Trust Your Gut, Girl: How Heavily Do You Rely On Your Intuition When It Comes To Dating And Relationships?

January 4, 2013  |  

Anytime a man that I was seeing was up to no good or the relationship was about to go south for whatever reason, I always knew it before I really knew it. Call it discernment. Call it women’s intuition, but prior to stumbling across inappropriate text messages, questionable photographs or a dude who straight up starts acting brand new, there’s always a silent alarm that goes off inside of my heart. A very light impression on my conscience that tells me something isn’t right. I like to call it God giving his daughter a heads up on the trouble that lies ahead.

In the majority of instances where I had these unsettling feelings, instead of acknowledging or taking heed to said feelings, I second guess myself and even attempt to reason my way out of them. “Jaz, you’re being too sensitive,” or “There you go over-thinking everything again,” I tell myself. However, it never took long for me to have to stare the turbulence, which my “intuition” had forewarned me of, in the face.

One of my favorite television shows is ABC’s Scandal. Although Olivia Pope is a fictional character, I love the confidence that she has in her gut instincts. “Women’s intuition” may seem like some mythical ability that should not be utilized in making big decisions, but it is certainly something that should not be ignored.

In an article entitled Women’s Intuition: Myth or Reality? Dr. Ronald E. Riggio explores this special “ability” that women have to “discern others’ feelings and what they are thinking.” He suggests that this “intuition” comes as a result of our heightened nonverbal communication skills.

“Research on nonverbal communication skill has clearly shown that women are, as a group, better at reading facial expressions of emotions than are men. As a result, women are more likely to pick up on the subtle emotional messages being sent by others.”

“There is also evidence that women are seen as more empathic than men, and that they are more likely to see themselves as empathic. In other words, women tend to be more “open” to others’ emotional messages. This may add to the perception that women have some special ability to intuit what others are feeling or thinking.”

I’m sure none of us need a psychologist to tell us this, but it is reassuring that there is psychological research that confirms the intense intuitive feelings that we sometimes experience for reasons that we can’t always explain. Do I suggest acting before you get the facts regarding a situation? No, but I believe those feelings are there for a reason and should not be completely ignored. What I do suggest is the next time you are dealing with these intense but unexplainable feelings, take some time to briefly step back from the situation so that you can see the full picture. The best comparison to this type of situation is when you are looking at a painting. If you are standing so close to the painting that your face is nearly touching it, then you are too close to see the entire painting and you’re only seeing a portion of it. But, if you take a few steps back, you will be able to see the entire thing and make your judgements from there.

There’s nothing wrong with reflecting on intuitive feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy. It doesn’t make you paranoid. You’re simply sharpening another skill.

What about you? Are you a person who frequently relies on her intuition or do you commonly override it and think you’re overreacting?

Follow Jazmine Denise on Twitter @jazminedenise

All photos are courtesy of Shutterstock


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  • I was always considered “crazy” because I act on instinct instead of thinking things thru….in the end every time my gut kicked me in the face I was dead on, but whenever I ignored my but and thunk things thru I always ended up hurt, embarrassed and alone. There r some men out there who r wonderful but there r too many who play mind games and think they’re gods gift to women kind. Personally I believe it’s womens fault for allowing the foolishness too happen. What we allow is what will continue….

  • That intuition is nothing to play around with, and I do believe that it is (one of) God’s gifts to women. If something feels…off, it probably is, and we shouldn’t ignore it or try to pass it off as paranoia. I feel that if we as women listened to our intuition more often, and acted on it, it would save us from a lot of problems. Sometimes we can’t verbalize why we feel the way we do, but as i said, if that feeling is there, we shouldn’t pass it over.

  • sabrina

    I definitely use my intuition when meeting and dating guys. There was one time when I immediately sensed that a particular guy would be the controlling and abusive type before even getting to know him, and I made sure that I did not entertain this dude any longer.

    Slightly off topic, but I remember reading somewhere in a magazine that women tend to ignore their intuition before they unknowingly enter into dangerous situations (being raped, robbed, attacked, etc.) Alwayssssss listen to your gut, ladies.

  • Just Peachy!

    Sometimes things can be going great and you get that “feeling”, pay attention it’s not always obvious but something is amiss. I also want to add that the same can apply to all relationships, (friends, co-workers, even family members & new people that may come into your life).


    “There’s a special place in hell for men who convince women their intuition is insecurity to protect their duplicity. ”

  • GalaxyEmpress

    Yes, relying on intuition is critical!! If I had listened to my intuition I could have saved myself from heartbreak, shame, and humiliation. I can think of two different situations in which I went against my higher self for a man, thinking it would work and I was just being crazy and paranoid. In both cases, it was like a living nightmare but that was my fault because I shouldn’t have disobeyed myself. There are some really evil people in this world who pretend to be good, loving and caring just so they can close in on you and bring you down mentally, emotionally, physical and psychologically. Intuition will most certainly help in weeding out the trolls before they are able to do damage and wreak havoc in your life.