Real Talk: The Difference Between Compromising For A Relationship And Compromising Yourself

December 17, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin


"Young black couple pf"


You and your man are two different people. You have two different minds, you’ve had two different days and so, sometimes, you’ll need different things. It’s natural in any relationship to pass on things you want, to let things run smoothly but there is a difference between compromising for the relationship, and compromising who you are. A pretty easy indication that the latter is happening is that your stomach dropped a little when you read that. But here are some other situations in which you can find the difference.

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  • christine

    Women need to respect themselves enough to know that they deserve better than what other black women have, specifically, those who try to please a black man who fantasizes hugely himself as to what a woman of color should look/act like…Don’t settle, as the ad on TV says, you’re worth it!

  • David Larose

    So why isn’t hot legs Tina Turner on the list?

  • Pingback: Life, More Blissful: When, Why and How You Should Compromise | Project Blissful()

  • Ooh La La

    You should never air out the details of your relationship to anyone not in that relationship. Aside from trust and communication, I feel discretion is the major factor in all strong relationships.

  • KIR12

    Bottom line… For baby mammas over 30 and all women over 35 the word settling changes to the word compromise. Most end up with half the man they could have had in y’oure twenties or no man at all. Pick your husband while you’re in your prime

    MN really needs to get rid of all the pages no one wants to nor has time to click throw all that

    • Nope

      “Most end up with half the man they could have had in you’re twenties or no man at all.”

      Exactly. Too many women hold their cards far too long in a futile search for a man that measures up to the fantasy man and relationship they’ve had in their heads for most of their lives. By the time they realize (if the ever really do) the difference between their fantasy and reality, the decent men that were within reach have moved on.

      • Miss Anonymous

        Well it does kinda depends. If I wouldnt have held onto my cards I would ended up with a soilder who spends money like toilet paper and still sleeps with his ex at my prime (at 19). I attracted alot of bums and guys with kids in my early 20’s who wanted me to play step mom to their kids or thought it was great that I would be making alot of money in my career field. Im entering my mid 20’s and finally met a decent guy who is my fantasy guy. Lol yall have no idea how many times I was told that a black guy with no kids, a good head on his shoulders and dont cheat doesnt exist. I was told to except cheating and just be a step mama and that was coming from married women, “as long as he didnt bring a uncurable std and took care of home first everything is good”.

        • Nope

          I see what you’re saying, but mid 20’s is still relatively young. You’re still on the edges of your prime years. I’m more specifically talking about women in their late 20’s and beyond. The fact their fantasy is… well just a fantasy is basically a huge paradigm shift. A lot of women get finally get introduced to reality and have to learn about it pretty much from scratch when they’re already past their prime. And I’m not talking about bum dudes, I mean the fact that no man is nor can be the man (basically Jesus) that they have in mind.

    • GeekMommaRants

      So getting an education is off the page? Everyone do not get educated get married? Really?