‘Hold On To Your Weaves!’ RHOA Episode 6 Recap

December 10, 2012  |  

Andy Cohen and the Bravo team deserve a round of applause for their casting work because they totally knew what they were doing when they brought on Kenya Moore this season. Every week I watch her antics and think, is this chick for real? And then I quietly shed a tear for single women everywhere who are likely being slapped with the bat ish crazy label just because one thirsty bird can’t go 30 seconds without mentioning the m-word or pushing up on the first semi-attractive man she sees. Unfortunately for the Real Housewives of Atlanta crew, Miss USA’s desperation isn’t limited to the ATL, in fact it only gets worse once she steps out of her element and on to the exotic island of Anguila. Check out the foolishness that popped off between her and the rest of the cast on last night’s episode.

Peter has a man crush

Last night Peter was the epitome of a groupie when he not only convinced his wife to invite Porsha and her husband out to dinner so he could dine with a real-life football player, but he also caught a ‘tude when Cordell didn’t show up and he was forced to eat with two ladies, one being his wife, and no NFLer. The perpetually suspect Peter only had a change in mood when Cynthia invited the Stewarts to vacay with them in Anguilla, and the thirst on Peter’s face when Cordell arrived at the airport was so incredibly real.

“I’m going on vacation with a real-life superstar!” Yes, Peter, and he also puts his pants on one leg at a time just like a real boy. He doesn’t even get that excited about his own wife.

Someone mistakenly thought they were going to get engaged

Someone should have started a tip jar for every marriage reference Kenya made during last night’s episode alone. This chick had the nerve to say maybe someone will get proposed to on this trip while they were getting ready for take-off; then when the crew passed a diamond hotel, she told Walter he needed to be going to the mall that has some actual diamonds in it; and then she went on to tell big Walter style that they should just stay in Anguilla and elope. Why? Because it would relieve the stress of their relationship. What’s hilarious is she’s the only one stressing — all in the name of a ring — which is why she can’t sit still for two seconds without mentioning a wedding and kids. I’m tempted to think that when Walter asked her if she’d taken her meds today when she cried over not having a hot tub, he wasn’t joking.

Phaedra ain’t got time for bacterial vaginosis

I don’t know anyone who really does, but last night Mrs. Parks gave us all a lesson in hot tub safety when she called her OBGYN to school Apollo on the health risks involved with soaking your body in a pool of water with other pepe’s and va jay jays. It’s not often that you walk away from RHOA with knowledge you can actually use so kudos to Phaedra for keeping her honeypot sweet and clean. The real question, though, is are these two really planning on having another baby? Inquiring dunkologists want to know.

Ain’t no shame in Kenya’s game…but there should be

Only a true thirstball would admit this, and that Kenya is, as we witnessed her bounce her 41-year-old I want somebody, anybody to put a ring on it behind around Anguilla. I’m surprised she made it back from the Island because after putting one too many hands on Apollo I thought for sure Kandi’s assumption was going to come true and Phaedra was going to taze the mess out of her. What’s interesting is though the cast newbie has since tried to claim that she has no interest in anybody’s man, she way too proudly proclaimed in her confessional that there is no shame in her game when it comes to flirting with men — available or not. Perhaps she wasn’t familiar with Phaedra’s zero tolerance policy: “You can dance, you can model your shoes, you can show me your cervix, but please don’t put your paws on Apollo.”

Phaedra brings out the donkey booty

Just in case Kenya might have been catching Apollo’s eye, Phaedra reminded him what he has at home with a thong and see-through sarong no-less. A lot of people were mad at Phaedra, thinking what woman of her age and position would roll around in pubvlic like that but I’m not mad at her for bringing out the big buns, er, guns. Sometimes you gotta let a brotha — and a sistah — know what’s up.

Kenya rubs her funky booty against Peter’s genitalia

Phaedra’s words, not mine, but oh so appropriate. I know everyone was caught up in the moment after the island dancers showed the ladies some moves but you know when you’re bouncing it up on your man or someone else’s. The problem is, Kenya doesn’t care. I’m sure her excuse would be, “it was the liquor”  but I’m pretty sure she would have dropped it like it was hot on Peter regardless of how many cocktails she had or not. I guess that’s what you do when your own “man” doesn’t even want you to give him a lapdance.

And Peter is not on it

Unfortunately for Kenya, her booty popping led her to receive a double dose of rejection. Last night she went on Twitter to explain her behavior that night and said:

“No one was touching@PeterThomasRHOA ask him @CynthiaBailey10 wasn’t complaining.#RHOA

Don’t lie Kenya, you had that “look, ma no hands” move down pat and if Cynthia wasn’t complaining, Peter was. He went on Twitter at the same time to say:

I didn’t ask that woman to do that,that was uncomfortable

That’s why I was looking in the other direction the whole time that woman was bend over in front of me

She was bugging all night

The only woman I want is my woman,that’s why I am married to her, love her.

Ouch.

Nene tries to be a lowkey freak on camera

One of the funnier moments of the night was Nene trying to get her undercover freak on. The RHOA vet knows how this thing goes so I don’t know why she thought she would be able to whisper to Gregg and not have the production team overhear, but it was so cute when she asked Gregg if he loved her and then said “Why are you holding back.” Unfortunately Papa Leakes killed the mood when she had to ask that question 12 times and he still didn’t get her point. She wanted some lovin’ fool! If he wants that house key he’s been begging for all season he better get with the program — or at least a hearing aid.

Ultimate jealousy fail

At the end of last night’s episode things somewhat came full circle in the Kenya Moore thirstogy and we sort of understood why she was ready to bust it open for just about anyone on the island, from Apollo to Peter, to the random Filipino man she wanted to convince would make cute babies with a black woman: She wanted to make Walter jealous. Unfortunately for her Walter has adopted the Tommy Strawn philosophy on their relationship — don’t give a damn doooog– and basically had a K. Michelle, zero f**ks given, attitude the entire trip. I mean he choked when she mentioned marriage. The sad part is I don’t think Walter was responding that way because he knew what she was doing, he acted like that because he genuinely doesn’t care. Ain’t no ring in your future baby.

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  • Jayla

    Kenya too old to be that parched. She should always keep a straw on her because she is so thirsty! Damn it was plenty of water in Anguilla.

  • I come to Madame Noire because I thought some of you women had some type of sense but clearly you’re as one sided as the people you bash on Bossip! Kenya may have been flirting with married men… But those same married men were flirting with her. shes not alone in that! Now Kenya can flirt all day but THEY entertained it. When will some of you figure out that if its that easy to take his attention WHILE YOU’RE WITH HIM… Its not going to be hard for that other woman to bed him. Don’t blame Kenya for having a sick talk game! Shes in a forced situation and she really is not any of these women’s friends. She owes them and their men nothing more then a smile and wave. And as for Walter, Kenya knew what she was doing! “You play my boyfriend your towing company will get all the promotion it needs.” News Flash, Walter’s business has YET to pick up so what else would he do? He’d try to make Kenya look thirsty, but I highly doubt that highly respected people out in LA, NY and ATL would still rock with Kenya if she was really that bad.

    • littleoleme

      I absolutely agree with you about Kenya not being the only one to blame for the flirting that went on. If I were Phaedra I would have hurt Apollo. The way he picked her up- hands all on her behind and what not- he was straight tripping. Not cool Apollo. However, Kenya needs to respect the relationships of other people. She owes them more than a smile and a wave. Respecting other people’s relationships is crucial. You just don’t come at a married or involved person like they are fair game. No Ms. Kenya, get your life.

      • She owes Phaedra NOTHING. Why because at the end of the day APOLLO allowed her to come at him a certain way and Phaedra allowed it to! That could have been shut down without hesitation but Phaedra didn’t want to break character and we all know that Phaedra is probably paying Apollo for the D. simple fact of the matter is… KENYA CANNOT DISRESPECT ANYONES RELATIONSHIP IF SHE IS NOT GIVEN THE PERMISSION TO DO SO. IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO RESPECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP YOU RESPECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP ENOUGH TO LET A WOMAN LIKE KENYA KNOW “YOU TRY IT WITH MY MAN AGAIN YOU WON’T HAVE NO TEETH CAUSE I’M KNOCKIN EM DOWN YOUR THROAT”

    • Ms. missy

      Thats whats wrong with us now, no integrity, everybody out for self. Thats like saying if u went to the bank and they had 500$ on th counter, its ok to take it. Girl please, friend or not, married men should be off limits no matter what. U think God cares if the married man was flirting with u??? Ummm no, u have to answer for your own actions. Smh at simple minded fools.

      • littleoleme

        Thank you. Respect what belongs to someone else. We learned treat others as you want to be treated in kindergarten. If you wouldn’t want anyone to disrespect your relationship you do not disrespect theirs.

      • God aside, you shouldn’t fool around with married men because YOU value yourself enough not to mess with morally bankrupt men who would forsake his promise to remain true to his wife, the one woman he is supposed to love , to get some side action from you. I mean if he did it to her why wouldn’t he do that to you?

    • kierah

      Kenya went out of her way to flirt with these men. The men did not initiate the flirting with her. She admitted that there was no shame in her game. Whether she was friends with these people or not, she knew they were married and it was disrespectful to these marriage, to her date, and to herself.
      As the poster said above, Kenya talks about wanting marriage but has no respect for the institution.

      Phaedra didn’t jump on Kenya because Phaedra is actually a lawyer. She is not going to jeopardize her true career (and bar membership) on this show. After this show she still needs to be in good standing to practice.
      And newsflash, Miss Kenya used to get the ballers but clearly the word is out on her and she is forced to scrap the bottom of the barrel to get Walter.

    • Any broad brazen enough to flirt with a married man in FRONT of his wife is either gotta be bat shyt crazy, or itchin for an azz whippin. I think Kenya suffers from both. To address what you said about the married men flirting back, true that, but she’s the only middle-aged thirsty ding bat debasing herself by coming off as a goofy tramp. If that’s the look she’s going for then she ought to stick to what she’s doing. SHE’S the one thirsting for a ring and if what she is doing was working for her surely somebodies husband would have taken her off the market by now. The fact is it don’t work because marriage minded men wouldn’t wife up an idiot like that. Maybe screw her and string her along but definitely not give her their last name.

  • Miss Jay

    How about we give Kenya another pageant title since Miss USA was awhile ago, “Miss Thirsty and Desperate for a Husband and some Babies,” 2012. Here’s your sash, roses, cue the band and now exit stage left.

    • kierah

      Maybe her prizes should be a wedding ring, some Clomid, and a free round of IVF.

  • See if Phaedra would have checked Kenya’s azz the 1st time she said some inappropriate ish to Apollo it wouldn’t have gotten to that point. With that said, there are good reasons why she isn’t married and is chasing Walter’s Shrek faced azz.

  • Ms.Missy

    Kenya is one of those women u have to ignore, she gets off when other women get angry about her antics. Poor thing, no man, no children. Smh. She is an intense need for attention, obvious mental issues. Phaedra did right, showing off that dunk!!!! I bet both apollo and kenya was looking, lol.

  • Ms.Missy

    Kenya is one of those women u have to ignore, she gets off when other women get angry about her antics. Poor thing, no man, no children. Smh. She is an intense need for attention, obvious mental issues. Phaedra did right, showing off that dunk!!!! I bet both apollo and kenya was looking, lol.

  • Ann

    Walter is not going to marry Kenya. As foolish as he is, after Kenya been showing her behind and acting ignorant, he is not going to marry her. If he does it will surprise me.

  • kierah

    Forget old school – I’m going Old Testament on Kenya. She is a JEZEBEL!
    Take a Xanax and calm the eff down on other women’s men. Phaedra is a fool if she continues to keep company with Kenya. Fine if you want to make your man jealous, but you don’t use a friend’s man to do that. That stuff will get you shot, or at least grazed.

  • Jayla

    If I was Phaedra I would have sprayed Kenya’s face with some Proactiv and hit that Will Smith back up back up mind yo business that’s all!

  • Gimmeabreak78

    There is nothing sadder than watching a woman in her 40s throw herself at random men like a drunk 21-year old in a bar. Seeing Kenya embarrass herself last night was really sad. My television reeked of desperation and shattered dreams when she was on. SMH.

  • Ms_Mara

    Kenya needs to sit down somewhere. She was the doing the most and she wasn’t even invited on the trip! How do you invite yourself on a Caribbean trip with a bunch of folks you hardly know and then act the fool? At least be gracious. And stay out of other men’s faces.

    • Its called plot development. Remember Marlow from last season invited herself too.

      • Ms_Mara

        Yep, and Marlo was doin the most on that trip too. lol

    • realadulttalk

      Kenya-gracious? Yeah right!! She wasn’t invited and wonders why she got a jr. suite–I’d have had her in a single occupancy room.

  • What a disappointment it is to know that Kenya is like this…

  • Laine

    Loved this episode! I laughed the whole time….! However, am I the only one that did not like the way Nene, Cynthia and Kenya danced suggestively in front of those Anguillan teens…???

    • JaneDoe

      Did yo usee the way those teens were dancing themselves? They are the ones that got that party started

    • Ms_Mara

      I think they were kinda piggybacking off of the moves the girls had just done.

    • Laine

      Yes, but those teens were not grinding against men… !What the women did was way more suggestive! But I loved this episode… !

  • realadulttalk

    I can’t with all the clicks–and I don’t see mention of Kim and her n*ggas slip up in the comments section.

    • Ms_Mara

      Wait, what?! I know she didn’t! She needs her wig pushed back for that one!

      • realadulttalk

        Kim had already called the cast b*tches–she said something about those “iggas” they bleeped the word, but iggas came through. I can’t think of another word she could have called them.

      • Negress

        Where is Sheree when you need her?

    • Allie

      I thought that was just my imagination! I was like wait a minute did she just say what I thought she said…

      • realadulttalk

        I stopped…rewound and listened about 3 more times.

      • realadulttalk

        I stopped…rewound and listened about 3 more times.

  • NikkitaMichelle

    Kenya’s current behavior proves that she is not marriage material. How could she be, she obviously doesn’t respect anyone else’s marriage. I applaud Phaedra for keeping her cool. But by the time Kenya came over there asking which two of her friends would she offer up to her husband, Mrs. Phaedra had had enough.

    • kierah

      “How could she be (marriage material) – she obviously doesn’t respect anyone else’s marriage”
      THANK YOU in several languages!

    • realadulttalk

      I applaud Phaedra–I’d have blacked out and drowned Kenya long before that point.

  • SunshineBlossom

    Kenya is doing way too much… I think they wanted her to make a fool of herself, that’s why they didn’t say anything. Poor little ken ken… *moment of silence for thirstbuckets*

  • Kellz

    Say what ya’ll want but Nene is funny as hell. She had me cracking up. Phaedra’s behind in that fisherman’s net cover up made me want to puke

    • pretty1908

      Like seriously…you are a mother and an attorney….why degrade yourself like that …where was your prayer cloth then …im all for spicing it up but why go that far

      • Miss_Understood

        I think she was tryna make up for Kenya upstaging her with her OWN husband. I woulda just chose to choke the s h i t out of Kenya and Apollo with that net-but I veer on the crazy side…lol

  • Reese

    Although, I never watch this show. I had a study group last night and the other girls watch this show religiously so I was a good hostess and turned the TV to it. Kenya was way out of line, I’ll be d*mned if a woman ask my husband some of the things Kenya asked or attempted to ask Apollo. And like someone else said if Walter really cared, he would have put her arse in check.

    • Laine

      Studygroup?? I bet you guys didn’t study a whole lot !

      • Reese

        At that point we were winding down, we had been working since about 1 o’ clock that evening. But yes, we did actually learn a lot.

  • Kitsy

    Real talk y’all – either Kenya is one hell of an actress or she has a serious mental health problem that requires medication. I don’t think Walter was just kidding when he was asking her if she took her meds while she was throwing a tantrum over no hot tub in the room.

    Speaking of hot tubs, I happen to agree 100% with Phaedra. When she mentioned bleach I nearly died because a while back my ex and I went on vacation and had a hot tub in it. I refused to get in until we went to a local store and cleaned it with bleach and rinsed it multiple times. I wasn’t into it at all – I only got in because he specifically requested a room with one and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But I made sure we cleaned it out first.

    • Kitsy

      *and had a hotel room with a hot tub in it.

  • UmOk

    I was embarrassed for kenya. You cant force someone to marry you by continually bringing it up. My Gawd!!! The thirst!! And Phaedra should have beat her dehydrated arse for pushing up on her man. She crossed the line big time. Overall, I really liked the couples on the trip. It was cute….minus walter who looked like he was just down to kick it for the trip.

  • princess courtenay

    if walter really cared he woulda snatched her up ike turner style!! tryna make him jealous? please!! if a man wanted you, all the antics wouldnt be necessary.

    • SunshineBlossom

      DEAD @ Ike Turner reference!!!! Makes me think about that time on Martin when him and Gina dressed up as Ike and Tina and Martin pulled out that big A** platform shoe!!!

    • JaneDoe

      Walter was on the radio this morning here in the “A” stating she called him and arranged the whole boyfriend/girlfriend fiasco. Bravo offered him 500K to wife her.. He did it for his 15 mins and he confessed to it.. Kenya is an old used up hagg not even if a man was getting paid would he wife her.. Damn shame. The jigg is up crazy lady

      • UmOk

        Ok that makes more sense cause he acts like he dont care about nothing where she is concerned. Its a shame. I use to look at Kenya and see beauty. Now all I see is basic,insecure ratchetness

      • Laine

        So how much of this show is scripted and staged…? I don’t get it.. I thought there were some real stuff happening to these people….???

  • Na Na

    Last night I really enjoyed that episode! It was good reality tv. But omg if I didn’t feel so shamed for Kenya! Girl please go get you some business. And you better keep them paws off cuz Ms. Phaedra don’t play!

    • JaneDoe

      Phaedra is a good one bc I would have checked them both on that pool scene.. Kenya was clearly flirting with a married man in the presence of his wife.. Man her weave would have been sopping up all that water pool side messing with mines.

      • SunshineBlossom

        I know that’s right!!! And my question is why the hell didn’t Apollo check her himself? A decent man would have just rejected her right there and took his wife’s hand instead.

        • Miss_Understood

          EXACTLY! Now that we know her relationship with Walter is a sham I wonder if Apollo really did do something with this dehydrated thirst bucket!

          • SunshineBlossom

            If I was Phaedra I would have thrown her into a deep pool with no water.

  • So, last night was only the second episode I’ve caught of the season, but it’s clear that Kenya is crazy as hell, Phaedra (whom is actually my fav) is truly a sweet Southern Belle- and DO NOT mess with her man! I also think Todd and Kandi look great together! Happy that NeNe and Gregg are trying to get that old thing back! I was rolling when Kenya revved up the boat and Peter ended up laying down on top of Cynthia to keep her dress down! I’m going to have to stay caught up now, because I want to see Phaedra read Kenya’s tail like a book on that next episode!!

  • Stacy L

    I loved the scenes w/ Kandi and Todd.. they are so cute together!!! I hope they make it. and as for Kenya: girlaaaa, PLZ have several seats

    • Ms_Mara

      They do make a cute couple. I loved how he surprised her when he just popped up at the airport like that.

  • pretty1908

    And again… you can’t sum this up on 1 page…anyway ! I found last night’s episode to be hilarious. Kenya needs jesus and a good shrink. Phaedra still proves to be tacky and country beyond reprieve. Nene had me in tears with those dances and face gestures, but I am glad to see her and Greg continuing their relationship. Kandi disappointed me gravely with her outre 39.99 a pack wet and wavey hair, and I still can’t fathom why you would move a man into your house with your female child but eh…..Cynthia , I am glad to see you and peter enjoying each other. Porscha….ignore Kenya and don’t get caught up the haggard drama.

    • How you gonna be GRAVELY disappointed about someone’s Korean store weave? LMAO! funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

      • pretty1908

        LOL sorry 🙁