control effectively. I can only speak for myself. The STI rates in our community are not something that is just something women need to pay attention to. Yes are the ones that get pregnant but we are getting pregnant but we are not getting pregnant alone. Men need to take some the onus as well.

      • Leena

        I can appreciate that you’re speaking from experience. Birth control didn’t work for you, but let’s be honest here. How many women in the African American community are really using it effectively. Our STD rates wouldn’t be so high if they were.

      • http://twitter.com/CKendallB CKBrowne

        Oh I know things happen. Trust me i do, but there are people who do truly abuse the ability, Instead of being more responsible. People who don’t want kids, but don’t do anything to prevent it.

  • Babydoll 70

    Keep living a trifling life. One thing for sure is, you can’t abort STDs especially Herpes and HIV/AIDS. That stays with you for LIFE.

  • Meelah

    I really didn’t think that sort of thing was going on with average women until two women in separate conversations told me they had 6+ abortions over the years. 1 woman was drunk and probably wouldn’t have mentioned it other wise the other woman it was just in a casual conversation. I guess I’ve always been a bit sheltered and naive I figured there were women who had 1 or 2 but not anything nearing double digits. I didn’t think I knew anyone who did it that often. I’ve always been pro-choice and still continue to be but I don’t think women should be using it that often when they have access to birth control and condoms. I also don’t get this new phenomenon of people posting about it on FB and Twitter.

    • TRUTH IS

      I always say not because you dont have a baby doesnt mean you were never pregnant. In the islands they frown upon abortions…they will call your womb a cemetry!! Not cute bragging to the public about it.

    • Trisha_B

      I had a friend in high school who had about 3 abortions. After the last one, drs told her she probably can’t have kids. When my best friend got prego our senior year, that girl threw so much shade lol. Its like how you gonna talk down to my friend for keeping her kid, b/c you wanted to be loosey goosy & not use any type of protection & kill yours. For the longest she was shouting no kids on facebook, & all I could do is smh. She had a baby last year & called him her miracle child smh…I dont think I’ll ever understand this abortion (except rape & medical issues) thing when there are so many forms of birth control & male/female condoms. It can be prevented. For that girl to say guys were trying to trap her, she sounds dumb b/c that shows she wasn’t being protected & probably got trapped w/ some stds

  • Reese

    I really didn’t know some women use abortion as a method of birth control. An abortion is traumatic to your mental and physical being and to see somebody undergo that repeatedly is sad when it can be avoided. Why not take the pill or get an IUD if you don’t want to get pregnant? But to get repeated abortions as a method of birth control is trifling.

  • Nisa

    Hey, thank God, this chick got all those abortions. She does not need to be a mother! Uggghhh!

    • Babydoll 70

      She should just beg them to give her a hysterectomy and then she can continue to be trifling without harming an unborn child. I know doctors won’t do that without cause but hell, killing kids is trifling especially if one is not even trying to be preventative or proactive about birth control.

      • Dont Worry

        I’ve been begging to get my tubes tied since I was 18, even tried in a different state and they won’t do it until you’re 30 and/or have a couple kids. That’s not fair either

        • Candacey Doris

          Go to another country and get it done. Canada is just a few hours away.

          • Dont Worry

            Right, cause I can just take my American tail over the border and get medical treatment… Anyway, only 2 more years til I’m 30, so I’m just gonna wait it out and keep up with the bc

        • Ms. Kameria

          I’ m 25 and trying like hell to find a doctor to tie my tubes. I don’ t have kids and don’ t want any ever. I just had to settle for 10 yr birth control and condoms each and every time, so there will be no need for abortion(s).

  • sluggbugpinktagme92

    I feel like it isn’t as taboo as one might think anymore. I am 20 and a college student and there are SEVERAL girls here that I know have had abortions that they did on their own or at a clinic. I really think it has just become a rising trend that should be put to a halt.

    • chanela

      it’s not gonna stop when people are encouraging folks to sleep around. people still haven’t got the concept of sex=babies. people are laying around in any ole peter’s bed and then get shocked that they’re pregnant. let’s stop the one night stands and “hook ups” and we’ll see a decline.

      i’m sick of people telling me that i’m young and i need to have fun and “explore”. it’s so sickening that people are telling young girls this and then saying “just use a condom” as if it’s magic or something.

      • Babydoll 70

        I wish more younger folk thought like you. Good response.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    Abortion isn’t an easy decision for anyone to make. The women who are so flippant about it are in the minority. But the only real reason it makes some women feel uncomfortable because abortion is still taboo even though it’s legal. Remember this country was founded on judeo-christian values, hence the ban on gay marriage, abortion, god in the pledge of allegiance etc. so by default even if you have a softer positions of some of these issues, you are trained to feel a certain way.

    • chanela

      really? what if you aren’t religious at all but still think it’s sad and stupid to get to many abortions like that? you’re not allowed to feel upset at so many irresponsible people killing babies?

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

        You don’t have to be a practicing Christian. It’s only because of religion that there is a stigma attached to abortion in the first place. Sure there are a a few people who don’t believe in it who aren’t religious but that’s a small number. The majority of arguments you ever hear or the majority of legislation to limit abortion all has to do with abortion. It’s what you’re taught as child as with most things, only difference is this stuff you don’t grow it of it.

  • CeLaVie

    As a 38 year old single woman with no children I can say for me I did have an abortion at age 22. I wasn’t capable of being a parent at that time and as soon as I found out I was pregnant I went to my doctor right away. When I look back I see how having a child would have hindered a lot of what I have accomplished in my life and I would have been a single mother (and I don’t believe I am capable of raising a child alone because it is hard work).
    For me, I had to do what I had to do, however it took a toll on me emotionally so I made sure it was something that never happened again

    • Olivia

      You are a coward who is only concerned with how a child would have hindered what you wanted to do in life. Being a parent requires sacrifices at any age and any human being with an ounce of character recognizes that there are consequences for our actions. Women have abortions for different reasons, but to justify it by claiming that the human being you created through your own actions would have stood in the way of what you wanted to do in life is beyond selfish. Regardless of what anyone says a fetus is a life. It breaths and has a metabolism just like us all. If the fetus were not an actual human being this article and its comments would be irrelevant. Afterall, what is wrong with terminating something that is not alive. That is as morally neutral as discarding trash. I hope you come to terms with the magnitude of what you have done and I hope that you enjoy celebrating all of your accomplishments in life. None of these will ever be as great as the 16th birthday you should be celebrating with your child.

      • Olivia

        And your belief that you were not capable of raising a child is bogus. It takes very little intelligence to give a child up for adoption. You obviously had the determination to pursue other endeavors in life but you backed out of being a parent because being a single mother is too hard? That’s your excuse? Wow. Just wow.

        • SMHgurl24

          Oh PLEASE don’t go on w/ that mess! She did the right thing bc whether you believe it or not raising children isn’t all about putting a roof over their head and food in their mouth and W/all the bad mothers out there I rather have someone abort a child then raise it into being a menace to society. Not everyone can and will sacrifice their future for something they’re not ready for. I know that if an accident occurred and I were to get pregnant at this point in my life I would terminate the pregnancy. I wouldn’t even consider adoption bc I know no one would be able to raise the child as well as I would want. Hiding behind a computer and calling someone a coward shows how little you know about the subject. Also your argument on what a fetus is is laughable and your knowledge of it is primitive. I suggest hitting the books.

          • Olivia

            LOL @ your logic. You attack my “primitive” knowledge of a fetus even though nothing I said was false. Basic reading comprehension skills would alert you to the fact that I did not define what a fetus is. I merely identified two characteristics of an unborn fetus (among others) that can also be identified in any other living human being such as yourself. My point was to acknowledge the fact that the fetus is in fact a living child. This is something that you yourself acknowledged when you claimed that you would “rather have someone abort a CHILD [than] raise it into being a menace to society.” Your statement reveals two beliefs. First, as I stated before, you obviously believe (whether consciously or unconsciously) that a fetus is in fact a child. Second, your statement makes the assumption that the child of an unprepared mother will become a menace to society–a conclusion no one could reasonably draw since we have no ability to predict the future. There are many persons who have been born to single parents and have found great success. By contrast, there are a plethora of individuals who were born into stable two parent households with significant access to wealth and resources who turned out to be failures in life. The point is that there is absolutely no way of completely predicting the outcome of an individual’s life simply based upon the status of the child’s parents. Your comments and those of the CeLaVie are absolutely heartbreaking. They reveal a mentality that is all too common among many in our culture. It is a wicked attitude that unborn children are disposable, that their lives are only precious when it is convenient or desirable for the mother to give birth. As if the personal goals that a mother wishes to accomplish in her life are more important than the survival of another human being. Life is full of horrendous challenges and difficulties. Yet character causes us to face these challenges head on, especially when they are of our own making. To back down and take the easy way out rather that taking responsibility for one’s action is cowardice. Simple as that. I wish CeLaVie nothing but peace in her life. However, the fact that a woman who is almost 40 years old can justify her actions with the excuses she named above is terribly sad and shows that she still fails to realize the seriousness of her actions 16 years ago. You and anyone else can choose to ignore what abortion really is. You can trivialize it, dismiss it, or justify it with the selfish belief that the dreams and goals of the mother are more important than the child she created. You can call me judgmental and applaud the mother for doing what she had to do, so to speak. That does not change the fact that having an abortion is ending the life of another human being….Period. If there is anyone reading my response who is considering an abortion, know that the life of that child does not belong to you, it belongs to God. He is powerful enough to provide for you and your child. No matter how insurmountable the obstacles may seem, you can overcome. Do not listen to these people who dismiss human life in favor of their own superficial desires. Always choose LIFE.

            And by the way, I’m not hiding behind a computer screen….I have said the same thing to friends of mine who have had or were considering abortions. Have a good day.

            • SMHgurl24

              I admit I was wary of calling a fetus a child since I worried it would be taken out of the context I was implying (which is was) but I’m staying firm. If you arn’t ready for a child don’t have one! Simple as that, you can’t go on bullying people into having it on the fact that its a life (which I’m not singling you out personally just people w//your thinking). We can go back and fourth on the bad parenting debate all day and yes “stable” homes can also yield unstable children but what I’m saying is that people who are not ready to raise children will most likely have kids with behavioral issues because they just don’t care or they don’t have the mentality raise one. You call it wicked mentality and I call it a survival mentality. I’m not bringing a child into the world that I can’t take care of by myself period!

              • SMHgurl24

                What you call cowardly I call strength. Its not an easy thing to do and
                to think its “taking the easy way out” shows how ignorant you are. If
                you want to call it murder, killing, whatever it doesn’t change my
                stance. And please don’t bring God into this. If he was providing for
                us, there would be no one dying from hunger or left out freezing to
                death. We provide for ourselves, we make decisions ourselves. You can
                chant “choose life” all you want the fact is that if your hungry, your child is gonna be hungry.
                Superficial desires, HA! I didn’t know paying bills was a superficial
                desire. I didn’t know keeping food in the fridge was a superficial
                desire. Anyone reading this and is thinking about abortion or adoption
                please know that its YOUR DECISION! DON”T let these people bully you
                into what you think is best for yourself because at the end of the day
                it all falls on you! THATS REALITY, this isn’t a Disney movie, you need to make sure your fully prepared to raise another life.

                • inessa

                  “And please don’t bring God into this. If he was providing for
                  us, there would be no one dying from hunger or left out freezing to
                  death” you lost me there!!

          • inessa

            and if a man abandons…I mean”aborts” his child because “he’s not ready” ,you would call him irresponsible and all kind of names!!!

            • Pivyque

              Abandon and abortion are two different things.

          • Ms_Sunshine9898

            If a pregnant woman can get certain rights and special privileges as a woman “preparing for birth” then that sounds like she has a life inside her to me. Otherwise, me giving favors to a pregnant woman such as giving her my seat on bus or allowing her to have the expectant mother’s parking should because I feel like being nice to another person and not because she’s pregnant. . .

      • CeLaVie

        Olivia, although you have an opinion about how I have chosen to live my life, guess what I could give 2 s#@ts about it. I have come to terms with my actions and I must say I am living my life likes its golden, thank you very much. I feel sorry for you and the judgmental spirit you posses, I’m sure you are a pretty woman but what ugly words you have written. I pity you

    • Pivyque

      You did what you had to do. These people can say what they want about you, but at the end of the day, they weren’t going to be sending you money, helping you clean up or helping you take care of that kid. Best of luck in all you do!

      • Olivia

        You are absolutely right. Most people will not send you money or help you clean up after your child. That is because it is NOT THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. That is what happens when we make decisions in life….we deal with the consequences The burden of having to face the consequences of our actions is not a justifiable reason to take the life of another human being. I don’t expect others to “clean up” after me when I make poor decisions. I have to face them like a big girl and everyone else should too. Good Day!

        • Pivyque

          EXACTLY! You just made my point. NOT THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. She decided to make an ADULT decision by having an abortion because she knew that if she had the child, it would have been HER responsibility. She did what she felt was best for her. Who are you to judge her? I’ll tell you…NOBODY. This article is not about whether abortion is right or wrong. It is about women that get multiple ones and brag about it. Clearly, this woman is not bragging. She had one and felt bad about it. Therefore, she made sure that she didn’t put herself in a situation for that to happen again. It’s good for her that she learned from the first one and has decided to be more careful rather than using abortion as a form of birth control.

        • Ms_Sunshine9898

          I’m glad you refer to abortions as “clean ups”. . . .

      • CeLaVie

        Thank You Pivyque

        • Pivyque

          No problem. Thank you for being open with your experience. I know there are plenty of people that are scared to share because of the negative feedback they are bound to receive.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4TC2GNVJI3KE4UNJAFZRSDT7NQ Lisa

      Some of you people on here attacking this woman for making a decision about her body and life. You are not God and can’t judge her for her decisions. When your time comes for judgement you will be judged on what you have said to this lady and other things that you have done in this life. It’s not like she did this over and over again. i know a few women from my younger days that used abortions as a form of birth control. And when they was ready for a child they couldn’t have a child or had a hard time conceiving or carrying the baby to full term due to the damage they put their body in from having multiple abortions. Some people would rather have a abortion one time, then to give the child up for adoption. I know personally, I would rather have an abortion because i would see other kids near my child’s age and wonder is that my child or wondering all the time how is my child doing, is he/she being treated fair.

      • CeLaVie

        Well said Lisa, Thank you

      • chanela

        well hey. they decided to put it out there. there is a comment section for a reason. you can’t write an article, put a comment section and then get mad when people don’t agree with what you wrote. i wish people would stop it with the”judging” mess. you are judging this person yourself, with the comment that you just wrote. you aren’t god and you can’t judge them for writing their opinion. see how that works?

  • hiswomanandlovingit

    The thing I don’t understand is why do others care? Clearly, if a woman is so blase about having multiple abortions does anyone really think she is gonna be a candidate for “mother of the year”? I don’t pretend to know the reasons people have abortions but I am thankful that the option is out there for women like the ones mentioned who are proud of this crap. People are so quick to judge women who have abortions but at the same time want to bad mouth women who need help taking care of the child(ren). Society can not have both. Either you want women to have EVERY child that she conceives (and run the risk of having to help her via tax dollars or the child hits foster care and possibly be unwanted or abused) or you want to ensure that there are options for women to not be put in this situation (access to birth control and abortion).

    What I have come to realize is that many of t he people who are “pro-life” are actually pro-birth. There are all sorts of programs and people to help pregnant women but once the baby is born you are literally tossed out on to the streets. You then have the option of getting state aid and having everyone bad mouth you for it or you put your child up for adoption and don’t let the movie stars and socialites fool you, the world is not exactly tripping over themselves for little black children.

    At the end of the day, leave these women alone. If they choose to have an abortion a month who is this harming but themselves? Yes, people can scream “what about the innocent babies” all day long but how about we worry about the ones that are already here and languishing in foster care because they have no one. Stop worrying about the life that isn’t here and worry about the lives that are.

    • Pivyque

      Exactly! You speak the truth and nobody wants to hear it! I had 2 friends in college get abortions. As soon as they found out they were pregnant, they made an appointment. They asked me to go with them because they knew that I wouldn’t judge them for their choice. You have to do what you have to do. They were not in the positions to take care of a kid. I believe that it is a woman’s choice and she deserves to make that choice without judgment.

      • chanela

        well if you aren’t ready for a child then don’t have sex with random men who don’t care about you. simple. i wish adults would realize that sex has consequences. if you aren’t down for possibly getting pregnant then don’t have sex with that person.

        • guest

          Most intelligent comment yet.

          • Pivyque

            It’s not really. She is assuming that the two women that I am talking about were not in relationships. She is assuming that those women got pregnant because they were out sleeping with random men. That was not the case. To imply that only women that sleep with random men have abortions is actually a very ignorant comment.

        • Pivyque

          It’s a misconception that only women that have sex with random men that don’t care about them have abortions. I was married when I first considered an abortion. Also, the 2 friends that I am mentioning were in long term relationships with these guys. One ended up marrying her bf at the time and they are still together. I don’t know if they used protection or not because I did not ask, BUT I do know that they did it for themselves. It had nothing to do with the guys. They did not want kids. Just because you don’t want kids does not make you a bad person and it also doesn’t mean that they should not ever have sex. I have sex with my husband because it feels good. I don’t want anymore kids.

          • inessa

            did her bf know that she had an abortion?the point is every action has consequences

            • Pivyque

              I get the point. My point is that we have different options for dealing with said consequences (have the baby or have an abortion). To be honest with you, I don’t know if he knew or not. It didn’t matter to me what he knew. All I knew was that my friend asked me to be there for her and I was. That is all I needed to know.

        • hiswomanandlovingit

          My first child was conceived while i was on ortho-tri-cyclene. My second while I was using a diaphragm and spermicide.
          And my third while shortly after the birth of my second, still breast
          feeding and no period (so no ovulation….or so I thought). Birth
          Control is not 100%. After my third child I have my tubes tied. Guess
          what? I got pregnant again. This time it was tubal. Now my husband has a
          vasectomy. We are hoping that there are no more pregnancies. There are
          only 2 ways to make sure that pregnancy is 100% not going to happen; 1.
          abstinence (and since I am married, that is not gonna happen) or 2.
          having a total hysterectomy (which is not an option for me either).

    • Leena

      You say that society can not dislike both women who have abortions and women who need help with their children. I don’t think people should judge other people, but your argument implies that these women have no other choices. They do. They can remain abstinent, or they can use both control. A lot of these women don’t even use condoms, which is why STD’s are so rampant in the African American community. At one point, you have to take responsibility for your actions. I can appreciate the fact that you changed your life for the better, but if you are having continuous abortions you are not handling your business. I’ve always been pro-choice simply because everything is not so black and white, but to have no regard at all for the children you are killing is ridiculous.

      • hiswomanandlovingit

        I did make mention of birth control but there are some who (mostly the “pro-birth group) who don’t want birth control either. Yes, there is a thing called abstinence however I am realistic. That is not is not a long term solution. The people who are most vocal about abstinence are not the ones practicing it.

      • hiswomanandlovingit

        Also, not every woman that has an abortion is unwed. There are plenty of married couples going for abortion as well. Birth control does not work in every case. In fact all three of my children were conceived while I was using some form of birth control.

        • Pivyque

          Exactly!

    • Babydoll 70

      I think it’s moreso a concern for the unborn child and just for decency in general. What clown goes around bragging about terminating a pregnancy. Get on a consistant form of birth control on the front end and brag about that rather than killing an unborn child for your convenience.

      • Pivyque

        I don’t think people should brag about it, but I also don’t think people should brag about how many women they have slept with, how big their body parts are or how much they can drink, but people do it anyway. I’m not going to judge someone because they made the choice to do what they wanted and then decided to brag about it. I am just going to make sure that I don’t surround myself with those people.

  • laia

    Team this and that is ridiculous, and at least Samantha got smart and used birth cpntrol on her excursions. I don’t know how someone could do that numerous times and just not TRY preventative methods at all?! AIDS, HIV, warts/Herpes…still exist!

    • Reese

      Some people would like to pretend like STDs are just a myth or that they are the Gingerbread Man or Woman and they would never catch one.

  • Nic

    Obviously there are a few women who are careless about their birth control/contraceptive decisions, and thus have had several abortions, and as your article shows there are some that are even extremely proud of it. What I really don’t like about this article is that you try to make that minority seem like a much bigger number than it really is. I totally agree that it is a discussion worth having–about people using abortion as a form of contraceptive, but your argument wouldn’t have been any less valid if you had accurately reflected the fact that it is a small minority of women who do this sort of thing. For most women, the decision to have an abortion is incredibly tough and extremely emotionally taxing and it is not something they brag about let alone discuss with people outside their close circle–if that!!

    • hollyw

      I totally agree. The author personally stating that she didn’t know many women who’ve proudly publicized abortions, then stating that she knew “a few…, whether they know that I know or not”, kind of invalidated her opinion and this article for me.

      • Leelee

        Maybe it’s just me, but I read that as the author doesn’t know women who are proud of having abortions, but she does know people who made that decision and struggled with it. The difference is the latter wouldn’t make the same mistake again and the former don’t even view it as a mistake.

    • IllyPhilly

      Yes, plus one. I found this title very disturbing. I’ve never met or know of any woman proud of abortions.

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        I have. Every single woman I know who has had one said they did it because they didn’t want any kids at the time and glad they did it to since it “saved” them from a responsibility they weren’t ready for. . .

    • KIR12

      UNMARRIED women are held responsible for her PREGNANCY. The high illegitimacy rate in the black community is never going to end until black women get off this condoms only lie. 72% black illegitimacy and 50% abortion of all black pregnancies confirms it’s a lie. Yet you all expect teenagers and young adults to use a condom every time they have s3x and then tell them female contraceptives are optional/not needed!!? Laughable, black women are telling young black girls to do something they weren’t able to do themselves! If you’re a healthy s3xually active young woman and not using some type of female contraceptive it’s not a matter of if it’s a matter of WHEN you become pregnant. Black women are still in the dark ages when it comes to preventing unwanted pregnancies.

      Yes, s3xually active teenagers and young women should PLAN on the MAN using a condom every time but if you don’t want to get pregnant you better have a backup plan. You are responsible for your body life and future. You, and no one else! We know when trust is built and emotions and feelings are involved condoms are not used or not used as often. It’s just a fact of life. Condoms are good for short term hookups and prevention of STD’s. That’s it. Condoms EXCLUSIVELY has never worked as a longterm effective means of birth control for any race nor any country IN THE WORLD. Which is why every industrialized nation in the WORLD has embraced female contraceptives. Fact

    • KIR12

      How can this be a minority when 50% of all black pregnancies are aborted? This is Black feminism which is actually quasi gh3tto feminism. lol They want the 100% control of their reproductive rights won by white feminist w/o accepting the accountability and responsiblity that comes with it. They’ll run down to the abortion clinic and terminate the kids they don’t want then turn around and blame the black man for the other kids they decide to keep.

      • Nic

        I’m sorry I wasn’t aware that because 50% of all black pregnancies are aborted that means that the majority of those people run around bragging about it (although I personally don’t believe that having an abortion should be a source of shame). Did you also know that black women are the most likely of any demographic in this country to live in poverty? So, if equal economic opportunities were available in this country like they are supposed to be, I believe you would see the number of black pregnancies that aborted decline. So, I find it offensive that you make it seem like accountability issue. Although a lack of accountability does play a part for some people, I think a lack of access to things like good education and job opportunities are the bigger culprit here.

      • Truth

        She’s talking about women who bragged about it, dumbass.