‘Who Protects The Mother and Child?’ Pilar Sanders Loses Custody of Two Sons

December 21, 2012  |  

Source: WENN

It is unfortunate when a marriage goes south and parents begin squabbling over children. In Pilar Sanders’s  case, it is very unfortunate since she seems to be the one losing these days.

New York Post’s Page Six is reporting that in a recent hearing, a Dallas judge ruled in favor of  NFL Hall of Famer Deion Sanders, revoking the temporary custody that his estranged wife Pilar had been granted for their two sons. The boys were reported to have been living with their father anyway. Pilar was however, able to retain custody of their daughter.

In addition to losing custody of her sons, the judge also decreased Pilar’s child support checks from $10,500 to $5,500 a month. Pilar of course, was not happy with this ruling and like many women who find themselves in ugly custody disputes with rich and famous men, she’s calling it an unfair fight because of Deion’s fame. Pilar’s publicist Kali Bowyer released a statement discussing this matter on behalf of her client:

“Pilar has become a victim of Deion’s celebrity status, which has swayed the courts and blinded justice . . . It has become evident at this point that there is an absolute prejudice against Pilar, and this has become a completely one-sided court circus.” “

The actress and model also openly expressed her feelings regarding the nasty custody battle she has found herself in.

“I am sad that Deion has been able to keep my boys away from me since Oct. 26 — no Halloween, no Thanksgiving — and now he is threatening to keep them away from me for Christmas. . . . He is using our innocent children as a pawn in this ugly, ugly divorce.”

She promises that she will continue to fight for the custody of her children and took to her Twitter page yesterday to express her dissatisfaction with the ruling. “Who protects mother and child?” she tweeted.

We agree that it is generally in the best interest of children to have both parents in their lives. We hope these two can come to an amicable agreement for the sake of their kids.

In this case, do you believe Pilar is a victim of Deion’s fame or is she just upset that the ruling wasn’t in her favor?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for madamenoire.com. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

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  • Sparkle All Day

    Why didn’t she lose custody of her daughter if she is so unfit? Why didn’t Deion take custody of the daughter as well….that alone says that Deion decided he wanted his sons with him and the judge went for it because he is the star and has the money. Poor Pilar and the broken up family

    • Look we as a community can’t have it both ways. Too many of our young men are raised without a father’s involvement; therefore why shouldn’t Deion have custody of his sons. For the first part of their life, their mother was involved, now allow the father to have more control over the direction into manhood for his sons.

      Personally, I wanted my father to raise me. He would have taught me things that my mother was incapable of doing. Not because she was a bad mother, but because she wasn’t a man trying to navigate life. Some mother’s have ways of thinking that may stymie growth within a child, some father’s are just better equipped in raising children.

      I remember wanted my ex to raise our children, not because I’m a bad mother, but because he had qualities that I thought our children needed from him in raising them. I was brow beaten into keeping custody because good mother’s just didn’t give up their children. I did a great job in raising the children; however, I still maintain my ex would have done a better job. We as a society have to stop falling into stereotypes and based decision on what is best for the child/children. We all agree that young men need a male in their life to navigate them into manhood, well why not their father.

      We all may have different perspectives based on personal experiences. I for one applaud a man for seeking custody of his children when he has been there from the beginning. Previous decisions were based on antiquated notion when mother’s were house wives and not working women. Women want equality and now in some regards we have it. I haven’t read where Pilar has to pay child support to Deion, so what’s the beef!

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    Why is it so bad when the fathers have custody of their kids, especially when the fathers are financing the lifestyle of the mothers?

  • Melissa

    Know what I can’t stand. When a woman doesn’t have custody of her children, the looks and negative comments that follow. Why? Where is this golden rule that if the mother doesn’t have custody she’s a bad parent. When my parents seperated we lived with my mom for one year. Then moved in with my dad. That was who I wanted to live with anyway, but that’s another story lol. Daddy girl. My brother and I had a very active, and constant relationship with my mom but it was dad who teachers saw at the school, had the talk with me, who I confided in when my mom wasn’t there and I had female issues. I want to give to shout out to all good dads. True they are only doing what they are supposed to do but I think they get a unfair shake. On Father’s Day for instance you don’t see the commercials, etc like when Mother’s Day come around. I also hear people say to their moms happy fathers/mothers day because she was both. Good for them, but you never hear about father being congratulated on Mother’s Day. Sum it all to say would this be a printed article if pilar had custody of all 3? No. We need to stop with the “oh my dad has custody” I’m proof positive they can do a good job.

  • TheRoyalHighness

    If I’m not mistaken their son’s are at least 13 and 11, in the State of Texas children are allowed to decide which parent they want to live with at the age of 11. Perhaps that played a part. I don’t know whether Mr. Sanders has ulterior motives in this, and if he does Karma is a b-word and I heard that she bites. I applaud any man regardless of financial status wanting to be responsible and take care of his kids. I hate the misguided belief that all women are the instant best parent. I know some women I wouldn’t leave a Baby Alive doll with for more than a couple of hours let alone a living human child. These adults are killing me altogether however in bashing their former spouses et al, because if it was all good just a week ago (figuratively), what happened to turn them into the horrible person you describe in court papers, and how did you miss it at the door?

    • Jen

      I completely agree! Well said!

  • susie kue

    This is so sad to me. Regardless at once upon a time they were a happy couple and to see that it has come to this is just awful.

  • I wouldn’t keep a child’s parents away from them unless there was an abusive situation. I just hope that those kids don’t grow to resent their dad for taking them away from their mother. You divorce spouses, not children.

  • Jen

    This is just my opinion. Here’s my thing what makes him a good father and her a bad mother. It seems to be a trend lately that these celebrity father’s are awarded custody of their children, but in reality are they really raising them or will they or he (Deion, Usher, Dwayne Wade) hire a nanny? I understand in Dwayne Wade case but I’m not clear on what Pilar did to lose custody. Unless her sons asked to live with their dad it just doesn’t make sense. Just because someone has more money doesn’t equal being a better parent.

    • beck0974

      You don’t think a nanny’s salary isn’t part of their custody agreement? Their sons chose to live with their father. She hasn’t lost anything. She can be just as involved (or not involved) as she was before the divorce. Being a parent isn’t always about proximity.

  • Our System is Broken

    I beg to differ with the whole “Men with money these days” quote. Go through the court cases and you will find that Men are the ones winning the custody cases whether rich, middle class or poor. Female judges in particular, are the ones who are granting Fathers Physical Primary Custody of the children. The sad thing is, a lot of these Fathers aren’t mentally fit to take care of children and usually end up leaving them on a relative or, re-marry someone to take the place of a normally caring and loving mother, leaving the mother totally out of the picture and the children longing for her presence. I’ve seen this on too many occasions and it’s saddening. You are suppose to look out for what’s in the best interest of the children and two loving parents is always better than one. Not a relative or some fly by night Step-Mother that he never got the chance to know before marrying her and pawning his kids off on her just to keep from having to pay child support. Come on Judges, get it together, start looking at each court case individually and stop going with the trend.

    • beck0974

      On the same token, a lot of the mothers aren’t “mentally fit” to take care of the children and end up leaving them with other relatives. Please do not act as if women don’t pull that mess. How many women over the last few years have had boyfriends/non baby daddies murder their children? It happens more than gets mentioned on the news. Further, if there is a step-parent, guess what: when you marry someone with children, you become that child’s parent. My son’s father and I are married to other people. I have no problem with him spending time with his stepmom, just as I’d hope his dad doesn’t have any problem with him spending time with his stepdad. And if he does, he better not bring that foolishness to me, considering how messy he was when we were together.

  • Taunya73

    I believe that a lot of celebs get their way in divorces because, usually, they have the unlimited funds to pay for all that back and forth in court.

  • Taunya73

    I believe that a lot of celebs get their way in divorces because, usually, they have the unlimited funds to pay for all that back and forth in court.

  • heyheynow

    Not sure what happened in this situation but in most instances the mother is more involved emotionally with the child maybe that’s why the law often awards them custody….hell she had to carry the children for nine months…but anyway it seems like this celebrity status is starting to play a part look at dwight howard, dwanye wade I mean I think their status is what is causing the celebrity father to get custody it’s obvious that the judge doesn’t think she is an unfit mother so she gave her the custody of the daughter it just sounds like a bunch of mess

  • Ms_Mara

    Didn’t she help make this “ugly divorce” what it is by running up on him Rambo style? It’s sad when couples can’t just work things out after being together for so long. The only ones who really suffer are the children. How often is that little girl going to see her brothers now that he’s playing keep away with them? They have all them dollars and no sense.

    • Gail

      Abolish family litigation. It is a scourge on our nation and economy.
      The lawyers who do divorce and child custody litigation are generally

      contentious, dangerous troublemakers, very dishonest, typically
      malevolent and a stain on the legal profession (they create parental

      conflict and harm children and parents for a living). Family litigation

      can be easily replaced by family mediation, which we know works much,

      much better than litigation in these cases, for all involved (except the

      lawyers), so long as the presiding judges are trained. By trained,
      I mean the judges understand that custody litigation harms children

      and their parents, and that their primary role therefore is to stop the
      litigation. They must also be trained to understand that the
      way to stop such terrible litigation is to treat the parents
      identically with regard to custody and parenting time, to treat
      money issues as incidental, to relentlessly order and encourage
      mediation throughout the process, and to go after any family lawyers
      found to be lying, making false, frivolous or excessive claims (to

      create inter-parent conflict, or who are maligning either parent
      and otherwise harming and abusing the children and parent(s).

  • Sharon

    I don’t think the judge should use celebrity in making a decision on who is best fit for the children. I don’t know why people want to go out on the internet and put their business out there when media outlets like this will report it. I feel really bad for the children who Deion put them on the internet while filing a police report, which is stupid for him to drag the children into their mess. These people claiming to be a “Christian” in all of this. I hope this will be a lesson for him to learn and maybe he won’t produce any more children.

    • beck0974

      The thing is this: Pilar will never acknowledge that her sons probably wanted to stay with their father. They are 12 and 10 years old and are old enough tell the judge where they want to live. Also, just because they’re Christian doesn’t mean they’re infallible. No one is perfect and it’s all a learning process. Could they have handled this better? Absolutely. I think it’s more telling that you think you can judge whether they’re Christian or not. We are ALL sinners. None are perfect…except Sharon.

      • Sharon

        I am perfect. (LOL). I know Christian do have fault and they are not perfect. That was my point I think it could have been handled better. By the way, Deion did mention I can’t remember whether it was on their reality show “Prime Time Love” or in an interview they were Chrisitian. If I am not mistaken, MC Hammer won Deion to Christ.

        • No Human can win a person to Christ….God chooses You..”Dear friends, God the Father chose you long ago and knew you would become His children.” 1 Peter 1:2 .

  • I don’t know how old the boys are I’m assuming teens or pre-teens most courts do weigh and consider where the older children want to live when they make their decision. That’s probably what happened here. They asked the boys who they wanted to live with and they chose their dad. Nothing really more spectacular or shady going on here. I do find it peculiar however that she wasn’t awarded any time with them especially on holidays. that seems very very strange.

  • frommymouth2urears

    The courts are putting woman on notice…just because your are the mother of a child doesnt mean you are the only one that can care for it. Fathers have just a many rights as the mother…it time to figure out how to deal with your ex without all the fighting or you could lose everything including the kids.

  • Africanpride

    They are both not handling the divorce well especially airing their personal business on a social network. However, sometimes boys prefer to stay with their father, and Deion is doing this to also keep better account of what goes and comes out of his pocket. He should let the boys visit their mother though but then again there’s more to the truth than what people put out there.

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  • iluvm

    You know I don’t feel bad for her. When she was on the show Football Wives her “pride” was in the sky and she acted as if she was better than the other women since they lived a modest life. Look how the tables have turned on her.

  • Nope

    And on the flip side, men that don’t have $$$ or fame are usually sh*t out of luck in custody matters because most courts and mothers assume mothers are the most important parent. Mothers are granted custody upon a child’s birth so when games get played, it’s typically started by the mother.

    • MLS2698

      When I got divorced, all my ex cared about was his married mistress. He was trying to get to her so fast that he left important papers ( military records, letters/pic from his family, bank statements, you name it). He wasn’t interested in our teenage son, just new puthy; so I got my son by default, but would not have it any other way. I guess the game you are talking about is when my ex’s mistress didn’t leave her husband, but had my ex looking all kinds of foolish having to pay me child support and alimony. what chu think?

      And just a note: when I found out my ex-husband was cheating, I tried to put him out of the house for three months, telling him to ” go live with his wh0re,” but I found out he couldn’t because she was married. Not to worry, cause I had a lawyer during that time.

      • Nope

        Uh, you had some other stuff going on which doesn’t really apply to my point.

        • MLS2698

          Lol! Pilar had some stuff going on too!

      • yea

        yea I’m glad you got him back but this doesn’t really apply

        • MLS2698

          Hell you talking about? I divorced him.

    • Patriarchy is at fault. Women are coined as nurturing. They are supposed to be Miss Sally Homemaker and men claim women’s place is being a mother and raising her children. But in court, men get mad when women get custody and child support. I think a child needs both parents, but can’t have it both ways in your scenario. Men are very much at fault for assuming the mother is the most important parent. It just doesn’t work out for them in the end.

      • Nope

        Men have to APPLY for visitation AND custody. Women don’t ‘get custody’, they already have it. Just think about that. Men have to get legal permission to see their kids if things are amicable between the mother of their child. While you have a point with the role of patriarchy, women also play both sides of the fence, such as Pilar and other women do when their motherly expectations don’t pan out.

        • Nope

          Meant if things aren’t amicable

          • I agree with your statements because I’ve seen them in real life LOL. But, patriarchy is the root. However, men DO deserve the same consideration, protection, and rights as women, especially if he is a fit parent.

        • MLS2698

          Please! Most men don’t even apply for visitation, anyway. Yes, it’s their right, but do they do it? No! It’s best to do it through the courts, then that cuts down on the BS. Child support too. Don’t put cash into a woman’s hand. I know because when I was separated, my ex was several months behind in child support and alimony, so much that, our house was going into foreclosure. I asked him to go into his 401k to catch up the mortgage. He signed over a check to me for $5000……but this is the catch: child support enforcement sent him a letter two weeks before, telling him not to give me any money, or it will be a gift. He asked me for a receipt, which I kindly said I would give him in the future, and because of my honest character, he believed me. I didn’t give that nicca nothing, and the rest is history! And the courts and CSE know everything. Believe me, the amount he owned was more than $5000. And when we got divorced, he was still behind, but I told the courts not to worry about it; didn’t need more drama.

          And I really was going to give him a receipt, I just didn’t have any paper at the time.

          • MLS2698


        • Jleeseals

          I don’t know where you all get your info on the law but someone lied to you. Here is the law. In the case that a woman and man have a child together and are not married the mother automatically has custody and yes the father must petition the court to establish his rights to the child. When a child is born to a woman and man who are married they both have custody of said child. The man has the same rights to the child as the woman. Upon a divorce a judge will decide who primary custody is awarded to but until then they both have equal rights to the child. A judge makes rulings in the best interest of the child not who has more money. If a judge awarded a man custody then the evidence presented to him showed that it was in the best interest of the children.

      • Nope

        ” Men are very much at fault for assuming the mother is the most important parent.”

        I disagree. Even women married to their child’s father think they are the better/most important parent. Hell, ever bum @ss mothers are quick to celebrate and want acknowledgement on mother’s day.

  • Trisha_B

    If the boys were already living w/ the father, what’s the problem? Their teenage boys, they want to be w/ their father. They should see their mother tho, their little sister is w/ their mother. So keeping them away is not good. But i guess Deon wants the boys living w/ him b/c that’s less money for Pilar to have to spend on materialistic things other than the kids? Idk, these divorces get so messy

    • MLS2698

      How do they separate sibling like that? Even if my brothers were a pain, I still couldn’t imagine a house where I can’t blame something on them, and see/love them daily..

      • Very easily. My husband and his ex separated their kids. He took his son and she took the girls. They know nothing different. They get to see each other every weekend, since they are either with their father or mother on that weekend.

      • Very easily. My husband and his ex separated their kids. He took his son and she took the girls. They know nothing different. They get to see each other every weekend, since they are either with their father or mother on that weekend.

        • MLS2698

          Okay. Just blame them on the weekends. Kool