Confessions of My Winter Self: This Is For The Birds!

December 14, 2012  |  


Even though I’m a winter baby, and my birthday is on the universal “Get Turnt Up” day (New Year’s Eve), something about the winter time is straight booty to me. The sky is the color of gruel, it’s cold, it’s rainy, it’s snowy, everyone is sick. Walkways must be salted. Ugly boots wit da fur must be worn to keep away frost bite. In short, winter is the worst.

A trip to Brazil last year may have corrupted my mind because before then I didn’t really know any better. I never thought about the fact that winter is not the same everywhere. While all my friends were freezing their fannies off in DC with snow storms, I was sipping mango juice out of a coconut and slathering my body with sunscreen.  After I came back my mind was completely blown by the beauty of the place, how everyone carried on like it was normal to be 81 degrees at Christmastime. Ever since then I’ve loathed even a hint of chilliness. Summer is my lover, winter is my foe, and so here are my laments against the coldest months of the year:

  • Dry Skin is the name of the game – no amount of essential oils, shea butters, or Vaseline can keep me moist enough during the dry winter months. It’s like clockwork: put on protective layer of oil on all exposed skin, step outside, look like an ash zombie from “The Walking Dead.”  Not a good look, especially since I am trying to serve ‘Robin-Givens-in-Boomerang’ young professional realness.
  • Dry Hair will have you looking like a Dr. Miracle commercial – See above. I have locs, so they tend to look dusty in the side-long glint of winter light.  And it takes too long and is too cold for my hair to dry when I wash them, so I don’t get to bake them in them in the sun like in the summertime. So no interesting hair dos, no bouncin’ and behavin’ locs. Just straightbacks that have me looking like Bob Marley.
  • IT’S FRIGGIN’ COLD – I’ve lived in the bitter heart of cold country – Pittsburgh, so I know what that snow shoveling life is about. Who wants to go outside when it’s colder than a witch tit? Not moi. And it takes longer to get around. And your car needs servicing. And heat and gas bills. Bleh
  • Post Holiday Blues – After the joy of the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays have passed, there are really no breaks until the beginning of spring (with the exception of MLK Jr. Weekend). People are usually bunkered down after the new year, trying to pay off those credit card bills that financed Christmas and batten down the hatches against blizzards. Miss me with allllll of that.
  • The clothes are atrocious – in the wintertime the imperative becomes survival and warmth over supple and sexay.  So nobody can tell that underneath that bubble goose down and hiking boots is a beautiful bombshell. Dressing for holiday parties are a hassle too, because unless you have a floor length mink coat to cover your teeny weeny New Year’s Eve dress, your timbers will be shivered from the time you step out of your car until the time you get into the party. No bueno.

The only positive thing I can think to say about winter time is that it gives the earth (and people) a time to rest from the constant growth of spring, summer and fall. That’s poetic. But if it was up to me, I’d take all of the sunshine/light clothing/sweet drinks/heat of summertime over the cold of winter any day.

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  • sabrina

    Maybe you should move to Cali then.

  • OSHH

    I love winter, there is beauty in every season if you open your eyes to see it.

    ****Fashion, chile please in fall and winter you can really do more than you can any other time of the year, so much to choose from…..from tights to overcoats to leather jackets to gloves to boots to pumps, suede* to blouses to sweaters to dresses to slacks….. honey if you can dress this is the time of year to put on a show daily!

    • OSHH

      I forgot hats!!!!!

  • Na Na

    One thing I disagree with is the clothes. I looove to dress in the winter time! There’s nothing like over sized handbags, leathers and banging boots that I loove! lol

    • for real now?

      I’m with you on that one! Winter fashion is cool. And truth be told… if a person has their body together and/or a great sense of style then they can look fly year round.

      Plus, in the southern hemisphere winter and summer is reversed. Granted, winter in Brazil is nowhere near as cold as DC but shoot…. when it’s winter in the Northern hemisphere, it is summer is the Southern part, lol 🙂

  • Trisha_B

    I can’t stand winter!! I wish it could stay spring all year round

  • Ce1999

    This is so true. Although here on the East Coast the past few days have been pretty warm. I don’t know if winter has officially hit yet, but it’s been eerily warmer out.

    • It has been nothing but beautiful sunny days in Chicago too *knocks on wood so i dont wake up 2 white stuff sprinkled on the ground in the morning*


    Coming from an island; I absolutely despise winter!!!

    • JaneDoe

      I must be the only island person who loves the cold… Absolutely love the cold air

      • TRUTH IS

        Yeah, only you lol 😀

  • Elismom

    Me too!