Dear Kenya Moore, It Would Be Great If You Could Stop Feeding Into The Desperate Single Woman Stereotype

December 11, 2012  |  

I generally don’t subscribe to the, “they’re making us look bad” school of thinking when it comes to reality TV stars, but watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta Sunday night, I couldn’t help but feel some type of way, specifically, that way. As I watched 41-year-old Kenya Moore practically beg for somebody to put a ring on it and knock her up at the same damn time, I couldn’t help but think, bump the image of black women, what are you saying about single ladies everywhere?

That frustration has only been magnified by the recent development from Kenya’s faux boo Walter who just confessed that their on-screen relationship is about as real as Kim Zolciak’s hair. Truthfully, although I was hoping no one was in a relationship that lackluster, this information only makes Kenya’s character, which she is in the truest sense of the word, more pathetic than we initially thought, and I can’t help but ask why she chose this, of all images, to portray when she signed up for RHOA.

It’s one thing to be as desperate as she appears to be and not know better than to show that on actual TV. It’s quite another to play that role, as a supposed force in the LA film scene and a D-list actress, when it’s not really who you are. Yes, I know Kenya’s parts have mostly been relegated to strippers and the trois in a menage but of all the things she could have been on this show, why choose the stereotypical man/baby crazy old hag?

On one hand, I’m probably expecting too much from this woman. After all, she is on reality TV. But on the flip side, why are you boasting about all of your accomplishments, from winning Miss USA to owning your own production company, just to throw that respectable legacy away for the sake of, maybe, a couple hundred thousand dollars? For one, I can pretty much guarantee no one will be asking her crazy, thirsty, no boundaries having self to participate in any charity events going forward after witnesings her rude behavior and uppity attitude at Porsha Stewart’s fundraiser. And wo, any man who would even think about getting with Kenya in real life after watching her this season of the show is nothing less than a fool. Very few people can play crazy that well, hence I can only concluded that some of that desperation she’s displaying has to be real.

Prior to watching this season of the RHOA, I’ve only heard women like Kenya exist. And since I’ve yet to cross any in my personal path, I’m going to continue to assume women like her are few and far between – or at least not nutty enough to think flirting with other men in front of your (fake) man is going to make him put a ring on it. Though there are plenty of single women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who are longing for the day someone makes them their wife and a little one calls them “mommy,” these women are able to function normally in society. They realize dropping non-subtle baby hints every two minutes in a conversation is not becoming, and an impromptu ring-size drop is no insurance that you’ll actually be receiving one, and that jealousy is not the key to a man’s heart.  There are plenty of single, baby-less women who also know the world doesn’t stop just because they haven’t filled these desires; therefore their wish for those things doesn’t determine their every move or creep into every discussion. Further, there are a slew of women who are in Kenya’s age range and have not hit these personal milestones because they are waiting on the right one or the right time, rather than trying to force it as she is. In all actuality, it should be quite clear to all of us that she is playing a role because the way she functions in her aloneness is simple not characteristic of most women in her predicament and for that I am very grateful. I just hope there aren’t too many men watching her act a donkey every week, and fueling their belief that all single women over a certain age are crazy. Here’s to the rest of us non-desperate single women balancing her craziness out.

Are you frustrated by Kenya Moore’s  representation of a single woman with no kids?

Brande Victorian is the deputy editor for Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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