Ain’t No Way Around It: Crappy Things That Happen To All Single Girls Eventually

December 7, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin
"Black woman thinking PF"


Next time you’re cursing men, ignoring calls from your mom who will just ask why you’re not out on a date, and brushing off your shoulders while trying to stay positive after another humiliating and/or horrifying experience in the world of dating, just take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. These crappy things happen to just about every single woman at some point. Think we’re lying? Just check this list of stuff all the single ladies go through.

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  • EtTuQuoque

    The greatest trick whimen ever turned was to make the world believe men are heartless, and that they on the other hand possess one at all.

  • Elisha

    Hoooooowwww in thee hell does this list go w/ the title??? Twice I had to scroll up & check to make sure I was reading the. Correct article!

  • TiredOfBeingNice

    Wow…I have experienced several of these scenarios and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I’ve come to a simple conclusion: guys ain’t sh*t. The sooner you learn this, the better off you will be.

  • TiredOfBeingNice

    Wow…I have experienced several of these scenarios and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I’ve come to a simple conclusion: guys ain’t sh*t. The sooner you learn this, the better off you will be.

  • Well

    Men have to deal with all kinds of crap too…but we have to pay for the “”privilege”.

  • Phoolmee Wunce

    These are boundary issues more than men issues. Men can have so many issues they need to cancel their subscription but you don’t have to let them cross you.

  • Just remember you ultimately decide. If you know that whether he gets you is decided 100% on whether you find him worthy you will be ahead of the game. Men like women they have to pursue. Any woman they feel isn’t going to be a challenge to bed isn’t one that is going to hold his interest for long. No matter how nice or cute you think you are men won’t see any value in you if you don’t make it known that there are scores of men waiting to step in his place so he better step correct.

    So how do you do that? It starts from the very first moment you meet him. #1 Never ever let a man you just met have too much of your time. Whether you meet him in the line at the grocery store or at the club keep your interactions to 10 minutes or less period. #2 never give him your number. Let me repeat that, never give him your number. When he asks for yours flip it and let him know you will take his. That way he’s waiting to hear back from you. He’s the one who’s concerned and worried about whether you are ever going to call. #3 Keep him guessing to keep him interested. Be vague about what you’re doing and with whom. Don’t accept any date that isn’t planned at a minimum 2 days in advance and don’t agree to meet up every time he asks.

    All of this is to gauge his level of interest. A man less than fully interested in you will fall by the wayside and those are the ones you want to weed out. Men who are into you will: adjust his schedule to find time to spend with you. Will return your calls and texts in a reasonable time, will take an interest in getting to know who you are, who your people are, and what you’re into. If you are getting anything less than that from the man you are talking to its because he isn’t interested move on.

    • asdf

      Wow, you should write a book. Thanks for the great advice.

    • trm

      Sounds like ‘The Rules’ with the exception of not giving him your number. Good advice!

    • dolly

      Your advice is so right on target. So many of our young ladies are so anxious to find “Mr. Right” that they are willing to overlook all the faults, all the disrespect, or they fool themselves into thinking they can transform “Mr.No Good” into something he is just never gonna be. I personally think its more about having self respect, seeing your self worth, and not comprising your dignity and pride by allowing any man to treat you in any way that does not add to those qualities. At least thats what I’ve tried to teach both my daughters. And I don’t know how many times over the years I have told them “Mr. Right” is out there but if you settle for someone less than you deserve there won’t be any room in your life for him when he does come along. You won’t be available because your tied up with someone who doesn’t deserve you! My daughters are 20 and 22 now and I pray that if they never listened to any other advice I gave them, this stuck somehow. And my greatest wish for both of them is that they find a man like their father. He’s not perfect by any means, but when it comes to loving his family, providing for them and always showing me affection, love and respect, I could not ask for a better husband. He drives me crazy sometimes with some of the little annoying habits we all have, but that’s just petty things that are of no consequence. Even if he were not my husband, I could honestly say he is one of the best men I know.

      • That is good advice. I think the reason why women who have problems in relationships repeatedly do so is because they get it wrong in the beginning. They settle for men out the gate who were never fully interested in them. If they only pursued relationships with men who were 100% into them they would experience less relationship problems that occur as a result of a man who never really wanted to be there. You gotta screen, screen, screen and believe him the very first time he shows you that he doesn’t care.

  • L-Boogie


  • OSHH

    You just have to be all the wiser out here ladies…read a man’s actions for what they are, believe him when he shows you who he is to you through his actions etc
    Use discernment and trust your intuition.
    Ask direct questions i.e. about his intentions. sexual orientation, how many women he is currently sleeping with- all to gauge his reaction and if you feel like he is lying chances are he is.
    Be wise and be cautious, never being pressed or too vulnerable or available too early.
    Matter fact if you feeling vulnerable that is not the best time to deal dudes esp new ones that you don’t know.

  • L-Boogie


  • Trust and believe this is me right now. The amount of times I have been used, led astray and everything else in-between is a joke! I am going to give in my Nunnery Application soon…


    Women have it really hard….it sucks indeed!! Is surrogate the same as kept woman??

    • A surrogate gfbf, is basically someone just kept in the friendzone. Or a friend with benefits you do all or some of the things that couples do, but you’re just “friends” and will probably never get the gfbf title. Sometimes that person is just using you (especially if there’s sex and non friend related things involved), but sometimes that person generally wants to be good friends with you. I often view a “kept woman” as something they would view housewives as back in the 50s. lol

  • Women are dealing with so many sh*t,,,,,,,,, i don’t know.