Man Up! Signs Your Man Might Be a Bit of a Punk

68 comments
December 8, 2012 ‐ By Brooke Dean

WENN

When Rob Kardashian took to Twitter to rant about how his now ex-girlfriend Rita Ora cheated on him with 20 dudes, my first reactions weren’t, “Rob, oh you poor baby” or “That Slore!” No. My first thought was, “Dude, get a grip!” It’s funny how most of the comments I read on social media sites that covered this “story” seemed to echo my same sentiments – that Rob was pretty much acting like a sissy who needs to stay off of Twitter and get over it. He did have some sympathizers but for the most part, folks thought he was acting like a little bit of a “girl.”

Sure, anyone who airs their dirty laundry on a social media site may be considered unstable, overly emotional or plain crazy – but women seem to get more of a pass with this type of behavior than men do. There are certain traits that can be considered gender specific, and a man scorned on a Twitter tirade is not considered to be masculine by any stretch of the imagination. Some women even blamed Rob for being cheated on, saying if he were more of a man, she might not have strayed. It’s not right, and it can be said it’s a double-standard, but sometimes we just don’t expect a man to be this “emotional.” Most women, whether they admit it or not, desire an Alpha male, and they’re are not always easy to spot at first glance. If you’re unsure if you’re dating a man or a mouse, look out for these signs that he just might be a punk.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Meyaka

    Well here you have it ladies,a live demonstration of punkery. :)

  • Staci B

    Rob needs to get a grip. He’s been around women too long. You got dumped boo! Get over it in your own space

  • Roxanne Velez-Jackson

    YES going through this with my EX. About 4 months ago, my boyfriend moved out of his family home and into my house. He then stated claiming his ex-abusing him. It had been over 3 years since he left/had any contact with his ‘abuser’. My roommate has since moved out because she couldn’t handle his “episodes” which included him getting drunk every night, physically attacking members of my family and his mother’s enabling of the mama’s boy behavior. Thought the time we were together, he was emotionally manipulative towards me; He had these random “attacks” where he will literally fake seizure-like convulsions during any type of confrontation, tear jerk, “faint”, threatened suicide. During one of his fits, he tried to stab my brother because he had had enough of the constant tantrums and pity parties and told him that he needs to cut the s**** and he went nuts and tried to stab him. Whenever I would bring anything up he would have an “attack” and holler things like “you don’t know what I been through”. Earlier this week at a party, I was under the impression that he had calmed down. Once again, he was accusing me of not caring about him to anyone who would listen and goes on with his famous line “you don’t know what I been through”. I took him aside into a room and this goes on for well over 2 hours of him screaming, crying, grabbing on to my legs, threatening suicide, crouching around on the floor etc. all this time he knows that everyone is in the lobby and can hear everything that is going on. He had been doing this daily for months, his mother isn’t doing anything but enabling by sitting by her bed, massaging him and supplying him with the liquor he says he needs to “numb the pain”. I understand that people deal with things differently but I find Rob to be emotional and internalizing. Whether he cheated or not, I can’t imagine the HELL that woman’s been through.

    • Roxanne Velez-Jackson

      Men who exhibit female emotions know there will be strong reactions because “men don’t ever cry.” yea it is a manipulation tactic

      • Kaori

        What the heck are ‘female emotions’?

    • Kaori

      Should Rob not be emotional?

  • Guest

    About 4 months ago, my boyfriend moved out of his family home and into my house. He then stated claiming his ex-abusing him. It had been over 3 years since he left/had any contact with his ‘abuser’. My roommate has since moved out because she couldn’t handle his “episodes” which included him getting drunk every night, physically attacking members of my
    family and his mother’s enabling of the mama’s boy behavior. Throught the time
    we were together, he was emotionally abusive towards me ; he had these random
    “attacks” where he will literally fake seizure like convulsions during any confrontation , tear jerk, “faint”, threatened suicide. During one of his fits, he tried to stab my brother because he had had enough of the constant tantrums and pity parties and told him that he needs to cut the s**** and he went nuts and tried to stab him. Whenever I would bring anything up he would have an “attack” and holler things like “you don’t know what I been through”. Earlier this week at a party, I was under the impression that he had calmed down. Once again, he was accusing me of not caring about him to anyone who would listen and goes on with his famous line “you don’t know what I been through”. I took him aside into a room and this goes on for well over 2 hours of him screaming, crying, grabbing on to my legs, threatening suicide, crouching around on the floor etc. all this time he knows that everyone is in the lobby and can hear everything that is going on. He had been doing this daily for months, his mother isn’t doing anything but enabling by sitting by her bed, massaging him and supplying him with the liquor he says he needs to “numb the pain”. I understand that people deal with things differently but I find Rob to be emotional and internalizing. Whether he cheated or not, I can’t imagine the HELL that woman’s been through.

  • Roxanne

    The above types of punk behavior go hand-in-hand with being a mama’s boy. This is a living grown man who cannot make decisions for himself, is controlled by his mother and 3 sisters; needing their approval no matter right or wrong. He cannot live his life without these women directing him. Kim will do anything to keep other women at bay, because she is jealous and insecure. She lectured him about “dating a pretty Armenian girl instead.” Ha, she’s the last person on this earth who should be against interracial relationships. God forbid she gains a famous sister in law who actually has talent. Anyway, let’s also remember this is a Kardashian. He cheated once before and is now lecturing about the same behavior. What goes around comes around!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

    uhhhh…this article is dumb and the author needs to stop internalizing sexism;characteristics are not gender-specific. duh-uhhh.

    • Kaori

      A lot of the readers and writers here internalize sexism.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

        exactly. check out the feminist blog What About Our Daughters. i recently discovered it.

        • Kaori

          I read that blog, and a few other feminist blogs.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

            great! what other feminist blogs do you read?

            • Miyako

              This woman isn’t a Feminist, I don’t believe, but she writes very well – Gradient Lair

              Jezebel (Some people hate that blog)

              Feministing

              Crunk Feminist Collective

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

                thanks!

                • Miyako

                  You’re welcome.

              • Trudy

                Hi. Gradient Lair is my blog, and thanks for the recommendation. As for my ideological standpoint, I identify as a Womanist, one who advocates intersectional feminism. Check Alice Walker and Kimberlé Crenshaw as a starting place on what I mean by this if you are unclear. So in essence, yes, I am a feminist and I write from that ideological standpoint on Gradient Lair, though it doesn’t mean that I won’t also critique amidst feminism as a subject.

                As for this actual blog post, it’s horrendous, and I genuinely do not understand why people still have such rigid and patriarchal concepts of gender and behavior, and deny that it is in fact gendered socialization and cultural norms as to why people associate the behaviors that they do by gender; people swear it is “natural” but I can assure you that patriarchy and sexism are man-made.

                • Miyako

                  Enough said.

  • Guest

    uhhhh…this article is dumb and the author needs to stop internalizing sexism;characteristis are not gender-specific. duh-uhhh.

  • Kaori

    I don’t understand why people make the behaviors listed a gendered thing.

  • IllyPhilly

    SO this sounds like an article that will make ladies with men lose them the they’ll be back to read the many articles about how find a man.

  • Stylnista

    My biggest turnoff would be a gossiping man. It’s true that some women gossip all the time & could do better in that area. But for me there’s something about a male running his mouth (as my mom would say), that takes away from his masculinity. On the other hand, my man can vent all he wants, & cry if he needs. If he is a man about it, he will eventually come to a solution not go around gossiping & complaining.

    • IllyPhilly

      Men invented gossiping.

    • Kaori

      If a man gossiping ‘takes away from his masculinity’, does that mean a woman who gossips is adding to her femininity?

      • Stylnista

        You might want to re-read the post. I did not generalize. I stated “for me” it takes away from their masculinity.

        • Kaori

          No, there is no need for me to re-read the post. I understood the first time. My question, which you did not answer, is still valid. I’ll rephrase the question.

          If a man gossiping ‘takes away from his masculinity’ to you, does that mean that a woman who gossips is adding to her femininity, to you?

        • Yanni Ma

          This Kaori chick is a troll! She changed her name from a really long one and she always antagonizes people on this site! She just says angry stuff to trya and get people to respond.

          • Miyako

            That is not correct. What I say is what I mean. It is not to ‘get people to respond’. My comments probably offend most because most of the people who comment here are into groupthink.

  • littleoleme

    I just can’t with gossiping men! A man who gossips like a housewife is so unattractive. I’m not really here for gossiping females either, but that trait in a man turns me off.

    • Kaori

      Why did you say ‘gossiping men’, but ‘gossiping female’? Do you have a problem with women?

      • littleoleme

        Not at all. You are reading too much into it.

        • Kaori

          You did not answer why you made that distinction. And, no, I am not ‘reading too much into it’ considering that most people who I hear refer to women as ‘females’, but men as ‘men’ usually don’t have nice things to say about women. These people also rarely, if ever refer to boys and men as ‘males’.

          • littleoleme

            Lol. Simmer, simmer down dear. This might come as a surprise to you, but I don’t have to explain myself to you. And I won’t any further.

            • Kaori

              Dear, I wasn’t simmered up. I didn’t ask you to explain yourself. I just made note that you didn’t answer the original question. Thanks.

          • Sheena

            Kaori You’re such an idiot!

  • Say What?

    If you created the “perfect man” he’d end up being far too good for the majority of the women who’s want him because nobody is perfect, but so many can instantly see the problems in others while they are blind to their own.

  • Meyaka

    My friend boyfriend blows up her mine and our homeboy (gay) phone everytime we have a girl nights out its the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen in my life,he gets mad if she does anything with anyone other than him or if she spends a little time with us,he is possessive as hell,stalkerish,this fool went through her phone,got all of our numbers and if he can’t reach her he won’t hesitate to call us or text us back to back. One time he called her 30 times I counted,I know this doesn’t have nada to do with the topic at hand but guys I’m considering keeping my distance because he strikes me as the murder suicide kind of person and I tried talking to her but you already know how much some people just want to say they have a man… I don’t know

    • Drew Smith

      Did you even try to spell or punctuate correctly? At all? Like, even a little bit? SMH.

      • Meyaka

        Oh my God!!!!!! Drew lmaoooooooooo, girl are you still salty about that fabulous reading you received last time you messed with me? You gays are so sensitive lmao

        • Drew Smith

          So, about that spelling and punctuation…

          • Meyaka

            Je t’emmerde.

            • Drew Smith

              Tu es libre as faire quois tu aimes, mais tu es aussi ignorant. D’accord? :-) For English being your sixth language, you’d do well to sit down, and shut up. Excuses are unacceptable here, Sunshine; educate yourself accordingly.

              • Meyaka

                I am way more educated than you, you are the one using the google translator …

                • Drew Smith

                  Or, I took french all throughout high school and college at the University of Maryland — College Park… *shrugs*

                  • Meyaka

                    You are a BOLD FACE LIAR, the construction of your sentence and your conjugation was wrong and a clear indicative of the fact that you do not a french speaker… You are so sad,but I’ll bite i speak fluently,read and write Greek,Italian,Arabic and Portuguese,what else do you have?

                    • Drew Smith

                      “You are not a french speaker…” <— EXACTLY!!! Which, is why you won't ever find me on a French (I believe it should be capitalized…) blog acting retarded. Do you see how that works? I'm barely conversational in French; hence, I DON'T GO WRITING ON FRENCH BLOGS! Get it together, Meyaka. And, I sincerely hope your name is made up. Like Uniqua, or something. And, I didn't take my picture off (per your other post). I'm not hard to find, Sunshine. Not at all. How do you want to do this? A while back you wrote that I was fat; you got no response. That's because your comment was stupid. I imagine the only way to get this rectified is to get a glimpse of each other. The recourse is a continuation of cyber-pinching and cyber-tripping. It's boring.

                  • Meyaka

                    The real sentence would be :
                    “Tu es libre de faire ce que tu veux, mais tu est quand meme ignorante. D’accord?” i know you use a translator because it translate words as they are without any sens behind it, i usually laugh you off but i want you to know that you are truly pathetic,you want to attack me for posting on a blog on my phone and committing grammatical errors, and then lie about speaking french, and i can’t help but notice that you took your picture off :), Les gens comme toi n’avance jamais dans la vie, sur ce oublie moi et bon vent, I’m done.

                    • Kaori

                      LOL.

                • Na Na

                  Ha Ha Ha @google translator!

        • Kaori

          Um, yea. I didn’t even read passed the first line because the grammar was so bad. Sorry :(

          • Meyaka

            English is my sixth language and I’m still learning it,unless someone can match that you can’t offend me,we good.

            • Kaori

              I wasn’t trying to offend you.

          • Dang

            In your attempt to criticize her grammar, you used the past tense of pass when you didn’t need to. See how easy it is to make a grammatical error. ; )

    • Anonymous

      The man you wrote about strikes me as the abusive obsessive kind. They start out nice in the beginning then they become mentally and physically abusive. It happened to my aunt. This man was obsessed with her and he made up a plan to take her out and he ended up driving far away with her and told her he was gonna kill her she had to roll out of the car and almost got run over.

      • Meyaka

        Thank you for replying,I tried to tell her that he seems psychotic and I get a bad feeling about him,she would agree with me and then still go home and get lovey dovey with him.

  • FromUR2UB

    I like a man who’ll do SOME of what I want him to do, because it’s nice when someone cares enough to want to please you. But, he has to have enough conviction about what he believes, that he’ll stand his ground for it. No one likes a soggy bowl of cereal. But, the problem with the alpha male types is that they usually prefer needy, dependent women. I guess that makes them feel manly.

  • Dee

    OMG, my ex was all of these. Smdh. But my husband is 150% alpha male lol! It’s fun 2 have him but the alpha’s can be so stubborn sometimes. But trust that a real man is better than a punk anyday!

  • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

    At first glance I
    was going to say do not consider anything the author say because male as well as
    female always have gossip matter of fact if a man don’t talk about things in his
    life good or bad that’s a sign of a troubled man and more that likely you will
    one day read about him or he will make the head line news in a negative way that
    being said a mentally healthy man will and should talk, he just want tell to
    much two thru ten are good advice.

    • Kaori

      But gossiping and talking about things in one’s life are not one and the same.

  • Kayla

    All this is true, but there are also the punks who overcompensate. They’re a little too hard, or too vulgar, too flashy–just too extra. The ones who are the loudest about everything, you may find them arguing back and forth on social media sites (usually with women) but will never really back anything up at least not with other men. Let’s not overlook them.

    • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

      Kayla we all have our problems that includes women to!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-Johnson/100003283301448 Jessica Johnson

    take away all 9 of these characteristics, and you have a perfect man….he does not exist. every man has his own quirks that he needs to work out, and at times will display either one of those behaviors. true friends and family will help him get back on track, and not just toss him to the side. truth be told though, i don’t like those characteristics in a woman either. but there is nothing wrong with bettering yourself one day at a time.

    • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

      Bravo! right on point Jessica you are a brave, wise and understanding women to make this comment and have no fear of a back lash from feminist. Over my long life I have seen countless women who were not perfect by no means criticize mocked then ran away their children father because he were not perfect then latter own they saw he had grown and happily remarried then they were sorry they didn’t allow their children father time to grow and remain in hers and her children life why because she though she should have a perfect man when she was far from being perfect herself.

  • Bebe

    I know this all too well, and it’s a damn shame.

    • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

      Again there have never been a perfect man and to your surprise there have never ever been a perfect women.

      • burnalready

        Burning bush, what are you the comment police? I mean we all have an opinion and we are entitled to it. So please stop and let people have theirs. You let your feelings be known so let everyone else without popping up with a reply to everything you don’t agree with.

        • http://theburningbush.disqus.com/ TheBurningBush

          OK I mean no harm your point is well taken!

      • Bebe

        Nobody said anything about being perfect, so let’s stay on the subject matter in the article, ok. I was only commenting on my experience with a mate who exhibited those.

No thanks