An Open Letter To The Guy Who Accidentally Touched My Boob

December 11, 2012  |  

Dear Guy, who decided that admiring my necklace from a far wasn’t sufficient enough therefore just had to get a closer look by reaching out and grabbing the charm on my chain and opps…brushing up against my boob (s) in the process,

You ain’t slick.

You see I have been hip to the game for a while. And you may think you are distracting me with questions, like, “what kind of stone is this?” or “do you know what these symbols mean?” but that has never been sufficient cover for the fact that your hand not only brushed against my right boob but is still lingering mere inches away from the left one. Trust me I notice.  Believe me, I noticed. And I am tad bit annoyed by it.

Listen, I know how hard it is navigating around my double Ds. I don’t care if I have a tight turtle neck, a well fitted button down or a loose sweatshirt, they still manage to be the center of attention. Even at times when I don’t want them to be like at a job interview a few years back, when the buttons on my top gave way, exposing my zebra print push-up to a very bashful human resource manager. I’m surprised I didn’t get the job because, not to toot my own horn, but my breast are pretty nice.

And I try to be tolerant when I catch your eyes wondering below my moving lips to the chest region. I saw and ignored you when you did the side glance down my v-neck. They are big and distracting. Heck sometimes when I’m looking in mirror, I too get overwhelmed at how wonderful my breasts are. But when you cross over that threshold from sneaking peeks to actually making physical contact with the wonder twins, by way of the ole “lemme see your chain” routine, we got a problem.

Yeah I know, it was an accident and you didn’t mean it. You were truly interested in “seeing” the charm on my necklace. And this is as awkward for you as it is for me. But you know what would have totally prevented this awkwardness between us from happening? If you would consider asking permission first before reaching out and touching me, especially anywhere near my chest area.  If asking permission is too much for you to handle, well then for now on I will be sure to assume you meant to violate my personal space, take offense and call you out on your slickster, pervy ways.

Sincerely,

I see you.

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