Dear Kenya Moore, It Would Be Great If You Could Stop Feeding Into The Desperate Single Woman Stereotype

December 11, 2012  |  

Source: WENN

I generally don’t subscribe to the, “they’re making us look bad” school of thinking when it comes to reality TV stars, but watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta Sunday night, I couldn’t help but feel some type of way, specifically, that way. As I watched 41-year-old Kenya Moore practically beg for somebody to put a ring on it and knock her up at the same damn time, I couldn’t help but think, bump the image of black women, what are you saying about single ladies everywhere?

That frustration has only been magnified by the recent development from Kenya’s faux boo Walter who just confessed that their on-screen relationship is about as real as Kim Zolciak’s hair. Truthfully, although I was hoping no one was in a relationship that lackluster, this information only makes Kenya’s character, which she is in the truest sense of the word, more pathetic than we initially thought, and I can’t help but ask why she chose this, of all images, to portray when she signed up for RHOA.

It’s one thing to be as desperate as she appears to be and not know better than to show that on actual TV. It’s quite another to play that role, as a supposed force in the LA film scene and a D-list actress, when it’s not really who you are. Yes, I know Kenya’s parts have mostly been relegated to strippers and the trois in a menage but of all the things she could have been on this show, why choose the stereotypical man/baby crazy old hag?

On one hand, I’m probably expecting too much from this woman. After all, she is on reality TV. But on the flip side, why are you boasting about all of your accomplishments, from winning Miss USA to owning your own production company, just to throw that respectable legacy away for the sake of, maybe, a couple hundred thousand dollars? For one, I can pretty much guarantee no one will be asking her crazy, thirsty, no boundaries having self to participate in any charity events going forward after witnesings her rude behavior and uppity attitude at Porsha Stewart’s fundraiser. And wo, any man who would even think about getting with Kenya in real life after watching her this season of the show is nothing less than a fool. Very few people can play crazy that well, hence I can only concluded that some of that desperation she’s displaying has to be real.

Prior to watching this season of the RHOA, I’ve only heard women like Kenya exist. And since I’ve yet to cross any in my personal path, I’m going to continue to assume women like her are few and far between – or at least not nutty enough to think flirting with other men in front of your (fake) man is going to make him put a ring on it. Though there are plenty of single women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who are longing for the day someone makes them their wife and a little one calls them “mommy,” these women are able to function normally in society. They realize dropping non-subtle baby hints every two minutes in a conversation is not becoming, and an impromptu ring-size drop is no insurance that you’ll actually be receiving one, and that jealousy is not the key to a man’s heart.  There are plenty of single, baby-less women who also know the world doesn’t stop just because they haven’t filled these desires; therefore their wish for those things doesn’t determine their every move or creep into every discussion. Further, there are a slew of women who are in Kenya’s age range and have not hit these personal milestones because they are waiting on the right one or the right time, rather than trying to force it as she is. In all actuality, it should be quite clear to all of us that she is playing a role because the way she functions in her aloneness is simple not characteristic of most women in her predicament and for that I am very grateful. I just hope there aren’t too many men watching her act a donkey every week, and fueling their belief that all single women over a certain age are crazy. Here’s to the rest of us non-desperate single women balancing her craziness out.

Are you frustrated by Kenya Moore’s  representation of a single woman with no kids?

Brande Victorian is the deputy editor for Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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  • Yo

    I really wish that she would just go away.

  • Aspen

    She is one of the most THIRSTY chick, I have seen in a while. What a pathetic choice for the Housewives franchise…..

  • myla

    she needs to get on invitro bangwagon and have a baby

  • Yay!

    This might be one of the SILLIEST open letters! She isn’t the first “housewife” to be desperate for marriage/children or to be inappropriate with married men. Regardless if Kenya’s antics are real or fake, there are a lot of women who feel like her in the world. Good or bad I like the diversity of personalities on ATL Housewives. Most Bravo watchers do too, considering ATL is the highest rated of the Housewives shows. To be honest, I much rather women of Kenya’s income bracket desperate for family, than the popular single parent situations. No shade.

  • Cleo

    And she is gonna continue to feed into the stereotype too because no man is gonna marry her butt

  • Lola

    How a highly regarded woman can go from Miss. USA to a tacky reality TV “star” is beyond me. I once admired her greatly; her regression is a sad, pathetic sight to behold.

    • Ouch

      Omarosa is the poster child for leaving a respectable life for the integrity-free life of a tacky reality “star”.

  • Nikki

    She can’t help it. She IS a desperate single woman. She wants kids and those eggs aren’t going to fertilize themselves. Judging by Kenya’s character on the show, she would be one of those moms that runs around like a chicken without its head.

  • Kitsy

    I think some of Kenya’s antics are “made for TV”. After all, she is an actress and now we’ve learned that the relationship with Walter was a total farce. However, I do understand that there are women like her – maybe not as dramatic and over-the-top – but they do exist.

  • ReGeniOus

    Totally agree. For someone to be so “successful” she certainly does not exude confidence, leadership or empowerment in a manner that I would ever admire or look up to. Additionally, any woman who would aggressively shatter the spirits & disrespect other black woman in a modeling audition (ON AIR) is absolutely disgusting to me. Though, her behavior as a guest panel for the Jet Beauty of the Week, was not mentioned in this article. It’s just another thing, in addition to her man-baby desperation that gives her TWO THUMBS DOWN in my book!

    • NikkitaMichelle

      Okay, why are we considering her so successful? Is it because she won Miss USA 20 years ago. Your biggest accomplishment should not be something you did in your twenties, when you’re over 40. What has she done since then, but a few cameos in real movies and lead roles in straight to dvd flicks. Let’s be honest if she was so successful she wouldn’t have become a housewife to revamp her down spiraling career. I truly don’t mean any harm to this woman nor am I trying to hate on her, but she brought the harsh criticism on herself with her bad behavior.

      • Nikki

        She has a successful production company. She’s mentioned it on the show before. She’s supposed to produce that donkey booty work out DVD.

        • pretty1908

          why purschase a dvd from a woman who admits to not wanting to sweat while working out…and im sticking to jillian micheals or that insanity guy….yes phaedrra has donkey booty with a cow stomach ill pass

          • pretty1908


          • Nikki

            It’s just to support the sales of the DVD and give it a try. Phaedra is my favorite housewife. I will never stop loving Jillian Michaels and Chalean Johnson.

        • NikkitaMichelle

          Winning a beauty pageant on that scale is a huge accomplishment. But I look at like women who had awesome figures in their twenties and now at forty look more like circles, but keep talking about how fine they used to be. What have you done lately. You need to google her production company, because I have. She volunteered to produce Phaedra’s project because she hasn’t produced anything since 2010. But I guess successful is relative.

  • pretty1908

    Can we please get women of all ages to stop feeding into this stereotype ? I get it ! We all want a family but begging, manipulating, force feeding, and going to frenzy over it is tasteless and harmful to both parties. I am 26, I know women currently getting off birth control and joining accounts, but no one has proposed . Now , I am for claiming blessings and I support people who want to do the right thing, but jesus is it that serious?I want to be married, but I am no turning my life and his upside to down just to have it.