Sooo You’re Still Texting Her? Signs Your New Man Is Not Over His Ex

January 9, 2013  |  
1 of 15

Nobody likes to admit when they’re not over their ex. In fact, people will insist they are over their ex by collecting evidence, facts, and photos like a court case to say, “SEE! I don’t care about him/her anymore!” which only makes you think they’re definitely not over them. So if you’re wondering if the guy you’re currently seeing is holding onto some feelings for the woman before you, you’ll have to do some research of your own. Here are signs to look out for.

The Facebook photos are still up

It’s true that it’s painful to take down all those happy, smiling photos of you and an ex. But to be clear: it’s only really painful when you’re still not over the person. So, if your guy still has all those cuddly/vacation albums up of him and his last girlfriend, that’s because clicking that delete button feels like a dagger to his heart.


He finds reasons to talk to her

He needs to ask her what the name of a restaurant is they went to, so he can take you, or he needs to pass on a message to her from a common friend. But Yelp exists for a reason, so you can look up your own restaurants, and that common friend has Facebook. They can pass on the message themselves. Someone who is truly over his ex thinks of excuses not to talk to her, not to talk to her.


He speaks poorly of her a lot

He still vents about her, or goes off on long monologues about all the ways she wronged him. But where there is still pain, there are still feelings. His memories of her have not yet turned into calm lessons, but are still very present and real.


He talks poorly of her new boyfriend

There are only two reasons for a guy to trash talk his ex’s new guy: 1) To make himself feel better (in which case, the woman he is currently seeing does not give him enough of a confidence boost i.e. he is still into his ex) or 2) He cares so much about her, he wants to only see her with the best (in which case, he is still into her again). He shouldn’t care that much about her happiness anymore.


He knows who her new boyfriend is

Why does he even know who his ex is dating now in the first place? The only way he could know is by asking her directly—meaning they are still speaking so he probably still has feelings for her—or he went through the trouble of stalking her Facebook/asking common friends.


His friends haven’t heard of you

If his friends look dumbfounded when you come along it’s because all the time your guy should have been gloating about you to his buddies, he was instead still venting about his ex.

He’s doing everything she hated

He’s eating junk food, drinking more, sleeping late, and doing it all with a vengeful look on his face as he says, “Now that my ex isn’t around, I can do whatever I want!” Trying to spite someone, and trying to impress someone, dance along the same fine line. And both mean you still care what a person thinks about you.


Everything is a reason to bring her up

Every movie, thing you eat, place you go,  and friend you see is reason for your guy to bring up a story or fact about his ex. She’s on his brain.


He’s dazed and confused after bumping into her

After your guy has a run in with his ex he is distant, depressed and in his own world. That should be sign enough he still has feelings for her. He can’t even run into her without losing his senses!


He won’t delete her number

And he has dumb excuses why he needs to keep it, like “She’s an emergency contact in my phone” or “She has all the numbers of our old plumbers and handymen.” A man that was over his ex would update that emergency contact, and find a new plumber.

He’s blocked her in every medium

Facebook, email, Twitter, phone—he’s made it so that he has absolutely no way of contacting her, and visa versa. Distancing oneself is important, but if a guy feels the need to put up an iron wall between him and the ex, it’s because he has no self-control in terms of contacting her. That wall isn’t for her; it’s for him.



He can’t do anything that reminds him of her

He refuses to go to the restaurant they used to eat at together, he slams the radio off when a song comes on she would always sing, he’s stopped jogging because that’s what they used to do together. If so many activities are still associated with her, he’s not over her.


He’s listening to emotional music

What’s his music selection like? Is he jamming out in his room, listening to upbeat electronic, or at least some happy, laid back music? Or could his music be the soundtrack to a drama and/or crime thriller? If it’s the latter, he’s working out some deep pain.

He’s kept her things

There is absolutely no reason for her things to still be in his home. Perhaps he’s kept some of the gifts she gave him—fine. But why does he need her scarf? Her jar of lotion? There’s only one explanation: so he can delude himself into feeling that she is still in his life.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • I’mOnHereWayTooMuch

    I stopped reading at “Hes blocked her on every social network…” My boyfriend of 2 years REFUSES to block ANYONE. His exes list him as their “husband” in their “About Me’s” just to get under each others skin, they comment on all his profiles, pictures. They go as far as saying “Cuddling on the couch watching movies with my bae. So in love!” when hes sitting right next to me!… Some of them are outright crazy, and he refuses to block any of them or do anything but ignore them. The only person he ISNT friends with is ME! I WISH him actually blocking people was my reason to be suspicious.

    Blocking exes is a sign of moving on. They are no longer a part of your life, you dont need them sharing in your day-to-day activities. They are now irrelevant. You arent dating, and you dont need to be friends, so you delete them.This list is bogus.

  • Moody

    This is one of the worst things to be on the receiving end of. It’s totally humiliating which I choose to no longer deal with the person who is not over his ex.

  • yeppers

    I didnt go through 12 pages of a list….however from the title alone i can tell u i COMPLETELY understand. I dont play this mess. I was recently approached by a man who wanted to start talking to me, but i started noticing that he KEPT his exes around him CONSTANTLY….and they were all FRIENDS!?!?!?! (all the girls with eachother) I guess thats how they do things in LA….Im from the south, so a man hanging out and going places with his EX when he is supposedly seeing someone else is unheard of and car windows will get busted out for this. But these chicks hang around him like vultures waiting to flirt and hang out, and he jumps from dating one to the next like they waiting in line….I saw 1 week of this foolishness and was like OH HELL NAW!!!!!! I aint about this life at all….Ill slap somebody, let me go ret now fore i catch a case.


    This list is redundant!!!
    The Dept of Redundant Dept.