An Open Letter To The Guy Who Accidentally Touched My Boob

December 11, 2012  |  

Dear Guy, who decided that admiring my necklace from a far wasn’t sufficient enough therefore just had to get a closer look by reaching out and grabbing the charm on my chain and opps…brushing up against my boob (s) in the process,

You ain’t slick.

You see I have been hip to the game for a while. And you may think you are distracting me with questions, like, “what kind of stone is this?” or “do you know what these symbols mean?” but that has never been sufficient cover for the fact that your hand not only brushed against my right boob but is still lingering mere inches away from the left one. Trust me I notice.  Believe me, I noticed. And I am tad bit annoyed by it.

Listen, I know how hard it is navigating around my double Ds. I don’t care if I have a tight turtle neck, a well fitted button down or a loose sweatshirt, they still manage to be the center of attention. Even at times when I don’t want them to be like at a job interview a few years back, when the buttons on my top gave way, exposing my zebra print push-up to a very bashful human resource manager. I’m surprised I didn’t get the job because, not to toot my own horn, but my breast are pretty nice.

And I try to be tolerant when I catch your eyes wondering below my moving lips to the chest region. I saw and ignored you when you did the side glance down my v-neck. They are big and distracting. Heck sometimes when I’m looking in mirror, I too get overwhelmed at how wonderful my breasts are. But when you cross over that threshold from sneaking peeks to actually making physical contact with the wonder twins, by way of the ole “lemme see your chain” routine, we got a problem.

Yeah I know, it was an accident and you didn’t mean it. You were truly interested in “seeing” the charm on my necklace. And this is as awkward for you as it is for me. But you know what would have totally prevented this awkwardness between us from happening? If you would consider asking permission first before reaching out and touching me, especially anywhere near my chest area.  If asking permission is too much for you to handle, well then for now on I will be sure to assume you meant to violate my personal space, take offense and call you out on your slickster, pervy ways.


I see you.

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  • Brandon

    Unreal ? I am a muscular man and i get stared at all the time.
    Women fondle me (occasionally) and i guess i should be
    “tolerant” ( but a tad bit annoyed) when a woman looks at my
    chest and shoulders. Maybe i should sue ?

  • I think if a guy has the audacity to “accidentally” touch a girls breast she has the right to “deliberately” slap the piss out of him. How many times you momma done told you to look but don’t touch? I am a guy and i approve this statement.

    • Brandon

      LOL! Maybe i should slap the women that admire and then touch my chest and shoulders !
      If a woman slapped me for ” accidentally” touching her chest i would be in prison
      and she would be dead ! I have to be honest your attitude(one who wrote the peace) sounds much like the typical American woman who think’s she’s all that and is anything but.
      Watch out Girlfriend your risking your life !

      • Nathan Lee

        Brandon the key word here is “accidently”. You no the difference between and accident and an “accident”.

  • hi, its me…

    So what i got out of this story is that you have amazing breast… Now the lesson for you is to stop wearing necklaces, lol!

  • C’mon son

    Does that mean you weren’t offended enough this time to set him straight, even knowing what the deal was? This article only seemed written as an opportunity for you to go on and on about how awesome your breasts are; overwhelming even to yourself. *Rolls eyes* Next.

  • Ronilove

    From one blessed girl to another: Sometimes brushes are just brushes. Like I told one of my student’s parents (who has 9 children between elementary, middle, and high on the same campus) when she complained about getting too many calls from the school: Its kinda one of the things you should expect when you have 9 children. I can’t promise we would call because you have 9 children, it comes with the territory. I’m not going to even talk to the teachers because you have 9 kids. (Then I called her about 2 hours later because one of the kids did what kids do.)

    Things that pertrude will get brushed–but it sounds like you should have slapped his hand back when he even reached for your necklace. But, you got to write an article complaining about something that you know you love…win-win.

    • ronilove

      meant: won’t call

  • Ms_Mara

    Moral of the story: Do not wear a push-up bra to a job interview?

  • Allyce

    Perhaps if she wore a better fitting bra and less revealing shirt she would not have attracted the attention she did not want. I blame the clothing manufacturers that are producing low cut shirts and everyone has to wear a camisole with. You don’t have to buy what does not fit. Pass for something more appropriate. I see women in offices who are well-endowed showing too much cleavage at work. No one needs to see what the top of your breasts look like. It’s not a cute look. It’s a thirsty look.

    • Ms. Kameria

      Confused?…..Are you blaming clothing manufacturers for producing clothes that are cut too low, or are you blaming the women who buy and wear them knowing they don’t fit? Not trying to be condescending, or funny, just wanted clarification.

    • realadulttalk

      My best friend is KK–there is no hiding that. Your comment seems to come from someone who can only envision a realm of breasts from A to D.

  • MLS2698

    IDk. Maybe he had bad depth perception and didn’t realize their circumference. It’s called ” Titay Aptitude Perception.” Short…. TAP……cause that’s what he did!

  • Ladybug94

    Crazy. If he did it intentionally it was not an accident and who let’s someone in their personal space like that, especially a guy you’re not dating.

  • I don’t get it. Did you set him straight for touching you inappropriately or did you just go home and write this passive agressive letter? I’m lost.

    • bluekissess

      I’m really trying not to be rude but it’s kinda funny. Not saying anything can mean it can be done again. This article isn’t informing at all.

      • Lola Frozen

        I totally agree, if someone did that to me, i would be pissed. and she just let him go on and indulge while she just stood back and explained about her bracelet?

  • bluekissess

    Women complain to much just be thankful that a man wants to touch you. If you don’t like it tell the sucka how you feel. I’m sure writing this letter is a release but guess what? He won’t probably read it.

    • hollyw

      Hahaa ^THIS^ one is definitely a troll. Keep it movin, folks…

      • bluekissess

        A troll? I don’t understand ebonics. I honestly thought that this was a tragic story. I have big breast just take pride and realize that men are gonna look.

        • 1948WantsTheirMentalityBack

          (Sighing as I roll my eyes). You again? Ebonics “ain’t” the only thing you clearly fail to properly process. Your grammer probably gave your English teacher the ‘blues’ (all pun intended). “I have big breast”. Okay, Cavewoman Ja’nette… You are villifying the author for expressing her discomfort at a pervert’s boundary issues and physical contact violation committed. “Just be thankful that a man wants to touch you”? Really, Bluekisses? Really?#ThankGodYouAINTASchoolteacher#

          • bluekissess

            If you must know I’ve done pretty well in school. Dean’s List, Honor Roll and maintaining a 4.0 GPA throughout my school career. Your right I’m NOT a teacher I’d rather save life’s in a hospital. And why do you care? This is by far the dumbest letter I’ve seen on this website. If she felt violated why didn’t she call the police? She had time to get a sheet of paper, a pen, gather her thoughts and write down what she felt? I guess we both have an English problem because you didn’t comprehend my last response to you. I’m a “troll’ because I thought this letter was ridiculous? She isn’t the only one with a “big breast problem.” People in Africa are starving, residents in Egypt are protesting and killing people and the U.S is fighting over a fiscal cliff. Her “breast” issues aren’t important if they were she would’ve called the police or told the idiot who “touched her” that was inappropriate. I thank you for being the MN grammer police. I’m sure they pay you well. Oh, by the way why must you use hashtags on a website besides twitter? You thanking god that I’m not a school teacher probably won’t be a trending topic.

            • Lola Frozen

              I cant help but agree with you, i seriously just was nodding my head up and down in approval. 😀

  • Miss_Understood

    Well writing this article will surely stop people from paying attention to your tig ol bitties

  • sabrina

    I wish I can relate, girl. I’m barely pushing an A so my chest isn’t really a cause of distraction. Anyone willing to hook a sister up?

    • realadulttalk

      You sound like me. Although I have had men look down my shirt–I just never understood what they hoped to find.