“I Liked Him…Until I Got To Know Him”: Navigating The Confusing Stages Of A New Relationship

December 21, 2012  |  


For the first few weeks, I felt that I had found Mr. Right. I was shocked, thrilled, excited, and unusually happy at the thought of him coming into my life. Our long conversations added a certain spice to my day; and our brief text messages usually left me anticipating the next phone call. He was everything I could have asked for….until I got to know him.

Once our new ‘situation’ started taking a turn for the worse, I immediately began to question what could have gone wrong. Then a little voice, called wisdom, whispered to me, “Nothing went wrong; you just met the real him, girl.”

See, a lot of times we puzzle our brains trying to figure out what went wrong in a relationship that was so blissful in the beginning. The both of you are saying the right things, doing the right things, and enjoying the moment. But after a while,  there is something that’s called “the real you” or “the real him” that ultimately comes out and the laid back, easy to like version of folks fades into the background.

Every new relationship has moments and situations that ultimately decide if it will get past the honeymoon phase. I’ve had some relationships that have made it and many more that didn’t. Still, it’s all a part of dating.

Here are a few phases I think every new relationship experiences before (or if) it leads to commitment.

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  • Great read MN! Everything that was touched and brought up I’ve been through. I think alot of women should definitely read this article to hopefully open their eyes to the signs of a relationship potentially going downhill, or one relationship that can be diverted and worth saving.

    I’ve had some relationships that, for the moment, seemed for the worse, that could’ve possibly been repaired. Where there were a few that I had where I had tirelessly and continuously tried to manage to make right… Turned out they just weren’t worth all of the effort. A complete waste of time and energy. Basically, this article could and may have saved myself and alot of other women in these similar situations.

  • hollyw

    Good article, MN. Well-written, well-researched, and under 5pgs 🙂

  • JustSayin

    I like the end of the “honeymoon” phase. I think that it is important to get to know the real them. I like it. Because; that is when you know if they are REALLY there for you. If they are someone you can truly confide, trust and rely on. Once that sets in? That is when you know if you truly love someone or it was just pure lust.


    Most want the honey moon stage only…after that is where the hard work comes in and sadly thats most relationshit dissolves!!!

  • Nope

    lol at “the molding stage”. I swear every woman, especially exes, pretty much take full credit for all of the success and goodness in his life. As if he didn’t know how to tie his own shoes before you walking into his life and just having the honor of knowing you was such a transformational experience for him.