How Cutting Technology Out For One Week Could Improve Your Relationship
With every tech advancement, something is gained but something is lost. You can say that, in a way, our relationships have suffered because of technology. Although social media has helped to speed up dating and courting processess, it certainly has taken its toll on actual relationships. If you’re in a stable relationship right now, chances are that it is probably being a little drained by distractions. In order to get things back in balance, it’s time to take a break. Here are ways your relationship could be improved if you just took one week off from tweets, texts and anything with pressable buttons.
You have to tell him everything
You can’t passive aggressively post about your anger on Facebook or Tweet about it if you don’t have access to those platforms. Sometimes we avoid just telling our partner what’s up, because we have multiple other outlets—and I mean that in the technical term—by which to release our anger. When those outlets are gone, you’ll be forced to actually communicate instantly when issues arise.
You have to keep your dates
Some silly but tempting activity comes up—your boss asks you to work late, your friends invite you to drink all night—and you almost text your guy to say, “Hey, can’t hang out tonight…” but guess what? You can’t text him that! Because you’re not using technology right now. So if you do bail, he’ll just be sitting around wondering why you stood him up. Without the option to postpone, cancel or reschedule things at our fingertips all the time, we’re forced to stick to our commitments!
You’ll feel more included in his life
Research has found that Facebook promotes jealousy in relationships. Not because people are flirting on there, but because one partner has to watch pretty much every part of their partner’s life, that they are not a part of, take place on Facebook. Pictures posted from events you weren’t at with your partner, inside jokes posted by friends you’ve never even heard of, a video relating to the hobby that your partner doesn’t include you in, etc. It’s okay that your partner has parts of his life you’re not involved in, but watching details of that can promote a feeling of distance.
You’ll have more to actually talk about
Some of us update our partners on every story and emotion and funny happening of the day as they happen, via technology, leaving nothing to be shared once you’re actually together. Take out the middleman and you have to wait to be around each other to talk about your day. And that’s good for you.
You’ll see if you can be bored together
Some couples don’t realize how much their relationship depends on video games, movies, Netflix, phone games, Facebook apps—you name it! There are so many moments in life when these come in handy like car trips, standing in line at the store, waiting at the airport, sitting in the doctor’s office. The list is endless but you may have no idea whether or not you and your partner could actually be happy together, even in the dull parts of life, without that technology. And that is a real test of your love.
You’ll get more work done
Do you ever come home from work feeling guilty you could have gotten more done that day? Perhaps if you hadn’t spent so much time on Facebook or Gmail Chat or Twitter…and that guilt affects the way you treat your partner. Maybe you’re cold, dismissive or just a downer. Who hasn’t been there?! But if you cut out the technology, you could feel more proud of your productivity, and more ready to just relax and enjoy your partner’s company when you get home.
You’ll have more sex
How many times have you said, “Just after this movie” and then “Just after I finish sending this email” and then “Oh sorry, I’m too tired for sex now…” Probably a lot because all you’ve been drained by all your work and social media activity. You end up being more worried about getting enough sleep than getting off.
You won’t compare your relationship to others (as much)
On Facebook you are bombarded with cute posts that couples tag each other in, pictures of couples getting married/on vacation/giving each other expensive gifts. We don’t mean to compare our relationship to others, but sometimes we can’t help it! Even when you feel in your heart that your relationship is good and healthy and meaningful, your heart loses the battle to that little voice that says, “But that woman’s boyfriend took her on vacation…look at that picture of their hotel!”
You’ll see how loving you really are
Without emoticons, cute YouTube videos and Ecards, can you really express yourselves? Are you truly comfortable with physically saying the words, “I love you” or “I care about you” as much as you would otherwise Tweet, text, email or Facebook those sentiments? It’s time you find out!
You’ll engage more in your own life
A happy relationship consists of two happy individuals, and to be a happy individual you need to dedicate regular time to the things that make you happy—just you, alone. But, you’re not totally engaged in girl’s night, or your evening class, or your dinner with your mother if you’re constantly checking your phone. Even though it was your choice to grab that phone, later you feel like you didn’t get the most out of your experience. And then you’re unhappy not only with yourself, but with your relationship. Cutting out the technology means you’re totally present in whatever you’re doing.
You have to think before you speak
A good chunk of what we say, tweet, text, email, Facebook etc…we wish we had never put out there. But, in the moment, we really want to say it, and we can at that exact moment due to technology. Whether it’s information your man just doesn’t need to know, or some mean words, those words have to be thought about for hours if you don’t have a phone or computer to contact your man with. You have to wait until you actually see him, at which point your emotions may have worn off, and you’ll realize it’s better to keep quiet.
You have to use your adventurous side
You can’t make any reservations because phones and computers are off limits. You can’t check to see if a certain destination is open. You can’t even check what the weather is going to be. All you can do is decide what you both feel like doing right now, and go try to do it. And if life throws you curveballs like rain or a two-hour wait at a restaurant, you’ll just have to deal. But that’s the fun part! You get to see one another’s ability to improvise and go with the flow.
Your ideas about love will be more realistic
Relationships in movies and television are rarely realistic. But, since most of the relationships you’re regularly exposed to probably are on your favorite shows, you subconsciously start to believe that every couple has that witty banter all the time, or that electric sex every night, or that charged conversation daily. Without all that in front of you, you’ll get back to realizing what real love is like: not always perfect, exciting, electric, or passionate. But it’s your relationship. And it works for you.
Moments won’t be ruined
Admit it: in most of your life, you look for pictures or posts that your friends and followers will just eat up on your social media platforms. When something hysterical, frightening or touching happens, you jump at the chance to photograph it, write about it and post about it. Your moments with your man are constantly interrupted by, “Hold on. I gotta tweet that!” And then it takes five minutes for Twitter to open on your phone, for you to correct the Tweet three times, and for it to finally load. And the moment you were just enjoying with your man is gone.