My Husband Is A Cheating, Drug Addicted Jail Bird And I Still Don’t Know If I Should Move On…

December 14, 2012  |  


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From Essence


Q: Hello, Dr. Sherry. I have some serious issues with my husband of 14 years. We first married in 1998 and were married for seven years. I divorced him because he had a drug habit and chose it over our marriage. I remarried him after being divorced for only one year, only to find out he was still using drugs. He has been in and out of jail our entire marriage. The only time he really tries to be committed to this marriage is when he is in jail.

Once he is out of jail, he is back using drugs and doing whatever it takes to get the next high. He has said so many mean things to me, including talking about my appearance and short hair, only to say he said those things because he was angry with me.

He has accused me of cheating, which I have never done. Every time he is using drugs, I catch him with another woman. (I have even caught him in the car with another woman!) He tells me it is only about drugs, not sex. The ultimate offense was recently when I lost my job, and he was working at the time and he told me he would support me while I went to school. Instead he quit his job and told me he will never support me. I have been the main provider in this marriage, although we have no children together. I have three grown children from a previous relationship. Well, he has been locked up for three months now and keeps writing me, telling me to trust him, and he is very sorry. I need to know if I should move on or not. Honestly, this is just the tip of the iceberg and not even everything.

Twice Bitten

See what celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake has to say about this situation on

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  • Damn even Stevie Wonder can see that she needs to move the eff on. I’m talking about leaving state with no forwarding address and changing her name. DUH dummy your husband is a crack head.

  • MLS2698

    She doesn’t even realize that she never even had a husband. Real men do this?

  • Meyaka

    Let me use the new skill I have gotten from dealing with stupid women :” it’s going to all work out gurl!!! Don’t even trip!”

    Good day

    • MLS2698

      HA! You crazy! That’s all she wanted to hear, right?

      • Meyaka

        Pretty much since she will be back to him in about 15 min

        • MLS2698

          True. Because she is asking questions instead of leaving!

          • Meyaka

            you feel me tho? lol


    Where they do that @?!?

  • Miss_Understood

    I hope this is a fake story…if not, my advice is to read what you wrote and pretend like it’s one of YOUR children asking YOU for advice. What would you suggest they do??

  • for real now?

    OMG! What is this? I am going to refrain from calling this woman the “i” word because I’m sure she has people in her life doing this.

    This issue is not about the husband but about her. The question to Dr. Sherry should be:

    Dear Dr. Sherry, why do i keep going back to a man who has repeatedly abused me in the past?

    There is a serious self esteem issue going on here. Does she think this loser is the best she can do? Oftentimes we women are our biggest critiques and at the end of the day, a woman attracts what she thinks she really is. If a woman does not love, value and cheirsh herself, she will not attract a man who is capable of doing the above things. Real talk.

    What lie is this woman telling herself about herself that makes her believe this kind of low life man is an option for her? There is way more to this story.

    Anyway… love starts with loving God and loving yourself the way God loves you which is completely, flaws and all.

  • she needs to in big bold letters tattoo “idiot” on her forehead.

  • Bird

    Please get out of that relationship nothing about it seems healthy.

  • IllyPhilly

    Self esteem is gone! Start with the lady in the mirror and then find some support groups that understand. IDK what that’s like, but it’s seriously unhealthy.

  • Almost every black radio show and publication regularly circulates these types of stories. Its tiresome hearing about all of these dysfunctional black relationships where the abused is just as whacked as the abuser. Both of these individuals need to go their separate ways and seek counseling. Are there any happy, healthy black couples?

    • IllyPhilly

      The Huxtables.

      • And The Obamas…but for real….

    • Miss_Understood

      That’s why I have a hard time believing this is an actual story submitted by a reader…