Ugh, Why Am I Only Getting Approached By Married Men?

December 7, 2012  |  


Source: Shutterstock

From Essence

Q: I am 32-years-old and I’ve just been dating here and there. I truly do want to be in a “real relationship”, however I don’t understand why I keep attracting guys who are not even divorced yet. They are “separated,” but to me, that means still married. This one guy, who is married, is trying so hard to talk to me. I told him so many times that I just want to be friends because he is still married. His daughter is my student, and when I see him he will call four times after that and ask to see me again. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be with him because he is married. I want to do what is right for me. How can I tell him we’re “just friends,” and how can I attract the right person for me? — Anonymous

See what celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake has to say about this woman on

*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.

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  • Machelle Kwan

    Married men often see women alone as a perfect victim for their schemes. They see you as desperate and think you are so lonely that you will just forget about your morals. Well I set a married bum straight a few months ago. He tried to run his game but I quickly caught on to it. I might be all alone, but i’m no homewrecker. I deserve everything a man has to offer just like anybody else.

  • CarlaKah

    The essence-link doesn’t work

    • bvictorian

      Sorry, it’s fixed now!

  • Pivyque

    Just to throw my 2 cents in – I don’t think her problem is attracting the right people. I think that it is paying attention to the right people. This married guy shouldn’t even be on her radar, even for friendship because he has admitted to wanting something more. The times they “see” each other could be better spent with a single guy.

  • ANTMilf

    I got hit on by married men before and they get mad because I reject them, as if I want to share a man with another woman or other females.

  • ANTMilf

    I got hit on by married men before and they get mad because I reject them, as if I want to share a man with another woman or other females.

  • I never understand why some women ask such dumb questions. Now really what woman in her right mind would consider a married man who wants to be romantically involved with her a friend? That is some of the dumbest shyt I’ve ever heard from a 32 year old woman.

    To further add to the stupidity, this man is the father of one of her students. Why in the hell would you even strike up a friendship? That’s unprofessional. Married/involved men approach women all the time. The only dummies who complain about it are the ones fooling themselves that they are going to be “friends” with someone elses husband until he gets a divorce. STUPID! There are plenty of unattached single men that aren’t the parent of one of her students for her to strike up a “friendship” with. Geez

  • Leila

    Why is she telling him “several times”? Say it once and cut the lines of communication. She shouldn’t even give him the chance to ask more than once. By continuing some kind of conversation, she’s leaving a door open. Sorry. I’m annoyed ny single women who whined about married men pursuing them. I shut it down real quick, tell them how I feel about men who disrespect the sanctity of marriage (unless you have divorce papers, you,re another woman’s man) and cross the street the next time they come my way. It’ s not rocket science. She’s wishy washy, and he picked up on it.

    • Kaori

      Men hardly ever take no for an answer from a woman.

      • So explain why she gave her phone number to him. How simple is it not to answer your phone when he calls? That just sounds easy to me.

        • Kaori

          Well, it would be quite difficult for me to explain her actions since they are not my own. Neither do I know the woman personally. I should have specified what my comment was in reference to, which was this line here, “She shouldn’t even give him the chance to ask more than once.”

      • Machelle Kwan

        I”m sure threatening to file a restraining order and report him to your cellphone carrier will make him take no for an answer. Nobody has the right to be up in your space if it’s not wanted. We all have the freedom to pick and choose who we want in our lives. And a married bum isn’t getting an ounce of my time. I deserve a hell of a lot more than being somebody’s side piece plaything. NO ma’am.

  • rzakia

    I believe in not dating married men just as I believe in not dating men who are otherwise committed. However, to me, that means not befriending them either. It sounds like this lady is tempting fate by even going on friendly dates with married men.

    • Thank you. She’s full of shyt is what she is. She can’t be that thirsty for friendship to befriend the married father of one her students.

    • Pivyque

      I have to agree with you there. He clearly wants something more. Why is she even entertaining him?

    • Machelle Kwan

      That’s true because the married bum I met kept talking about “being friends”. I told that loser that his wife was his friend, not me. And whatever he was going through wasn’t my problem. I”m my first priority. and I won’t play second to Anyone.


    I will not give married men a second glance……thats fire and brimstone right there!!