We Wish We Could Be Happy But…15 Men Who Crushed Us When We Found Out They Were In Relationships/Married

December 28, 2012  |  
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Why is it that we sometimes feel a connection to celebrities that we don’t know personally? We’re happy for their accomplishments, cry when they pass away, are supportive of them through hard times, consider them our – as Wendy Williams likes to put it – “best friends in our heads,” and even sulk when we find out that they’re no longer single – though our chances of realistically being with them are slim to none. I know I’m guilty of this – especially that last one. So I figured I’d spotlight 15 men who we were crushed to find out had been boo’d up. Click through and relive the pain with me.


Source: WENN

Boris Kodjoe

Boris Kodjoe. The number of hearts he broke when he married Nicole Ari Parker in 2005 could be considered criminal. Why, we wondered, would such a fine piece of man lock himself down before we had our chance at him?! But I believe we’ve all come to our senses, and maybe even love the family man and his lady as a couple more now than ever before.

Source: WENN

Omar Epps

Those of us who love Omar Epps: let’s not pretend we didn’t dream about shoving Sanaa Lathan aside and taking her place next to him in Love and Basketball. There was just something about his body and undeniable swag that had many of us watching and re-watching, and re-watching some more. But in 2006, we Omar lovers were forced to take a seat when he married Keisha Spivey from the R&B group Total.

Source: WENN

LL Cool J

Ladies Love Cool James all right, so much so that many of us were saddened by his 1995 marriage to Simone Johnson. We’ve gotten over it though and have come to love Cool J as the family-oriented man he’s been for some time now. But every time we see him lick his lips, we can’t help but fantasize about being his lady like we used to. Ah well…

Source: WENN

Justin Timberlake

After marrying Jessica Biel this October, Justin Timberlake removed himself from the market – and from many of our dreams. Yes, we were sad to lose one of our finer white boys, but I suppose we’ll get over him just like we have so many others. And it will probably be easier since he hasn’t put out amazing songs like “Until The End of Time” and is trying to be taken seriously as an actor only. Ya’ll know he wrote that song about me right?



Oh how we love us some Common. He’s the fine black man that many of us dream about, and given how much he loves us black women in return, how could we not swoon over him? But in 2008, our swooning hit a snag when sources reported that he and Serena Williams were an item, and boy were they. You could see them vacationing together looking all happy and crap.  I admit I was upset initially, but am I the only one who now misses them as a couple? She definitely made him happy.

Source: Getty Images

T.J. Holmes

The CNN news reporter turned BET’s Don’t Sleep host, T.J. Holmes is a fine hunk of an intelligent man – which is probably why so many of us couldn’t help but be upset by news of his marriage to Marilee Fiebig in 2010. The two are currently pregnant with their first child so we’ll have to get over it and continue to swoon over him from a distance.

Source: WENN

Morris Chestnut

Morris Chestnut may have married Pam Byse back in 1995, but that doesn’t mean we’re not still upset about it from time to time: like when we watch Chestnut in a movie (say The Best Man where he was looking too delicious) or on TV and remember just how fine – and taken – he is really is.


Ryan Reynolds

There’s something about Ryan Reynolds. Don’t ask me what it is; maybe it’s his smile, or his tan skin, or maybe even his tousled hair and delicious muscles… Whatever it may be, it was strong enough to elicit a collective groan from all of us when we found out he had secretly married actress Blake Lively in South Carolina back in September. I mean, c’mon Ryan! She’s so…not me…

Source: PEOPLE

Michael Ealy

How could we forget Michael Ealy? The light-eyed beauty who’s been melting our hearts for years has been telling the world that he was single for years now. So he certainly delivered us a blow just LAST WEEK when news broke that he and his longtime girlfriend Khatira Rafiqzada had secretly married back in October… after dating for four years.

Photo by: JLN Photography/WENN


Those of us who love a Southern gentleman had to be feeling a little miffed when it was revealed that T.I. had finally gone on and married his longtime girlfriend and former Xscape singer Tiny. I can’t say that I’m one of those women (I was actually happy for Tiny), but I can understand how some might have been broken up about it. T.I. is mighty fine.

Source: WENN

Denzel Washington

Denzel Washington is fine; leading man fine; A-list actor fine; fine regardless of age fine… you get the point. That explains why so many of us were initially crushed by his marriage to Pauletta. But come on, how can we hate on such a beautiful black Hollywood relationship? – I’m not saying I don’t want to though…

Source: WENN

Isaiah Mustafa

Isaiah Mustafa made watching commercials a pleasure after his Old Spice ad aired back in 2010. Many of us were captivated by this new (and chocolate!) Old Spice man, but were crushed when news sources reported that he was dating a number of women.

Source: WENN

Taye Diggs

In 2003, Taye Diggs and his big beautiful smile ruined many-a-fantasy when he married actress Idina Menzel. Although many of us were crushed, we’re happy he found love and happiness in family life. If you ever want to come back, we’ll be waiting for ya’ Taye.

Source: WENN

Channing Tatum

Okay, so maybe I stretched it with this one; you’d have to be somewhat of a Channing Tatum fan (like I am) to know why I feel how I feel about this couple, who are now expecting a child together. It was his role in the 2006 hit movie Step Up, which brought him to the leading lady in his life. Tatum danced his behind right off and into our fantasies. Turns out his co-star Jenna Dewan was equally as impressed as the two transformed their onscreen romance into real-life romance and married in 2009.

Source: WENN


When Usher married Tameka Foster, it seemed like everyone disagreed with the union and had one hateful thing or another to say about her, her age, and her motives. But I wonder, was all that hating because we just didn’t like her, or because we didn’t like her with him? – as in we wanted him for ourselves? Who knows. But seeing what they both dealt with together, I think we’ll pass on the guy now that he’s not married. And besides, he’s already back in a serious relationship with Grace Miguel, another older woman.

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  • Caydence James

    Ain’t nobody waiting for Taye Diggs to come back. He can walk on…….

    Also, Isaiah is DATING a lot of women but that doesn’t constitute a relationship or a marriage so y’all were really reaching for that one!

  • kntrandom

    Taye Diggs is now divorced. yall done wished them apart


  • monique484

    I wish Usher and Tameka were back together. They have 2 children. At least he married a chocolate bunny and that snowball Grace wants his money. I pray he thinks hard before he marries her. No one else wanted her, or she would not have been available for Usher. Too many chocolate bunnies that will love him and be his lover forever. If not Tameka, then another chocolate bunny. Whatever he does, I will still support him. G-d be with you Usher

  • monique484

    I have had the opportunity of meeting men and women in show business. I still love my chocolate men!!!!! At work I have had to run and lock the bathroom door to keep the snowmen from trying to kiss me or try to date me. I know I would throw up if I did. I will stick with my chocolate men forever

  • Nomoret

    none are my type..

  • yeahyeah

    The couples are all beautiful, no matter if they are double dutch chocolate to caramel. who cares!! although, I am African American, I have never understood this whole hyped up issue on dark versus light skin. who cares!! this seems more like a self esteem issue. you cannot help who attracts your heart. get over it

  • joy

    T.J Holmes… this one hurt actually quite a bit.

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  • sweets

    Okay, LL Cool J has been married forever, Justin T. just got married, how could you not know?

  • McD

    Michael Ealy lost my respect when he pretended to love sisters, but was just playing to his greatest fan base. I know you can’t believe half of what you hear, but for some reason I believe a poster that claimed to be a close friend of the girl he was dating (and subsequently married) who told her that he stated darker women with African features did not appeal to him. I never understood why so many women considered him fine, he always struck me as odd looking and nothing near the description of fine.

  • Ifuaskme2

    And who exactly did you consult about this crappy list?

  • peace

    umm I not heartbroken over Common and Serena probably isn’t either since he’s broke..perpetrader…..

  • Tweetybird

    Only TI i met him B4!!! such a sweethart

  • Sam I Am

    I’m sorry why are you hating these happily married couples? Must be a SLOW news day.

  • Bubbah

    About Michael Ealy et al, I wonder how many near eastern social functions he’ll attend?? I’ll bet he’ll take her to every social event attended by blacks though. He’ll probably enjoy kissing every black woman he knows at those events. That is part of the “I know you wanted me and still do, but as you can see I chose who I thought was the most superior.”

  • Bubbah

    About Michael Ealy et al, I wonder how many near eastern social functions he’ll attend?? I’ll bet he’ll take her to every social event attended by blacks though. He’ll probably enjoy kissing every black woman he knows at those events. That is part of the “I know you wanted me and still do, but as you can see I chose who I thought was the most superior.”

  • Shaina

    What about Robin Thicke though?

  • Nearly had a heartache there – Serena and Common? You’re the only sad about thier non-relationship.
    Was mad however, about Michael Ealy. How dare he make us swoon over him when he is not even single. Once you are in a relationship you are no longer swoonable material!

  • browniebyte63

    mike ealy is so not cute, he actually is kinda scary looking to me

  • JustSaying_IMFO

    Since when is “dating a number of women” = in a relationship?

    I’m not crushed at all and happy for all of them. Though, I never realized how much LL Cool J and his wife look like siblings. It’s weird when couples (gay and straight) look alike.

  • tQ

    Phew. Idris Elba is not on this list 🙂

  • I am not crushed by these. I know that I will more than likely never meet any of these celebrities. If you are really crushed you may need to work on finding real realationships with men who are availible. Who you can actually date or marry.

  • Trisha_B

    Micheal Ealy is cute, but he’s not all that like the women were making it seem, crying in the last post about his marriage. He just has them colored eyes & light skin (& yall talk about the fellas smh lol) He has the Benzino, no neck syndrome

  • Kaori

    I’m glad I don’t have an unhealthy obsession with celebrities, because I have never, not once felt disappointed or unhappy about a celebrity being in a relationship.

  • Cleo

    But I’m not crushed by any of these lol

  • Magg

    i’ll just act like i don’t know about Mickael Ealy… I mean… He is mine… Madame Noire stop reporting false news!!!

    from: a girl in denial!!!

  • Yeppers

    Lol these lists always give me a chuckle…. Unless u live in LA and have REGULAR run ins with these men then u have NO CHANCE!!! Who they go to bed with after the cameras go off does not concern me in the least. I livein the real world and know these men as the characters they play. And that’s all…. I don’t pine or dream after a man that is on television in hopes that he will remain single for the rest of his life because I want him to or because he is fine! A mess!!! wake up people… I know this is a game and it’s cute and all, but I feel like list like this feeds the insane idea/notion that we control the color/ nationality of the spouses of these men, and people feel they can send hate messages to these men when they personally choose white/other spouses. Which is CRAZY!!!! Live your life… Wach tv And cut what u feel about these people PERSONAL LIVES! Thank you.

    • scandalous7

      agreed but there are other things underlining our disdain for black mean, especially successful black men, dating other races for the wrong reasons. Not just that we might be too invested in these celebrity men. The mistake we make as black women is we assume every black man that is dating a non black women is doing it because they are not attracted to us or is stereotyping our attitudes as a reason not to date us, etc, not that they may have actually fallen in love with a women who happens not to be black. Im beating a dead horse but hay, whatever.

      • I don’t care. Who knows why they date these women? And why worry about it? You cannot change it anyway. We have to focus on our dating opportunities.

  • dixiechick

    il admit 1. boris kudjoe made me sad, 2. omar epps who? didnt even know brother had a name, kudos to him though, he married a black girl and not the stereotypical white or other race, 3, ll cool j always gave me the heebeejeebies everytime he licked his lips. 4.dont give a rats bootay about justin timberlake 5. dont know tj holmes from adam, and 6 gosh man i have a life im not going through this entire list

  • Ann

    Justin Timberlake? I was through with him when he left Janet Jackson out there by herself and I have not seen him step up and speak on her behalf during the superbowl show. I don’t support him. He should have at least step up and spoke. He left her out to dry.

    • psylocke_2001

      Me too! I’m glad you brought that up. He’s a pretender, an interloper, he wanted to be “down” but when ish got hot he tightened up real quick. I can’t stand his fake @$$.

  • anon

    A # of those relationships are bearded, 1 or 2 – bearded both ways.

  • anon

    Except for 3 of them, the rest chose ‘light bright’ or white.

    Yes, it matters.

    • scandalous7

      Damn right it matters and Im sick of people saying that it doesn’t or try to downplay its significance in our community. For those who dont think its a big deal, tell that to our little black girls trying to have some type of self esteem (especially those of a darker complexion). I am 21 and have been having self esteem issues my entire life and the self hatred was not even that bad when I was little. Its only getting worse.

      • Cleo

        You can’t rely on black men to build self esteem, especially for little black girls. Many black men have low self esteem themselves. Taye diggs for example he has publicly said he hated his dark complexion..what does he do marry a white lady so his kids won’t be dark like himself. I don’t know any black woman that would want someone so insecure.

        • scandalous7

          Clearly it is not the only thing that effects self esteem but it does play a big part. What went through my mind, especially as a teenager and what often goes through many young black girls minds is ” if men of my own race aren’t dating us, who will?”. I’ve grown out of that mindset but it took a long time though. Still in the process of accepting the fact that it is what it is. *shrugg*

          • But men of our own race are dating us. You need to focus on building your self esteem to the point where it is not affected by men you will never meet or know. There are plenty of men to choose from. I am dark skinned and have dated whole rainbow of men.

            • scandalous7

              That’s all apart of maturity and growth which is what I am in the process of doing. Everything said in these retaliating comments I know now but I was not looking at the situation in different perspectives until recently that’s all.

          • BlackJack

            I refuse to accept that black men aren’t dating black women.What you mean is it is not enough stable,financially successful, Denzal Washington clones dating black women? Black women can pull from white,Latino,and Asian populations.Every brotha aint gonna be 6’4″ and bringing in over 6 figures. Black men are just getting used to the black female independent movement.

        • BlackJack

          Black woman never will be satisfied,it seems that you could pick apart Jesus Christ and he was perfect!

          • IamaQueen

            You’re an idiot, being selective and not settling speaks volumes. Don’t speak such ill will of your queen.

        • Strongerthanmost

          This is sad…..We must start to rely on the Black Man. He is capable of providing what we need. The Folks have black women minds all F%&^* up. We must build and not let go. That’s the problem today, we as black women are so quick to say let the white women have him….Hell no, give him back let us rebuild together and become a stronger unit. For the black man is King. When we as Blacks know and understand of history we will start taking back what is ours and not being so quick to throw it away. Damn Right It Matter!

      • Trisha_B

        Women play the biggest role in hurting little girls self-esteem. Men aren’t putting relaxers in their little girls hair, mother’s are. Men aren’t saying don’t play outside so you don’t get too dark, women are. Men aren’t saying put on a face little make-up, women are the ones buying their daughters play make-up set. Men aren’t saying put weaves in my daughter’s hair, the woman is. If a little boy is in elementary school and all he sees is little girls w/ relaxers in their hair, that is what he’s gonna be use to growing up. When he’s older he may not find a natural hair wearer attractive. Men are playing w/ what they got. Where is your mother to build yourself esteem to tell you, look we are the same color don’t you think mommy is beautiful? If you think mommy is beautiful, so are you. like in the toddler & Tiara post of the black mother not allowing her daughter to play outside so her baby don’t get too dark. Idk where you live, but in the suburbs diversity land i live in, in Montgomery County MD black men are dating black women. I only see the “light is right” on tv aka fictional land. Don’t blame your low self-esteem on men. You have your own personal issues.

        • Men are also playing a role by not being there to raise their daughters. By their actions as well. Relaxer doesn’t equate to low self-esteem. And black men do the same thing. Black men do the same thing. I know black man who doesn’t want is birarcial daughter to date black men because the baby will be dark. The media also plays major role in how we see ourselves. Black people could fight this alot by simply turning the tv off.

        • BlackJack

          Agree!!! When I was coming up, we didn’t have any black women to fantasize about on t.v and all the teacher’s were white. We were programmed that dark skin was ugly.Now black girls don’t have to weave that Indian hair in ,you could go ‘natural’.

        • scandalous7

          Men are definately not the sole reason that would be pathetic, but all Im saying is they are not helping . I agree with your statement about how women are contributing to low self esteem the most . I personally believe that the invention of the hot comb did more harm than good for black women and It is leading us down a slippery slope (perms, weaves, etc) . Madame Walker could have never predicted the social consequences of her invention.

      • Mason

        So you blame others, for your esteem issues? How crazy is that.

    • Trisha_B

      But most of the black men on the list were light themselves O_o how come there is no outcry about there being no chocolate men? I love chocolate men, but all i see is these light bright men lol. Only 3 of the black men choose someone other than black, the rest were w/ black women that were the same/close to the shade as them. So what are you talking about?

    • Tara

      No, it doesn’t matter what the color of her skin is.I have no problem dating outside my race and i’m black so men who date outside of theirs doesn’t bother me because i’m not insecure. I don’t feel like he’s rejecting me or his race because i don’t limit who i date based on their skin color at the end of the day it’s about the attraction and chemistry you have with someone and who i’m attracted to physically and for me that’s not limited to a certain race.

  • IllyPhilly

    Damn, heartbroken? Nooooooooo. This is cute though.