Don’t Be Scared, We Promise He Won’t Bite: Dating Tips For The Shy Gals

January 17, 2013  |  

 

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If you’re quiet, reserved, and shy, you know how hard it can be to make it successfully in the dating world. Though there is nothing wrong with being shy, it definitely makes finding a guy and keeping his interest harder than usual. Here are 14 tips for shy females who want to take the dating world by storm.

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Don’t wait to get out there!

Maybe this one is obvious, but you can’t let your shyness stop you from dating. Set small goals so that you’re able to crack open your shell a little and get into the dating scene. Go to a local bar more often or hit up a party with the girls.

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Come up with a list of questions to ask beforehand

While on a date, you’re bound to talk, and if your date isn’t shy like you, he’s bound to say a lot about himself. Create a list of questions that you can ask him, while answering them yourself. Consider asking what he does for a living, his favorite movie, where he grew up, and so on. But, the key here is to answer your own question as well!

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Turn your shyness into a positive

Though being shy does have its downfalls, shy women have some appealing qualities when compared to aggression. To some guys, a shy woman can be extremely hot, and they know that shy woman are much better listeners than most. Thoughtfulness and being a good observer are on your side.

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Tell him you’re shy

Letting him know upfront that you’re a little on the shy side can prevent hard feelings throughout the day. No one wants to sit through an awkward date when there’s an explanation to be had. This way, he’ll understand why you aren’t extremely talkative, and he’ll get why you’re more inclined to take things slowly.

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Smile!

When you’re shy and uncertain, it often shows on your face. Make your best effort to smile, when appropriate. Don’t sit with a fake grin on your face, but smile naturally. Smiles make everyone seem a lot friendlier.

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When you get quiet, pass the mic to him

There will come a time when you run out of things to say about a certain topic. Instead of sitting in awkward silence, give the mic over to him and let him talk. A simple “what about you?” can make for a long convo.

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Aim to look and feel your best

Women tend to be less shy when they are dressed in a way that makes them feel beautiful. For your date, dress up in an outfit that makes you eye yourself in the mirror. And don’t be afraid to gussy yourself up, just don’t overdo it and try to hide behind tons of makeup and big hair.

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Be yourself

If you’re shy, you’re shy, and you’ll have to accept that it’s who you are, and so will he. When you go on a date, there is no reason to put on a facade. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t — it’s never pretty.

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Accept compliments and reciprocate

Any guy is bound to compliment you on a date, especially if you’re looking your best. Even though you’re shy, take the compliment to heart. If he says you look nice, you really do look nice. At the same time, don’t be scared to shoot a compliment back at him.

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Don’t forget to breathe

Sounds silly, right? But when you’re on a date and you’re shy, you can forget the small things. If you feel yourself flushing or getting hot, breathe through it and take a second to compose yourself.

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Be mindful of your posture

No you don’t need to sit upright like there’s a ruler on your back and a string attached to your head, but make sure that you hold your head high so that you can make eye contact. Keeping your head low sends off all sorts of bad signals. Remember, shoulders back, chest out!

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Plan for the date to be in a familiar place

Having your first date in a place that is unfamiliar to you can make the experience that much worse. Give your date a list of locations that you’re open to visiting. This way you will feel much more at ease.

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Have outer confidence

Even if you’re a nervous wreck inside, you’ll want to show that you’re positive and confident on the outside. Your date will be much more into you if you look approachable and secure. Find what makes you feel confident and go for it.

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Consider going on a double-date the first time

Going on a double-date will make things a little less personal between you and the guy, but it’ll probably make you a lot more comfortable to have a friend close by that you can talk to without worry. Starting with a double-date lets you warm up to your own date so that when the next night out comes, it can be just the two of you.

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  • Candy

    Too shy, nervous and/or terrified to try dating ever again. 🙁

  • scandalous7

    This list made me even more nervous. Too much to think about

  • Papillon

    Most of these tips are for when you’ve already got a date, but where does a shy girl find a guy in the first place? I don’t do clubs or bars.

    • AnonyChick

      This.

    • Angel89

      I was thinking the same thing…putting yourself out there enough to get the date is the problem…like when a guy approaches you..what do you say to not seem awkward or come off as rude? Lol… that should’ve been the first tip

      • scandalous7

        right, just the other weekend,guys were mad at me because they said I was acting “brand new” or that Im “bougie”. No…im just shy, dont know what to say, and dont know how to not let it show on my face. Its not that i dont want to talk to you, its just that I cant. Im an awkward black girl. Its terrible

        • Angel89

          Lol I so feel your pain!

    • scandalous7

      thank you ok, thank you!..not that I want one or anything. Im terrified

    • Nope

      Try meeting people or going to dates at the places that you already like to do/frequent. That way you’ll naturally open up. The ‘clubs or bars’ aren’t the only public places with a lot of people, and not everyone goes there or up to a certain age or stage in life.
      A lot of people act as though these places that are only open for a few hours a few days a week are the only places to meet someone. But just about everyone does go to the grocery store, mall, other public places, etc.

  • Meyaka

    I like this Madame noire. 😉

  • &.

    these are tips everyone can use. especially the list of questions to ask your date ( could always make a game out of it.).