[Extended Cut] I Always Wanted To Ask… Are Black Women Jealous Of White Women?

January 9, 2013  |  


Yesterday we unveiled our new series “I Always Wanted To Ask,” which garnered a lot of mixed reviews. Most people stopped dead in their tracks at the thought of being questioned about being jealous of a white woman but there was a lot of dialogue you missed between Madame Noire and the ladies of The Frisky.

Check out the extended cut of episode 1 in which we talk about interracial dating from the perspective of those who’ve actually had that experience. Watch as we delve into everything from assumed stank eyes, exoticism, and sexual myths about not just Black and White women, but also Black and White men. Enjoy!



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  • Marina Calis

    Nope! I am not jealous of a white woman in the least….as a matter of fact I feel a white women could never equal up to me.

  • @dj_toney_b

    I HAVE READ MANY OF THE COMMENTS…… but I love worship and adore Black Women, as a SBM on a few dating sites, I must say that more WW contact me than BW and a Good man that is Faithful and Loyal (and not ugly w/job/house/car) and NO Baby Mama Drama is Not gonna wait forever for love when it is knocking at his door.

    We all wanna be loved and feel wanted and cared for, but so many BW have a chip on their shoulder because of what a bad man did to her, we have all had bad situations at one time or another in a relationship throughout our lives, yes they hurt badly and cut even deeper. I don’t put WW on a pedestal but I do allow SOMEONE that like me for me and loves me for me into my life to see if it can grow into much more as love should be, dating a BW is a slight difference than dating a BW because subtle things that BW know about a BM where with (some NOT all) WW it’s more trial & error and trying to embrace the things the mainstream media and or music has made us out to liken or indulge in-we are both entering into something new to us both in many times and explore the facets of but cultures and ways and all the while sharing uncharted territory were neither one of us has been before.

    Many BW believe that WW give BM a pass to do what he wanna do and she just deal wit’ it, sure some do but many do not and yes I have met several that have approached me online that want to EXPERIENCE… “Nuff Said! But I have been down that road of walking in the restaurant and gettin’ that “No The F____ He Didn’t” roll up in here with dat WW and if LOOKS could KILL as they say….. you know the rest. I have also been on the other side of the spectrum out with a WW, where it’s a WM and he looking at me with the what the F is he doing out with that beautiful WW-yeah those looks cut deep too… but not to worry cause if you do see me out with a WW, those BW I spoke of WILL NOT get the chance to say “Damn, where he find her at in backwoods trailer park, cause they will be ready to launch a few missiles your way. I want the woman that wants me bottom line and if you have your standards sooo freaking high or you want Hollyweird kinda BM-DO YOU!

  • @Brier_Rose:disqus is that “thirsty ,angry , sad woman Who is jealous to see and entertains why white women think us black women are jealous. Sit down sister and work on yourself!

  • I love the dialogue shared. I’ve always wanted to have conversations like this with my friends, but we’re not that worldly to give much conviction to many subjects. So thank you and good job!!

  • scandalous7

    this was a really good discussion. I enjoyed it

  • whyarentyoulisteningtoHim

    To the Hebrews: In all the nations that we have been scattered to because we sinned against the Most High God by turning away from him and worshiping false gods, disobeying his commandments, statutes and judgments-WAKE UP!!.

    Read your family history The Holy Bible. Never, ever be jealous of a leper, never desire to marry or procreate with them. Read your family history. It is time to wake up and return to our God. The God of our fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Blessed be the Lord God of Israel forever. Amen.

  • Crystal

    I have not read any of the comments, so please forgive me if this has already been written, but I LOVE that you did this. I love the fact that this video is showing a group of black and white women having an open and honest discussion with each other about each other. Long over due and very welcomed. Thank you!!!

  • LT

    So I’m curious to know if African-American men think that dating African women is exotic as dating a Latina, Caucasian, Asian, Middle-Eastern etc. women. For those who date interracially would you prefer an African woman as opposed to an African-American woman? Just curious to know what some of you think.

  • Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom; and with all thy getting, get understanding.

  • love

    I have non black friends who date black men, but it’s usually a sorry black man. One of my white friends was tired of being disrespected by black men and then decided to date her own kind. I’ve dated few black men, married and divorced a black man, who does not find white women attractive. He went and found himself another black woman. She’s dark with nappy, natural hair, just like me. I’m sorry I don’t care what black men think of me. I am currently married to a white man. I didn’t do that on purpose. Not many black people where I moved to.

    The notion that no man wants a black women is the biggest internet lie .My life experience tells a different story. Ladies if you look good, smell good and you got a great attitude, any man of any race is going to dig you, Also….my white friend once confessed to me while she was drunk that she and some other white women she knows are secretly jealous of black women because we age so well. She’s right. My best friend since 10th grade, same age. We’re 44. She looks a whole lot older than me and it makes her feel bad about herself, so she’s considering botox. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

    • Brier_Rose

      “if you look good, smell good…any man of any race is going to dig you”
      There is a certain Shakespearean poem, that I would love for you to read, about The Bard’s mistress. You might learn something.

  • traystacio

    why yall gotta regulate on a brotha!modulate regulate whateva.anyway like i said in my other comment. they set themselves up for a “duh” when they had a panel of fat black women and skinny white women. my wife (black and darkskinned) is fine! i just don’t like the huskies pittle tattin my way.

  • Janae

    Thank you!

  • Darren

    i dont remember how i got to this website but hey not bad…i dont really know what to say, being a black man, I have dated pretty much every race…I know black women (not all) like to say oh he’s dating a white girl because of “this or that”, or white women (not all) like to say oh I’m dating him because hes “this or that” from my experiences I don’t see what the whole issue is, if someone wants to date outside their race by all means let them. As a black man I feel as if ther is this big spotlight on us with a caption “WHY IS THIS BLACK GUY DATING A WHITE WOMAN?” people rarely talk about white guy dating asian girl, or latino man with black woman…I guess my first issue is why are we the ones who always get critisized and judge on our intentions. I know the answer already, black guys usually get dished around in the media like toys to 2 year old…we can try to change peoples perceptions about us but no matter what there is still that subconcious thought that lingers in their minds. I’m currently dating a white woman, but my past relationship was with a black woman (whom I loved very much)…my first girlfriend was latina, and I’ve been with asian woman before (eastern and south-eastern) the truth is after all that, the black woman was the longest relationship I’ve had with a woman, and we still talk every now and then. The point I’m trying to make is that there are so many reasons and intentions that someone may have for dating someone but no matter what you always need to remember that a mature person puts those assumptions aside and does not act on them, simply because the “media” reinforces that idea. Think for yourselves people, sometimes people just love each other because they simply just love each other. However, I understand where these women are coming from in what they say…hell I’ve even heard comments from black men that are usually the same, “oh I’m gonna date a white woman because their better” know what I realized? they were all uneducated…words speak profoundly on a person’s education level and thus influences their actions, some people just need to get educated and get a life…oh and i just remembered how some people like to say that educated men do only like to go for white women, piss off…lok at Barak Obama, and Bob Johnson (yes, the BET founder…and I’m speaking when he was with his ex-wife) lol.

    • Edith A.

      Darren, please.

    • Brier_Rose

      “Better” is in the eye of the beholder, my dear. You don’t know another person’s criteria that makes one potential mate “better” or “worse” than another.

  • chanela

    i’ve always wondered if white women are aware of how desired they are by every minority in the world and if they know that their lives are easier and that they will never ever ever ever be profiled…. some do. i’ve seen on a few black websites, white women saying things like ” nobody likes black women. everybody wants to get a white girl. stay hating ect. smh

  • 76 out 100 black men marry black women. Wouldnt that number dictate that black men put BLACK WOMEN on the pedestal? 85-90 out of 100 black men with college degrees marry black women. (the numbers can be found by a little homework on the US Census website) Wouldnt that mean that brothas with money are actually marrying sistas alot more than any other ethnic make up? With numbers being given and mathematical logic presented wouldnt it TECHNICALLY mean that black women are easier to get by black men than any other ethnic make up? smh @ this article These articles are doing nothing more than making our black queens and princesses look foolish. They are debating off of anger, lies and propaganda and not doing the homework to find actual numbers. Stats dont lie. Us black men STILL hold our black women in high regards when it comes to interpersonal relationships. We arent going anywhere and we arent letting yall go anywhere.

    • Brier_Rose

      “…than any other ethnic make up…”

      Most Americans have more than one “ethnicity” (to use YOUR word) in their genetic make-up.

      Marriages are not the norm in the U.S. today, in people of ANY color of skin.

      “…our black queens and princesses…” Possessive or anything? And, there is a higher percentage of nobility in Europe than in Africa and America combined. Even as for people who BEHAVE nobly, regardless of lineage, it is highly unlikely that the balance in the United States would favor black women. Most so-called black “queens and princesses” are very catty, rude, and mean. In general, the MORE catty, MORE rude, and MEANER the black woman is, the MORE HIGHLY her black boyfriend thinks of her. There’s a very bad pattern of men encouraging, promoting bad behavior in women…especially in black couples. Unfortunately, white people so often have so-called “racial-guilt” that they feel it’s not up to them to intervene or bring a bullying episode to a halt.
      This is not “debating;” this forum arrangement is set up in such a way that it amounts to arguing, which is NOT the same thing.

      • Janae

        You have issues!

        • Brier_Rose

          My “issue” is with these mindless pigs running around in human bodies, trying to fit into human society, thinking you know what goes on in anybody else’s head.
          I stated FACTS above, and you down-voted me, most-likely because you do not want to be bothered with the FACTS or with the TRUTH. You are the kind of garbage that blows-off worthwhile arguments with crap like “Whatever.”

          • Seriously Brier_Rose..jump off this site and Google “HELP”

            • Brier_Rose

              Google is run/owned by a close crony of our narcissist-in-chief. I don’t use it anymore. And quite frankly, you think anybody would ever do a search on a word so vague as “HELP”? The fact that it is ONE word that belongs to TWO different parts-of-speech aside, you give incredibly lame advise. Go back to sucking your cancer-sticks, “Tarbox.”

              • Wow did u really just make fun of my last name?? cancer sticks?? Yeah u a simple basic mofo …my name is TARBOX aka HOTBOX u Troll!!! So u saying GOOGLE the enemy too??

          • Your “FACTS” are embarrassing, ignorant and sad .

  • Nikki

    When I asked some black men why they only date white women, they told me it’s because white women don’t nag as much and because they are more freaky in the bedroom.

  • Nikki

    When I asked some black men why they only date white women, they told me it’s because white women don’t nag as much and because they are more freaky in the bedroom.

    • Ann

      I believe that. They don’t want to hear some black women nag. Some times they don’t want to hear our mouth all the time. Just say what you need to say in a nice way and leave it alone and degrade or cuss the man when he honestly and sincerely makes mistake.

  • Madame Noire..I know you mean well but please stop with segments like theses til we build some black females self esteem up. Until some of us learn not to worry about what “HE or SHE” doing …but some are confused, anger and thirsty …they will never be satisfied.Once (IF THEY EVER) see and take care of their issues …this simple subject wouldn’t even be a problem. Rise up Ladies!

    • Brier_Rose

      “simple” subject?
      It’s racism, you ignoramus.

      • Yes “simple”! IGNORAMUS? Seriously??? Sorry if some of us live life instead of judging how the next man gets off. I feel sorry for your mama and I pray this post helps you.

        • Brier_Rose

          I feel sorry for YOU. YOUR “mama” did a miserable job of raising you. I live my life just fine, and I don’t see you coming down on any of the other judgmental people on here. Each of you is every bit as bad as me OR WORSE, and NONE of you has the wonderful, beautiful gifts that I have. Nor do you have the love of a man as wonderful, loving, and AMAZING as mine is.

          Try praying for those you might actually STAND A CHANCE of helping. Like TJX and Fingerhut!

        • Brier_Rose

          You are so pathetic! And yes, an ignoramus. I live life just beautifully; thank you. YOU’RE full of irritable judgment, though. If you want to help me, wake up, grow up, and stop being such a racist. You’ll help the whole world by changing your attitudes!

  • dddooonnnttt

    you must be a man because all youre worried about is whos giving up butt. dont discount the idea that youve missed the mark entirely with this one..

    • UdonNo

      that IS the point of the article– why black men go after white women…

  • Yes sir! You just killed it…thetruth.com..as a black female i am not inferior nor 2nd to who anybody else chooses to date. Unlike my “sisters” worrying bout who HE with…I get mines!!

  • Jane Doe

    White women are jealous of black women. Black women are gorgeous and white men are no longer afraid of wifing a black women.

    • traystacio

      im jealous of black women too. i got a wife and i wear her clothes when she aint there. she went to her mama house for thanksgiving and i stayed at home and glued some of her weave in my head. i had to shave to take it out. she still don’t know till this day. i was lookin good tho with that indian remi #1B

  • frommymouth2urears

    Can the next question they ask be about why white woman always want to touch our hair? Or why they need to know if we are wearing weave? Im just asking…

    • bvictorian

      Yup, we’re going to touch on that in an upcoming segment.

    • Nikki

      Maybe I’m sensitive, but I hate when people ask if that’s my real hair.

    • Nikki

      Maybe I’m sensitive, but I hate when people ask if that’s my real hair.

    • Brier_Rose

      Normal women share their beauty secrets. It’s only the ghetto girls (regardless of skin color) who refuse to reveal their beauty secrets. Maybe it was that these white women are asking about how you did your hair in an effort to extend of a hand of friendship. Ever consider those things? And, no, white women do not “always” want to touch black women’s hair. Many of the styling products black women use on their hair are very oily and very stinky. (I have a blind friend who told me it rather nauseates him.) I guarantee you, women with that stuff in their hair do not get asked if other people can touch it. If a white woman asks you if she can touch your hair, it is because she loves your hair’s texture, and the fact that it stands up without any product in it, and she is amazed at that.

      • Rochelle

        I’m not amazed at her hair why should she be so “amazed” at mine? I’m not a zoo exhibit

  • KIR12

    I’ve said it a thousand times. Black women who have a problem with interracial dating of a man they don’t even know are the same women who were complaing 2 or 3 years ago about BLACK light skin women. This issue really isn’t about black men. If there were no white/light black women they’d be complaing about something else. It’s about their loser, victim, entitlement mentality that deflects blame away from themselves as to why they don’t have a man or aren’t completely happy with the man they have. They want to be that white, nonblack or light skin BLACK woman!

    A lot of the dark woman complaints come from over 30, overweight, baby mamas many with other issues …. attitude, education, ect. who happens to also be dark. The truth is YOUNG dark friendly, average to attractive, physically fit women don’t have a problem getting a “good” man. Don’t worry about what the uneducated, fat white/light/bright baby mamma is doing/able to do. Play your own hand and don’t hold your hand too long. Find your husband while you’re still young at your physical peak and have the most (man) options. You’ll win every time.

    FYI, JMO but the older you get the less attractive all that weight looks (aka Rasputia or Sofia in Color Purple).

    • dddooonnnttt

      Have a seat please.

      • Guestest

        A whole damn stadium Lol

    • Brier_Rose

      “uneducated, fat white/light/bright baby mamma”
      YOU are a genuinely BAD person. I could go into a LOT of detail about what a prejudiced, bigoted, assuming, presuming person you are, based solely on your [immediately] above post, but the creators of this forum have a problem with posts over 200 words, so maybe I’ll meet you in-person, and I’ll just tell you then.

      • wow!!!It keeps coming around to your simple as*…i dont know what it is but u entertain me more then the posts…either your under 18 and dont know better or over 18 and just plain stupid and sad. Either way keep it up cause you are funny!

        • Brier_Rose

          Wow, Tarbox, you are clueless! You know so little about intelligence, your ignorance fills the Universe. I’m in my 30s, and have you ever considered what is far MORE likely: that I am just WISER than you? (And, that I, for one, can SPELL simple words properly, and I also know how to use a comma!)

  • Janae

    You really need to seek help if it still bothers you to see black men with white women. If you actually think that these white women care about your sad black girl story, you are very naive. I guarantee you they went somewhere laughed and told their other white girlfriends. How embarassing this conversation. It looks like the black women are obsessed with the white women. The white women just want to be humored. Anything for hits.

    • JustForDecoration

      And you are one of those hits…

    • maggie

      Your response to this seems to have an impression that black women seek validation from white women. I guess that is your perspective but I don’t think that was the aim of this discussion. All of the residuals of race relations manifest too in black women’s uncomfortability with black men dating white women. A lot of black men date white women while degrading, putting down black women while putting white women on a pedestal. That needs to be addressed and changed.

      • kierah

        Address and change it with Black men. Why address it with White women?

        • Guest360

          Why not? If anyone actually saw the video (I’m starting to think some of the people who are commenting didn’t really do that lol), it was actually a WHITE woman who asked are black women jealous of white women and a few black women responded to it. The series is between black and white women and shedding light on issues we may or may not have with each other. Thats the whole point lol

          • JustForDecoration


          • Brier_Rose

            Why do you laugh at such inappropriate times? Are you just nervous, just psychotic, or a hyena?

      • JoAnn

        I have to agree unfortunately. Black men do put down black women and put white women on a pedestal as if they have no wrong doing. Everything is catered around white women and black men seem as” if they just drop everything for them”. To me it acceptable for black men to date white women who don’t know nothing, uneducated, unattractive, have a foul mouth, do drugs, get sloppy drunk, fight, be gold diggers and they don’t have a problem with it. But black women, they seem to think all of us are gold diggers, like to argue, angry and bitter all the time, very disrespectful. They talk out of both sides of their mouth saying how they love black women but don’t want to marry or date one. It is a shame that one black woman experience and they are done. There is nothing wrong with dating outside your race, but don’t put white women on a pedestal as if they are so perfect and don’t have flaws or does anything wrong. I used to have a coworker who father dates white women and if you say something bad about them, he gets very upset and defends them. Mind you the woman he dates is white, and she takes all his check when he gets paid. He does not see her any more until pay day.

        • chanela

          honeyyy i’ve heard 2 mexican women and 1 white woman talk about how their black boyfriends discuss the reason for dating them as being 1.black women are loud 2.black women have nappy hair 3.black women don’t wear their real hair and 4. black women are too overweight (btw all 3 women were overweight themselves) SMH they told me that this is what their boyfriends said and they seemed a little flattered 0 _ o

      • Janae

        No I know that black women DONT seek validation from white women and that is why I am so pissed off. And with regard to black men putting white women on a pedestal while putting black women down…so what? It is not going to change. Most white women enjoy that and are party to it. So I think that it is ridiculous that these black girls sat down with white women and gave them these sob stories like they actually cared. Then these white girls think that all of us feel that way. I dont care to ask them any questions about how they feel about me. I dont care. I dont care about their relationships with black men. That one girl with the braids was the cutest one up there and she is sitting up there seeking validation from some white girls who a lot of white guys would probably consider average at best. She only made herself look inferior while blowing up their heads.
        I know that little secret about girls that they could be considered average or below average among white men but as soon as they are around minority men their status rises to queen or princess. A white woman wrote about it years ago. I have to find the article and post it.

        • dddooonnnttt

          omg. lol, i would love to see that article, and I completely agree with everything you said`!

        • Brier_Rose

          Jenae, you are hypocritical gutter-trash. You know NOTHING about what men think, what “they” consider beautiful, and you know nothing about white women. You are a catty little piece of racism in a human body. Good freakin’ luck getting ANY man to love you!

          • Janae

            And your comments further approve my suggestion that you have issues. Seek help!

            • Janae

              further prove

              • Brier_Rose

                You still need to go back to school. And, it wasn’t a suggestion; it was an accusation. There’s a difference. You have not proven anything bad about me; you have, in fact, only proven your own ignorance. Nice going, putz.

            • Brier_Rose

              That’s more than a typo; it’s signature, ghetto-bad English. You don’t know anything about me. Mind your own business, and go back to school; take an ESL class!

      • Brier_Rose

        You are just as much a racist as AmyFinehouse. The fact that any man would degrade women is terrible, and while we’re discussing it, any woman degrading men is terrible, too!

  • Guest360

    I can’t wait to see more episodes. Best idea ever 🙂

  • AmyFinehouse

    I think this black and white women question & answer is a brilliant idea! Being able to ask all those risque questions without judgement, sugarcoating, or drama 🙂 I’m so looking forward to future episodes !!

    • Brier_Rose

      Panel debates are a joke. Nobody speaks FOR me; I represent MYSELF.