Do You Really “Do You” Or Are You Living Your Life To Impress Others?

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January 15, 2013 ‐ By Erica R. Williams

confident-woman

 

It’s become so cliché… (or corny…depending on who you ask) to utter the words “do you.” So many of us have proclaimed, “I’m going to do me” when it actuality seems that most people don’t. “Doing you” means that your life is consistent with how you feel with little regards to other’s opinions about you. It’s not arrogance or selfishness, but instead a sort of confidence that not everyone possesses…but most will swear that they do.

Are you one of those people who constantly live your life trying to impress others or seek validation? Maybe you are and you don’t know it. Then again, maybe you are one of those people who does so but just so happen to be in denial. How do you tell if you are living to impress others on the low-low? Here are seven subtle and not-so-subtle ways to tell.

1.    You Constantly Ask For Advice

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking others for their opinions on situations. However, there is something wrong with not consulting with yourself before soliciting an outside source. Sometimes good advice doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for you. If you find yourself consulting numerous friends, family members, or co-workers before thinking something over in your own head, you don’t trust yourself enough to live your own life and that’s a problem.

2.    You Make Decisions Based On Someone Else’s Life

You base how you should get a job on how your mentor got her gig. You think if you follow the same steps as your married best friend then you can get a ring too. Everyone has a different blueprint for his or her own life. What works for one person may not work for another. If you solely base your decision-making process on what others have done to get what you want, then you are definitely not ‘doing you.’

3.    When Deciding What To Wear, You Consider What Others Will Say About It

You want to wear a ‘onesie’ but you heard mostly everyone at the event will be wearing a dress. Will they think you’re dressed down? Or will they think you’re trying to show off? If you allow these thoughts to consume you every time you’re heading out to an event or social gathering or just out onto the streets in general, you may be thinking too hard about what others are thinking about you.

4.    You Think Way Too Long Before You Speak

We’ve all heard that you should think before you speak to avoid saying something that you will regret; but if you’re thinking way too long and replaying conversations that might happen between you and the other person before you open your mouth, you may need to trust yourself more.

Think before you speak means making sure you really mean what you’re saying and can deal with the repercussions of saying it. Sometimes people will like it, sometimes they won’t, but you can’t live your life wasting too much time trying to figure it out.

 5.     You Date Men That Can Make You Look Good To Others

He makes you laugh, but you think others may consider him corny. You’re physically attracted to him, but all your girls say you could do better. You allow all of these thoughts to shape your opinion of him.

Ultimately when in a relationship, all that matters is how the two people in the relationship feel about each other. If you’re only dating men that others approve of, you need to ‘do you’ before you’re forever single.

6.      You Choose A Career For The Title

Some people have allowed their jobs to define them. They choose careers that make them look more successful than they really are. Are you one of those people who hate your job but stick with it not only because of the money but also because of the title? Choosing a career based on finances is one thing, opting for a career simply because you think it will make you look good is another.

7.    You Will Spend Your Last To Look The Best

If you focus too much on looking the best and not YOUR best when you go out, then you need to ask yourself who you are seriously trying to impress. There is a big difference in trying to look good and feel good about yourself and comparing yourself to what others will be wearing or doing.

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  • IllyPhilly

    That is what a bunch of sad individuals do too.