In Defense of Kenya Moore, It’s Hard To Be The Single Friend Of Married And Attached Couples

24 comments
December 12, 2012 ‐ By Charing Ball

Source: Bravo

By now, everybody has witnessed Kenya Moore’s boundary crossing performance (literally) with Apollo Nida, husband of Phaedra Parks on last Sunday’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta.

For some folks out there, watching Moore horse around in the pool with Nida and then turn around and drop it very low for Peter Thomas, who is married to Cynthia Bailey, confirms why you should never leave your husband around single women, especially if the woman appears extremely motivated to answer the ticking of her biological clock. But it also illustrates the difficulties of being a single friend among married and attached couples.  Kenya is wildly inappropriate to be in the company of married people. However, if this was a bunch of single friends, the story might play out differently. Single people flirt. We flirt for sexual reasons; we flirt because it’s fun and we flirt because we are bored. Why just yesterday, I engaged in some casual conversation, which by some standards might be accused as being flirtatious, with some random guy at the gas station just because I had time to spare while pumping my gas. When you are a single hetero, any conversation with the opposite sex can be misconstrued as being flirtatious. And navigating that rocky terrain can be tricky to learn, especially when trying to build friendships around couples.

Everybody on RHOA is pretty much coupled up. NeNe and Greg appear to be working things out. Peter and Cynthia actually seem sweet together this season. Porsha has her husband, Kordell, and even Kandi has a decent dude in her life. Love is definitely in the air. Well, at least for everyone except Moore, who went as far as to allegedly get a dude to pretend to be her boyfriend for the purpose of the show. No, it’s not easy being the odd pairing in an environment where everyone is matched the same, even if you don’t go as far as Moore. Try being a childless single at your best friend’s son’s fourth birthday party. Honestly, you didn’t want to attend because you knew it would be nothing there but children and women talking about children, but you go because you are a good best friend. But unfortunately, you spend the entire day fielding questions as to why you have no children yet and wiping birthday cake off your skirt.

In college, I had one girlfriend who used to date this guy and bring him along everywhere she went, including to places where it would be just us girls. We always suspected that insecurity was at play, but she assured us that he wanted to tag along. Unlike the rest of us, her boyfriend wasn’t a college student. He just came along after his girlfriend got accepted to college. Being from outside of the state, he had no friends and no job, so he spent most of his days bored in their shared apartment.  Therefore, the only company he had was through his girlfriend and her new college girlfriends. Anyway, her boyfriend with us so much that eventually he became one of the girls. He was down to earth, knew about soap operas and had this biting sense of humor.  We loved him – in a purely platonic way.

Well, one day a few of us girls were having drinks at my apartment and we had invited the couple to come along.  Our friend’s boyfriend showed up without our friend. We asked about her whereabouts and he told us that she would be coming along shortly. Twenty minutes later, it’s a knock at the door. It’s our friend.  She is standing there with a sour look on her face. I invite her in but she declines, instead requesting that her boyfriend comes to the door. Five minutes later, we see their car pull off down the street, and after that evening, we started seeing less and less of the couple. We would later find out that our friend was upset that her boyfriend had come over to my house without her, and that she suspected that he was cheating on her with one of us. We always found that unusual considering they were together all the time. When would he cheat?  Plus, he was too broke and weird looking for us.

There’s no doubt that Moore’s flare for the dramatics – and as what has been alleged as a grab for more screen time – is a major reason why she comes off nuttier than a pecan log roll. But there are times that for single people, even the most unintentional and innocent of interactions with the opposite sex can be misconstrued as something more than suggested. I found it interesting how during the same party during the same episode, Cynthia took it all in stride when Moore bent over and twerked it in front of Peter. In fact, she confidentially joined them as they danced.  The mere fact that Phaedra was that agitated about a couple of stupid jokes and horseplay in the pool – done in her face I might add – probably speaks more about her own relationship with Apollo than Moore’s overall playful demure. Not to mention that Phaedra’s butt floss, and spider web swimsuit definitely smelled of anxiety.

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  • Jontel

    I wouldnt even read the rest of this new age hogwash. Even if a couple werent married a chick or a dude would get beat down for that behavior. Stop trying to excuse someone misbehavior to validate your own. SIT DOWN.

  • Ms. Kameria

    Girl boooooo……I’m no longer a fan of hers.

  • http://twitter.com/MizzJazzyPeach J Mc

    Maybe it’s just me but I feel like this article ended abruptly lol. But anyway, technically these girls are not Kenya’s friends so there was no need for her to go out of her way to have a fake boyfriend just so she’d have a storyline for the show. It’s sad, even if she is the only single girl in a group of couples, she’s a pretty woman but now she’s just ruined her chance of any dude wanting to wife her up and have their babies (then again we are in the age of dudes wifing up questionable women so maybe there’s still hope). Kandi was the single girl for a minute and she held her own around all of them, Kenya could have done the same. I hope they don’t keep her around for next season after this stunt.

  • Artsitsway1

    Come again?! This has got to be the dumbest article ever posted. Let’s get this straight. Not all single women are desperate and unhappy. And not all single women flirt with or want their married friends husbands. But there is no excuse for Kenya’s behavior–who just so happens to be one of those single and desperate chics. She was VERY inappropriate in her behavior and I am pretty sure that if SHE was married, she wouldn’t find her stupid jokes coming from another woman so funny.
    I don’t see what the story about college friends hanging out with one guy has to do with a grown azz woman blatantly flirting with a married man. If Kenya had given Walter half the attention she was giving Apollo and Whatshisface, she might not be having the problems she’s having. But obviously, she’s not even interested in Walter he was just a cover.
    I have never hung around women who didn’t trust me with their man and never hung around women who couldn’t be trusted. That’s just a waste of time. And don’t get it twisted, Phaedra is not the insecure one or she would never have even wanted Kenya to go on the trip in the first place.

  • Angela Ingram

    I didn’t even want to finish reading this article because I am frustrated at the fact that you could even think of giving this woman a pass for her behavior. Ridiculous! I don’t want to hear it or read it. There is no excuse for any single woman to knowingly flirt with a married man. Period!

    • BAPS

      yeah don’t read the rest of it, too many excuses LOL

    • http://twitter.com/jennaparks11 Jenna

      lol I didn’t read the rest of it either…just jumped down here to see what y’all thought…sounds like an #epicfail

  • Guest360

    Sorry but being the single friend among married couples is the LEAST of Kenya’s problems lol. Its not about her being single. Its about her being desperate for attention, any kind of attention and if that means crossing boundaries with her “friends” husbands and causing drama with her and between their marriages, so be it. Most single people flirt, sure. Cheeky conversation is one thing but I don’t believe people with morals and boundaries make it a point of flirting with a friends spouse, especially if you’ve been checked on it a few times. Kenya’s got a lot of deeper issues than being the “single friend”. So normal rules shouldn’t apply to her lol

  • koko

    Single women don’t want their friends husbands, this author sounds very insecure. We don’t want them because we know the dirt they do. Not all single women want to be married, that’s another lie married women tell themselves. You need to be looking at your married girlfriend who is looking at your husband.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=794787228 Angie Moore

    Kenyas behavior was so over the top, I can’t imagine any friend or associate to act that way. Skanky! Is that a word? Thats the way I feel about her

  • BAPS

    Sorry Charing, but Kenya has no defense. Being single has nothing to do with respect; Sheree, Khandi and even Kim have been “single” on the show at one point, Khandi even admitted to being celebate for a short time, and they all have hung out as single & married couples; none of them have ever flirted with their friends’ men on the show outside of a mere “church” hug; Khandi and her man are not married, they were on the trip as well, and Khandi didn’t behave that way, so the theory you can’t bring your single friends around your man is not completely true.
    There was nothing “unintentional” about Kenya’s behavior & flirting; she had control over what came out of her mouth and her hands; flirting w/ a stranger at the gas station and flirting w/ a friend’s or an acquaintance’s man is not the same.
    If Kenya chose to focus on her career opposed to trying to start a family in her younger days, then that’s on her; everyone else shouldn’t have to suffer, be lied to, or disrespected because of her choices; no sympathy here.

  • Meyaka

    Didn’t she invite herself on a couple’s vacation with a gay man in tow?

  • Ladybug94

    There’s a difference in flirting and being outright inappropriate. I like Kenya but her behavior was inappropriate and especially so because she doesn’t know them well and it would have been if she did. What man would want to wife someone who is dropping it like it’s hot and/or acting anything other than wife material in public.

  • Miss_Understood

    Flirting with your friend’s man (married, fiancee or serious boyfriend) is disrespectful to your friend.PERIOD.

  • Britt

    No one likes to be the third wheel and it may be uncomfortable to constantly always be around couples when you’re single, but that doesn’t mean you drop it low for your friend’s husband. Kenya made herself look bad because one moment she’s pressuring Walter to marry her and the next she’s flirting with Apollo and dancing on Peter. Technically, Kenya wasn’t single in Anguilla. She had Walter there and paid him no mind except the times she was asking him when he would propose.

    Quite a few of my cousins who are my age are married or have kids. Just because they’re in relationships, I’m not about to flirt with their men or wish that I had kids right now.

    • Miss_Understood

      Apparently the relationship with Walter was a sham so she WAS single…smh

  • realadulttalk

    I was never under the impression any of these people were friends. But anyway–Kenya is too damn old to not know better. I refuse to give her a pass for her behavior.

  • Cleo

    I’m sorry there is no excuse for a woman throwing herself on a married man idc how single she is

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    Really though? Kenya was just being “playful”? no her azz was being an attention seeking skank! How about that question about what two friends would Phaedra allow her husband to SLEEP with? Yeah har, har, hilarious right? Don’t think so.

    All that “playin” is probably why her thirsty azz is single.

  • Say What?

    This chick’s life isn’t difficult because she’s the third wheel, but because she had three personalities and none of them can keep a man!

  • JaneDoe

    Are you kidding me with this? There is no excuse for her behavior. I have never envied any of my friends relationship. I actually feel sorry for them. Relationships aren’t peaches and cream and I for one don’t want to be tied down to b.s.. M.N fail

    • realadulttalk

      Chile please! I don’t want any of my friends men either–why would I want the headaches you complain to me about?

      • pretty1908

        AMEN ! I have never flirted with a friend’s man…. eeew

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marsha-Johnson/100000351465971 Marsha Johnson

        So it again realulttalk! …kenya need’s to be put in check! Phaedra acts like she’s lost her voice, she is a lawyer right?…lol

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