Gold Diggers Vs. Sugar Mamas: How to Avoid Being Either And Find Balance

February 26, 2013 ‐ By Nadia Carmichael
Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Relationships can be tough. Realizing who to take that next step and build a lasting marriage with can be even tougher. We women want our prince charming and we want him to need us as much as we need him. And in this era, needs aren’t based around the emotional or physical so much as the cha-ching! I was at a get-together with a few of my girlfriends the other night and each of them made a list of the 5 things the man they’d marry needs to have: A good job and money were the top 2 things on each list.

Now let me be the first to say a woman should look for a goal-orientated man with something to offer, but I have to be honest, only three out of the seven friends who asked for this had a decent job/career of their own. The others? Well let’s just say they’re still trying to find themselves. Me, on the other hand, I’ve been on the opposite end of the spectrum, involved in more than one situation where my contribution to a man was way more than his contribution to me.

So where can we find the balance ladies? How can we look for prince charming without putting too much significance on his pockets? Or be an independent woman without playing someone’s mama? When we don’t want to be gold diggers (although it is important to have a man who can provide) and we don’t want to be sugar mamas (although we want to provide for the one we love as well), where can we find the happy medium? The balance all lies in building together, not what you came into the relationship with but what you  both plan to achieve in the union. Here are a few inspiring couples who show us just where the healthy balance lies:

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  • QueenOfLife

    Call me old fashion, but i believe a man’s role is to provide and protect. I dont feel like that is being a gold digger, because I feel that a woman should have her own should anything ever happen during the relationship, and to be able to hold things down should anything happen financially and you are able to keep yourself and your mate afloat. I dont mind presenting my man with nice gifts on occasions, and lawd knows I like to receive nice gifts as well (lol). During hard times, my man has taken care of me but there is NOTHING like having your own. What gal wants to wait around on a man when its time to pamper yourself week to week (I.e: Hair, nails, pedis, those cute shoes you saw at the mall lol), or handle your own personal bills? Nothing wrong with being spoiled sometimes, but please have your own!!

  • Reese

    If I’m giving more than I’m receiving, that is a problem. I want my man to spend money on me but definitely not super lavishly because the more a man gives the more he wants in return.

  • sabrina

    Black love <3

  • Feather

    When did a housewife become tricking..PLEASE!!!

  • jenni

    Just for men “Hair Color is call you “Gregg Leakes”.

  • Me

    I like reading about the different couples, but I feel this article should have addressed this new trend of women tricking on men. Then when I meet a man, he thinks I should do this or that for him. Sorry, boo. And while white girls def trick, sistas have also started this nonsense and it needs to stop!