What Am I Supposed To Do? My Husband And I Haven’t Had Sex In Two Years

January 11, 2013  |  
Source: Shutterstock

From Essence

Q: “I am 39-years-old and on my second marriage. My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. We both put on extreme amounts of weight, and I just joined the gym again this week. I feel like my husband blames me for the weight gain and thinks it’s the reason he is bigger and why we don’t have sex. I hate how I look, and I am not physically attracted to him either. I love him, but if we divorced, I know I would survive. How do I stay motivated to go to the gym and get the zing back in my marriage?”

See what celebrity psychologist Sherry Blake has to say about this couple’s situation on Essence.com.

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  • Is It 5:00 Yet?

    Marriage is suppose to be for better or for worse…THICK and thin.

    • Kenedy

      Ha! I see what you did there

  • Home girl needs to first find out what emotions she is trying to stuff down with food. You don’t just eat yourself into obesity unless you have a lot emotionally going. Who in the heck let’s two years go by before addressing the issue though?

  • Brian2234

    STRATEGY is; A style of thinking, a conscious and
    deliberate process, an intensive implementation system, the science of
    insuring FUTURE SUCCESS.

  • The weight gain isn’t what stopped you from having sex. The problem is, the “real love” is gone. You must learn how to rekindle what was in your heart at the beginning of your relationship. When a man and woman really love each other, weight, loss of a limb, or any illness cannot end that love. Love is the only thing that will make ANY relationship last. There will come a time when your teeth may be in a glass next to the bed, your hair may fall all out and your belly and butt may get big. Will you still love each other when that happens? Outer appearance cannot control your entire relationship. Yes, it can affect the spice at times. But, it should not control your entire relationship.

    • Meyaka

      That’s all. I couldn’t have said it better.

    • KIR12

      You can love someone and not be attracted to them. Old and fat is a bad combination. lol Sorry but no man wants to go to work everyday and come home to a woman who looks like Rosanne, Rasputia or Sofia from the Color Purple.

      • angie

        not true..there are plenty of men who love big women…puzzy don’t have no face…or weight for that matter…

        • KIR12

          Are we talking about being attracted to and marriage or a botty call? Also That weight looks horrible three older you get. Go look at pictures of Rasputia. lol

    • TeahMonae

      Thats true, but love and attraction are two totally different things. They can still love one another without being attracted to each other.