“Curb A** Beyotch, That’s What You Are!” RHOA Episode 7 Recap

December 17, 2012  |  
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When I tell you Nene is giving us life this season, I am not exaggerating. Last night she read everybody up, down, and sideways and didn’t let not one little detail slip past her when it came to the messiness of some of her castmates, proving Kenya isn’t the only person who this season wouldn’t have been the same without. Check out the highlights from last night.

Nene peeped Kenya’s fake relationship a long time ago

While Kenya was still going hard with everyone else’s man but her own, Nene had no choice but to ask what everyone else was thinking: is your relationship even real? We’ve seen some floozies in our day, but most women aren’t bold enough to flirt with another man in front of his woman and in front of her own man. And when that man doesn’t give a damn…well, you know something is up. Nene talked about Cynthia being able to read people but she read Kenya mighty well. She didn’t even have to wait for Walter’s announcement to now something was extra fishy over that way.

Kenya and Walter were thinking about eloping (in Kenya’s mind)

If you wanted to give Kenya the benefit of the doubt about this Walter thing, last night’s episode should tell you why not to. This chick had the nerve to tell Nene and the rest of the girls she and Walter were thinking about eloping and having a celebration in Atlanta after they tied the knot. I’ll give you the reaction Nene had:

“B***h who are you in a relationship with ‘cuz it showl ain’t nobody on this island.”

Exactly.

Another sign of a liar? They get noticeably perturbed when they feel like they are being found out. When Nene kept questioning Kenya’s relationship, she started dropping all sorts of f-bombs to claim she didn’t care what other people thought about her relationship with Walter. But not before she cared enough to lie and say she and Walter were thinking about eloping in Anguilla and having a celebration for their family and friends when they got back. Walter will set that straight next week, not that Nene didn’t already.

Porsha might be an instigator

Maybe it was just girl talk but I think Porsha might have been trying to start some mess when she put Cynthia on to the man sandwich her husband was involved in. I’m not sure how Cynthia missed that the first time around, like when Kenya was noticeably bent over in front of Peter pulling a 1993 rumpshaker move, but she didn’t seem to happy to hear about it when Porsha brought it to her attention. But as Cynthia normally does, she opted to let that transgression slide. She better be careful letting too much stuff pass.

Kenya’s face gets cracked

If I was in the middle of a dinner and my fake boyfriend stood up with the serious face and said “we’re going,” my first thought wouldn’t be he’s about to propose. But then again, I’m not crazy. Kenya is, though, which is why when socially awkward Walter whisked her away from her friends she thought he was about to hit her a wedding proposition  In a way he did, it just wasn’t her wedding he had to tell her about as he broke the news of Cynthia and Peter’s vow renewal and essentially let her know you will always be a bridesmaid and never a bride if he has anything to do with it. She should’ve taken Phaedra’s advice and put some ice in her panties.

Kandi is a frizeak

Apologies, I know this isn’t new news considering her Bedroom Kandi keggel ball line, but the fact that Kandi pulled out the home camera to let the world know she and Todd christened the hot tub and she was oh so very grateful they did is yet another reminder of why she is in the exact business she needs to be. I do wonder if she missed Phaedra’s hot tub safety PSA though. Gotta keep the honeypot fresh.

Peter is a black angel

Peter might have redeemed his suspect rep last night when he surprised Cynthia with a vow renewal in Anguilla. Through tears, Peter explained wanting to have the wedding they didn’t get to have the first time around and everyone on the island was touched — some for different reasons, Kenya, I’m talking to you — but it truly was one of Peter’s best moments. And as Phaedra so properly pointed out, he looked like a black angel…in white.

Porsha takes a sharp left

Have you ever been out with a group of people and been pleasantly surprised that things are going well and then someone wants to bring up some old ish? That’s exactly what happened last night when Porsha started out on the right foot saying she was actually enjoying Kenya’s company in Anguilla, but when she launched into all the “because when I first met you you were being all such and such” ish got really real. Kiss the blackest part of my behind real.

Kenya turns up Gone With the Wind fabulous style

Almost as striking as Porsha deciding to bring up old bygones was the way Kenya went from 0 to 10 in about two seconds when Porsha got to popping off for too long. What was almost as funny as these two going at it was the fact that no one around them cared. Nene was looking at her manicure and Phaedra was sipping her tea like she was on the back porch on the plantation, but when one too many B-words, and t-words got to flying, the ladies had to intervene.

At some point, Kenya was ready to lay hands on Porsha but then she opted to remind everyone of how truly fabulous she was by doing four reverse spin moves and a hair flip which she labeled “Gone With the Wind fabulous.” I think she’s been hanging out with Lawrence too long.

You can call a woman a b***h but not a tramp?

It’s hard to pinpoint the most confusing part of of Kenya and Porsha’s arguing but I found it highly comical that Miss USA kept ranting about Porsha going below the belt and “you don’t say that to a woman.” It took me hella long to figure out what that was — calling her a tramp. Mind you Kenya was all sorts of b***hes before that point and likely will be again. From where most viewers were watching Porsha actually read Kenya pretty well, she just couldn’t handle the truth.

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