To Like Or Not To Like: Should Committed Men Be Able To Find Other Women Attractive?

January 14, 2013  |  

Credit: Shutterstock

From Single Black Male

Last week, I wrote a post on 10 Tips Happily Married Men gave me on marriage. Of those 10 tips, only one received any significant amount of push back from mostly women readers. That was the following tip:

Accept that other women are still attractive. This theme came up a few times. You’re beautiful and he loves you, BUT there are other women in the world he might, from time to time, find attractive. A quote from one friend sums it up best, “space is #1, a good wife isn’t smothering, she’s confident enough to let her man hit the streets and follow Draya on Instagram.”

Let’s be clear, these men weren’t advocating for letting your husband blatantly disrespect you by actively pursuing other women on social media or beyond. Still, you should be confident and trustworthy enough to know that just because he “LIKES” a picture on Facebook/Instagram or RTs some cute woman on Twitter, doesn’t mean he’s secretly plotting to run off with that woman the second you turn your back.


Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • KG

    Ofcourse he ain’t blind or brain dead. U cant help who u find attractive. Sorry this is a dumb question.

  • Pivyque

    Is this a joke? lol Everyone is going to find more than one person attractive. I think T.I is the cutest. At any rate, I have heard people making a big deal out of liking pics so that makes me happy that we only have Facebook pages that are rarely used.

  • eb

    At the end of the day a man going to be a man as long as he respects me and our relationship i dont care if he looks just as ill look at other men its human nature. And what about females that are attracted to other women as well? Im sure there still respect but there some women who will look right along w their man and have a conversation with them but to each its own.

    • Miyako

      The saying that ‘a man is going to be a man’ = Even though I don’t agree with his behavior, he is a man and can’t help himself.

  • Miyako


  • Meyaka

    Absolutely,my husband is a man. Of course he finds other women attractive as I find other men attractive. That’s where it stops however,we don’t flirt ,we have secret social networks account to flirt,we don’t have opposite sex friends we spend all our time with,we just don’t do that bull. Women and men have let their significant others get away with so much,there is no boundaries ,that’s why everyone is frustrated. Respect,that’s what it comes down to.

    • littleoleme

      Real talk

    • Miyako

      “Absolutely,my husband is a man.” Because a husband could also be a woman.

      • Meyaka

        Omg,you are soooooo funny.

  • OSHH

    Some actions are just inappropriate and have nothing to do with how confident you are as a person/woman or man. Of course people will find others attractive but that is where it should be left , some actions just invite discord/trouble/temptation etc