“The Best Way To Get A Ring Is A Closed Mouth.” RHOA Episode 8 Recap

December 24, 2012  |  
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Source: Bravo

For all the things Kenya Moore makes you want to call her when you watch her on the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” — namely crazy — I have to say last night’s episode changed my opinion of her just a bit. Honestly, I may have even felt just a tad bit sorry for her (I know, I know!), and inclined to do a little background check on Walter. After seeing how things when down last night, I’m not sure if he’s the one that got bamboozled by Kenya or if he’s bamboozling us. Check out the highlights and see why.

Kenya thinks she opened doors for somebody

OK so this was the part of the show when she was still crazy. You know how in “Barbershop” Cedric the Entertainer joked that Rosa Parks didn’t do nothin’ but sit her a** down. Similarly, I’d like to tell Keyna, you didn’t do nothin’ but walk across the stage in a two-piece and smile.

This woman keeps going on and on and on about being a part of history, but I don’t know anyone who remembers her pageant win over the seductive temptress roles she’s gone on to play in every single movie over the years. Yet, she keeps trying to stuff down everyone’s throats that she has somehow opened doors for black women everywhere. Honey, Carole Gist, the first African American to win the Miss USA titled opened the door in 1990. You just kept it pried open.

Kandi and Nene have a moment

For a second there, a very brief one, Nene and Kandi showed successful black women can uplift each other. The two had a random heart-to-heart, bonding over Porsha and Kenya’s foolywanging when out of nowhere Nene asked Kandi why she has a problem with her and then turned around and gave the Bedroom Kandi queen props her all her success and said she’s proud of her.

After watching that, I can’t understand why these two just can’t get along. Since then, they’ve said some not so positive things about each other on their blogs, which sounds like this moment of clarity was short lived — very. We’re not saying they have to be BFFs but the beef is lost on me.’

Kenya apologizes…and then goes in again

Typically, when one decides to apologize for wrong behavior, they try to have their attitude in check — or at least their outward expressions. But as Porsha pointed out, while Kenya was saying sorry for calling Porsha all types of bishes during their argument the night before, “Her face was like a mean raisin.”

And let’s not get on the ‘tude. Porsha was a little hasty to try to cut in when Kenya first starting talking but then she just went on and on, still trying to prove her point on the low, and then complained that Porsha didn’t apologize to her. She didn’t give her a chance to!

Miss America shade

And then there was the bringing up of old ish. Still reveling in the history she thinks she is a part of, Kenya decided to give Cynthia what could possibly be the worst gift ever — a copy of Vanessa William’s memoir. No disrespect to Miss Williams, it’s just Cynthia not remembering that Vanessa Williams was the first Black Miss America doesn’t exactly mean she needs to read up on her whole life.

What Kenya fails to realize is there are two types of history one needs to know. There’s history history — like George Washington was the first president, the middle passage, women’s suffrage — and then there’s ish you only need to know because you’re a part of that world. Cynthia is a model, not a pageant contestant, her not being able to quote Vanessa William’s career line by line is not a travesty.

Someone stop Peter from talking

You know how you foreshadow a pivotal moment in an episode when ish is about to hit the fan? That moment was when Peter got up with a shot and lime in hand and starting talking just a bit too much. You never know what’s going to come out of this man’s mouth anyway and by the time he got to talking about Walter and Kenya’s relationship seeming fake, you knew there was nowhere for the evening to go but down.

And that’s exactly what happened when Walter let it be known that no proposal would be taking place on anybody’s island if he was involved. But who was really shocked — besides Kenya? This is the same man who, when someone pointed out that he and Kenya were matching in the color pink, made it a point to say that wasn’t on purpose. Did she really think a ring was coming after that?

Kenya gets salt poured on her wound

If my fake boyfriend just told me we weren’t getting engaged, my next course of action would not be to ask everyone around the table how they were proposed to. And I damn sure wouldn’t follow that up with, “how do you let a man know you’re ready to be his wife?” Girl, Walter knows. He just doesn’t care! You couldn’t pay me enough to sit through that type of conversation if I really was in shock that I wasn’t getting married.

Anything could happen in Anguilla but a proposal

I was going to give Walter one point for at least following Kenya when she stormed away from the dinner table engagement talk, but when she walked away from him and he told the staff makes sure she gets on the bus okay, that point was revoked.

This is the point in the night where I actually started to feel bad for Kenya. I know she’s an actress, but her disappointment at not being proposed to seemed genuine — and Walter started to seem like a phony. “Anything could happen” was probably not the best thing to say to someone so desperate to get a ring while on a three-day island vacation, and the fact that he had not an ounce of sympathy for her breakdown did not make that blow any easier to take. Kenya should have listened to Nene. “The best way to get a ring is a closed mouth.” And a man who’s actually interested in you.

Kenya cries in the bushes

The heartache went from a few tears to a full-on water show at Las Vegas when Kenya broke away from Walter and literally cried in the bushes. At this point, I think every woman whose had her heart played with felt a little somethin’ somethin’ for Kenya. We know the woman is on a time clock, even if she realized way too late that Walter wasn’t in to her at all. And I do have a feeling her tears were more about wasted time than Wally Walt, but still, ol’ girl was hurting.

Kenya better take a word of advice from the book of Phaedra: “The only woman looking for a husband is one who ain’t never had one because it’s more work than you think.”

Walter’s story seems fake

OK so I gotta call BS on Walter’s fake relationship claim — or at least point out that something seems a little fishy now. If you’re in a play relationship just for the cameras, why would you tell someone that “anything could happen” and you wouldn’t be opposed to eloping?

When Walter called into that radio show a couple of weeks ago, he said Kenya shocked him with all the marriage talk once the cameras started rolling, and up until last night, the way he starts coughing and choking anytime she says the m-word seemed to prove just how caught off guard he was. But I can’t think of any man who wouldn’t have shut down any possibility of eloping when it was brought up to him if he wasn’t even in a real relationship. Walter knew Kenya wasn’t speaking hypothetically, she wanted a ring. His actions last night seemed to suggest he was the one faking interest in her just to be on TV but she really thought she was in some type of relationship — even if it he appeared to have more interest in watching paint dry than seeing her booty pop on the island.

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