“Curb A** Beyotch, That’s What You Are!” RHOA Episode 7 Recap

December 17, 2012  |  
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When I tell you Nene is giving us life this season, I am not exaggerating. Last night she read everybody up, down, and sideways and didn’t let not one little detail slip past her when it came to the messiness of some of her castmates, proving Kenya isn’t the only person who this season wouldn’t have been the same without. Check out the highlights from last night.

Nene peeped Kenya’s fake relationship a long time ago

While Kenya was still going hard with everyone else’s man but her own, Nene had no choice but to ask what everyone else was thinking: is your relationship even real? We’ve seen some floozies in our day, but most women aren’t bold enough to flirt with another man in front of his woman and in front of her own man. And when that man doesn’t give a damn…well, you know something is up. Nene talked about Cynthia being able to read people but she read Kenya mighty well. She didn’t even have to wait for Walter’s announcement to now something was extra fishy over that way.

Kenya and Walter were thinking about eloping (in Kenya’s mind)

If you wanted to give Kenya the benefit of the doubt about this Walter thing, last night’s episode should tell you why not to. This chick had the nerve to tell Nene and the rest of the girls she and Walter were thinking about eloping and having a celebration in Atlanta after they tied the knot. I’ll give you the reaction Nene had:

“B***h who are you in a relationship with ‘cuz it showl ain’t nobody on this island.”


Another sign of a liar? They get noticeably perturbed when they feel like they are being found out. When Nene kept questioning Kenya’s relationship, she started dropping all sorts of f-bombs to claim she didn’t care what other people thought about her relationship with Walter. But not before she cared enough to lie and say she and Walter were thinking about eloping in Anguilla and having a celebration for their family and friends when they got back. Walter will set that straight next week, not that Nene didn’t already.

Porsha might be an instigator

Maybe it was just girl talk but I think Porsha might have been trying to start some mess when she put Cynthia on to the man sandwich her husband was involved in. I’m not sure how Cynthia missed that the first time around, like when Kenya was noticeably bent over in front of Peter pulling a 1993 rumpshaker move, but she didn’t seem to happy to hear about it when Porsha brought it to her attention. But as Cynthia normally does, she opted to let that transgression slide. She better be careful letting too much stuff pass.

Kenya’s face gets cracked

If I was in the middle of a dinner and my fake boyfriend stood up with the serious face and said “we’re going,” my first thought wouldn’t be he’s about to propose. But then again, I’m not crazy. Kenya is, though, which is why when socially awkward Walter whisked her away from her friends she thought he was about to hit her a wedding proposition  In a way he did, it just wasn’t her wedding he had to tell her about as he broke the news of Cynthia and Peter’s vow renewal and essentially let her know you will always be a bridesmaid and never a bride if he has anything to do with it. She should’ve taken Phaedra’s advice and put some ice in her panties.

Kandi is a frizeak

Apologies, I know this isn’t new news considering her Bedroom Kandi keggel ball line, but the fact that Kandi pulled out the home camera to let the world know she and Todd christened the hot tub and she was oh so very grateful they did is yet another reminder of why she is in the exact business she needs to be. I do wonder if she missed Phaedra’s hot tub safety PSA though. Gotta keep the honeypot fresh.

Peter is a black angel

Peter might have redeemed his suspect rep last night when he surprised Cynthia with a vow renewal in Anguilla. Through tears, Peter explained wanting to have the wedding they didn’t get to have the first time around and everyone on the island was touched — some for different reasons, Kenya, I’m talking to you — but it truly was one of Peter’s best moments. And as Phaedra so properly pointed out, he looked like a black angel…in white.

Porsha takes a sharp left

Have you ever been out with a group of people and been pleasantly surprised that things are going well and then someone wants to bring up some old ish? That’s exactly what happened last night when Porsha started out on the right foot saying she was actually enjoying Kenya’s company in Anguilla, but when she launched into all the “because when I first met you you were being all such and such” ish got really real. Kiss the blackest part of my behind real.

Kenya turns up Gone With the Wind fabulous style

Almost as striking as Porsha deciding to bring up old bygones was the way Kenya went from 0 to 10 in about two seconds when Porsha got to popping off for too long. What was almost as funny as these two going at it was the fact that no one around them cared. Nene was looking at her manicure and Phaedra was sipping her tea like she was on the back porch on the plantation, but when one too many B-words, and t-words got to flying, the ladies had to intervene.

At some point, Kenya was ready to lay hands on Porsha but then she opted to remind everyone of how truly fabulous she was by doing four reverse spin moves and a hair flip which she labeled “Gone With the Wind fabulous.” I think she’s been hanging out with Lawrence too long.

You can call a woman a b***h but not a tramp?

It’s hard to pinpoint the most confusing part of of Kenya and Porsha’s arguing but I found it highly comical that Miss USA kept ranting about Porsha going below the belt and “you don’t say that to a woman.” It took me hella long to figure out what that was — calling her a tramp. Mind you Kenya was all sorts of b***hes before that point and likely will be again. From where most viewers were watching Porsha actually read Kenya pretty well, she just couldn’t handle the truth.

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  • Setra

    I agree NeNe is hilarious and had me laughing out loud with last night’s episode. She was exactly right that Kenya and Walter didn’t seem like that much a natural couple. I also thought it seemed like Porsha may have been instigating when she brought up the fact that Kenya was dancing on her husband. I thought the renewal of Peter and Cynthia’s vows was a sweet idea of Peters. I was kind of glad that Porsha brought up the fact that Kenya was being a little nicer on this trip. This episode gave me and my DISH coworker a lot to talk about so I’m glad I watched. I wasn’t home last night when it aired so I recorded it on my DISH Hopper. This DVR can
    record and store up to 2,000 hours of entertainment so I never run out of room.

    • Did you really insert an ad for dish in your post? You ought to be ashamed of your damn self.

  • KayBee

    That old red-orange old school Fashion Fair looking makeup ain’t helping either.

    • Not the Fashion Fair makeup tho? Straight out of a 1992 Essence magazine ad?

      • KayBee

        🙂 More like a 1992 Jet magazine ad next to that ad for Raveen perms.

    • LMAO! Comment of the week!

  • miemie

    download ad blocker! no adverts ever again! i was mad at myself for not doing it earlier

  • Miss Jay

    The Gone with the Wind twirls were right on time since she was rocking a Blanche from Golden Girls robe.

  • Kenya looks very hard in the face.

  • Christmas Jelly Bean

    She is just so mad that nobody wants to marry her.. smh

  • Jaiah Jaxon

    Meanwhile, while these catty hoes fighting and arguing, Kandi’s in her room getting it cracking with that fine man of hers! #IAintMadAtCha

    • chococupcake85

      Rumor has it Kandi’s man is gay. It’s just a rumor but who knows…

      • scandalous7

        so what was your point puttin that out there then? Somebody must always ruin it.

  • Cleo

    You are speaking the truth tho lol she kept saying I’m fresh off the runway lol I’m like girl you wish you still looked the same. She should go see a dermatologist

  • Diam

    Gone with the wind fabulous? I hope Kendra knows that at the end Rhett Butler left Scarlet O’hara….but I digress

    • SheBe

      Yes he did and didn’t care. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

  • bigdede

    First, I loved that NeNe pointed out that Walter and Kenya didn’t seem like a real couple. Second, I love that Peter surprised Cynthia and the surprise actually worked. Third, I loved all of Porshe’s lines last night, loved them. Like NeNe said to Kenya. Porsha was just stating what she observed and Kenya had a chance to rebuttal but instead she got all crazy. NeNe told her she could have just said that Porsha was wrong instead of going crazy like that. The BEST part of the whole night was when Kenya started twirling and said she was Gone with the Wind Fabulous and Phaedra looked at her and looked at the other girls and was like “All right then”. Best part of the night!

    • msgeegee

      i liked when Phaedra said “you better preach!”…..LMBO

  • Patricia

    This is why I don’t watch this foolishness. Some blacks and mainstream media stereotypes us black women as we like to fight and argue with each other all day long. I know some people likes this non sense but it is a shame. I wish people would stop watching and supporting this and support positive black women who are trying to maintain a positive image what they have.

  • Dee

    Loved the episode! Cynthia is always giving fierce looks and eye cuts, just wish she had the personality to match

  • kierah

    Ain’t nobody shocked that Kandi is a frreeak! She looks like the type that keeps a supply of Monistat and Amoxicillin just for hottub situations.
    Kenya got mad at being called a tramp because a hit dog will holla!

  • Na Na

    Kenya cray cray….ain’t no way around it.

  • Tamz

    I swear all that sashaying Kenya was doing, I thought she was having a “Paris is Burning” flashback…#GurlBye

  • littleoleme

    LOVED LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE. What I don’t understand is why Cynthia was outside with the other girls at the end. If my man had surprised me with that vow renewal and teared up like that I would have been giving him something he can feel! Lol!

    • UmOk

      LOL!!! Riiiiggghhhttt! Maybe she put him to sleep early and then came back down. lol. But even Kandi had sense enough to be upstairs putting in work, trying to get a ring. Meanwhile Kenya, with her “we were thinkin about eloping” lookin arse downstairs twirling and ish. Arguing and lookin like a fool.

      • littleoleme

        Lol. You stupid!

  • Miss_Understood

    Curb a s s B i t c h=my favorite sound bite of the night!

  • TeahMonae

    I don’t think Porsha did anything wrong. I could be wrong, but I thought someone asked her what happened when she and Kenya first met. She didn’t say anything disrespectful, she was just answering the question from her point of view. Kenya could have did the same without flipping out.

    • chococupcake85

      Yea, Nene ASKED her what happened. I don’t know how people forgot that. Nene even repeated to Kenya, Everyone has a right to express their opinion about how they felt. And that’s how she, (Porscha), felt about the situation. I caught that part clear as day.

      • msgeegee

        Yes, Nene brought the whole thing up. She was stirring up old ISH and she KNEW IT. Porsha could’ve played nice. She should just glossed over the subject or downplayed it instead of bringing up an old incident. Nene got that mess started by asking what happened and then she sat back and watched those 2 idiots go at it…..

  • Denise

    Portia started that whole mess. She should have just kept her mouth shut and avoided that whole situation. But then again that would not make for good tv.

    • Miss_Understood

      Actually NENE started that mess-she laid the ground for the drama and sat back and watched it unfold and even had the nerve to try and “stop” the fight, asking “What Happened” like she didn’t know

      • beck0974

        Oh please…Kenya was bound to go off on someone (Walter) or someone was going to go off on her (my bet was on Phaedra). Doesn’t matter who “started” it. Kenya, being a representative of Miss USA, could have diffused the situation easily. Instead, she went off and made herself look a fool. And that “Gone With the Wind” crap… just ugh…