Ask A Very Smart Brotha: He Wants To Wear A Cape During Sex…

December 12, 2012  |  

Source: Shutterstock

Dear Damon,

My name is Kween and I need a lil bit advice and somewhat a reality check for today… I’m a lesbian in a relationship that has been off and on for almost 4 years with a stud who I love dearly. The only problem is she’s 26 and can’t hold a damn job…(smdh). I’m 31 and have 2 children… I provide very well for them but I feel like I’m supporting and catering to her too much… I really wanna just wash my hands but I’m afraid to be alone… In your opinion, what should I do?



Hey Kween (Is that your real name?), thanks for writing in. Now, I have been many things in my life—teacher, basketball player, spades champion, asshole, etc—but I have never been a lesbian. And, since I’ve never been a lesbian, I’ve never been in a lesbian relationship. Still, I can’t imagine lesbian relationships being that much different than male-female couplings. With that being said, I’ll give you the same advice I’d give a straight woman (or man). u won’t be able to continue the relationship unless she gives you some help.

If you feel like her lack of income/drive/ambition is hurting the relationship…then it’s hurting the relationship. There are some people who are okay with being with someone who doesn’t bring much to the table financially, and that’s okay. It’s also okay if you happen to be the type of person who’d like for their significant other to be able to pay something other than attention. Since you’re one of the latter, I don’t see a problem with letting her know that as much as you love her, yo

As far as the not wanting to be alone thing, that’s an understandable feeling. But, Kween, you’re a 31 year old woman. If you do decide to break up, you may be alone for a while, but chances are that you will eventually meet someone who you can be happy with. There are millions of other fish in the sea—Literally millions. The sea is full of damn fish. Some beautiful. Some with missing fins. Some who haven’t even been discovered yet—and don’t spend any more time holding on to a spoiled one just because you think you can’t catch anymore.


Damon Young

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Pingback: Ask A Very Smart Brotha: He Wants To Wear A Cape During Sex | Madame Noire | Black Women’s Lifestyle Guide | Black Hair | Black Love « Rantins 'N' Ravins()

  • Candacey Doris

    Glad to see some letters instead of the facebook format for a change. I like the advice to. If you can’t stand having a moocher in the relationship then you have to cut them loose before it builds up and that’s all you see about them. The cape thing…at least he doesn’t want to wear her underwear.

  • clove8canela

    So at 31 she may not meet someone for awhile?? So are you saying she’s better off settling? No way. When did 31 become the cut off?

    • Darcampb

      I was thinking the same thing. Sounds like an a$$hole statement to me

    • Kaori

      That’s because this guy doesn’t have a clue what he is talking about.

    • Candacey Doris

      Where did he say that she should settle? Are you reading the same thing i am? He says there are more fish in the sea if her girlfriend won’t start holding down a job and contributing to the relationship. Stop skimming the articles and read the thing.

  • IllyPhilly

    Strangest thing, man wanted to, um how to say this c*m in my mouth and have me spit it back into his mouth.

    • Native_Noir


    • Jelly

      I thiink that’s called a snow ball. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it. #dontjudgeme

      • IllyPhilly

        OMG, it has a name?! SMH

        • Candacey Doris

          Yes. But normally it’s supposed to be 2 girls doing it. He must like the way he tastes.

  • Kaori

    This has to be fake! Why would a l*sbian woman ask for advice from a heteros*xual man?

    • get real

      Because women can’t get real gameadvice from other women that’s why.

      • Kaori

        Sure they can. A l*sbian woman asking a heteros*xual man for advice about her homos*xual relationship makes no sense.

    • Moemiel

      Actually r they any different. If the person had not mentioned gender i think the response would b the same or similar. A moocher is a moocher.

      • Kaori

        Yes, they are different. A relationship between two women isn’t going to be the same as a relationship between a woman and a man. How could a man possibly give sound advice about a relationship between two women when he is not a woman himself?

  • Ms_Mara

    If you gonna put in work, shoot, I might make the cape for ya my damn self.

  • MLS2698

    Just as long as he ain’t playing ” Super Hero ” with someone else!