All Men Really Are Dogs, What Matters Is The Pedigree
By Jada Gomez-Lacayo
I’m the proud owner of a 2-year-old cocker spaniel named Lola who lives up to her name’s pop culture references in every sense. I absolutely adore her, and judging from her wagging tail and happy little brown eyes when she sees me, I think she’s pretty crazy about me, too. My bond with my canine got me thinking about the way we view their two legged best friends — you know men– and though we tend to compare men to dogs when they’re at their worst, the truth is when they cheat or throw bands to make strippers dance, they’re not reflecting our four-legged friends at all.
I don’t think the “dirty old dog” connotation is quite as on point as it seems when we scream it after slamming a door, or playing Bey’s “Irreplaceable” as we delete his photos from Facebook. Dogs are busy little buggers, but they’re as loyal as they are mischievous, and their unconditional love is what makes them man’s best friend. Need a refresher on why all men really are dogs? Consider these 10 points:
Like dogs, men are loyal, protective, and a bit wayward
It’s like DMX says in his collabo with Aaliyah, “Every once in awhile I’ll break out the backyard to roam/ and get wreckless/ but I still know that home is home.” Lola loves to be free, but when it’s cold outside or she’s unsure about a bypassing dog who wants to sniff her butt, she clings to my side like a 5-year old clings to their mom on the first day of school. Like their canine brethren, men need to roam. They need to feel like they’re not tied to a post in the yard. If you’re looking for a guy who wants to be around you 24/7, expect some resistance back at the ranch. Just as it’s healthy for you to have a movie night, or a margarita or two, with your girls, it’s just as important for your guy to turn up with his friends every now and them. Let his crew come over for Sunday night football, and let him out so he can go to that Bachelor Party. But make sure you get some extra sweets when he comes through the door.
They Love to cuddle (But only when they want to…)
When Lola was first born and her breeder would send me pictures as she grew, I just knew I was getting a cuddle buddy. I assumed she would always want to curl up in my lap on the couch and watch movies, or sleep next to me in bed while I napped peacefully. From the day she arrived, it was clear that Lola was no one’s lap dog. She loves to give her version of a hug and kiss, and will curl up for some belly rubs, but she is not about that lap dog life. And the same is true for most guys. They love affection. Rub their back, give them kisses, and they are putty in your hands. But you’ve only got a short window for the lovey dovey. They will cuddle with you and hold you, but once that arms gets tired, they’re over it.
They’re absolutely helpless when sick
Most of the time Lola feels like my little sister more than a child like I assumed she’d be, but when she’s sick, she’s as helpless as a 4-year-old. When Lola is sick, I first have to figure out what caused it, and then how to keep her away from whatever caused her to throw up all over my couch in the first place. She’s usually just a mass of sickness, laid out with only enough gumption to resist whatever medicine she needs, unless I mask it in a treat. Although most guys hate to admit they’re even coming down with the sniffles, when the flu hits, they need their mom — or their woman. It’s not the time for “I told you so’s,” it’s time to play nurse. Feed them soup, cuddle up, and soothe them Claire Huxtable style. Just make sure they give you TLC when you’re under the weather.
They need attention
If you’re looking for a companion that needs minimal attention, then you’re probably not in the market for a dog or most men. Once Lola came into my life, I had to make room for her in my schedule. She needs to be walked and fed, needs a sitter when I go on vacation, and needs my attention every day. And to be honest, that’s fair. But if she doesn’t get enough, she’s very vocal about it. The same is true for the man in your life. Take the time out to be with him and only him. Listen and hear him. Find out about his day at work, what’s stressing him, what viral videos made him laugh. Considering they’re not as verbose as we are, they’re not likely to go on and on about coworker drama like your girlfriends might, so give them attention. It’ll mean the world.
They’re persistent and stubborn
Lola is a return to the scene of the crime kind of girl. And she has a thing for curlers. Whenever she visits my family, she goes on a hunt for my mom’s curlers. Once she eyes the bag, she’s on a one-dog mission to chew on some mesh. It drives me nuts, and there’s no stopping her. And sometimes I just want her to sit down. Guys are the definition of stubborn. They don’t ask for directions, they know how to set up the HD TV without any directions, and they’ve got to be right. Just look at their Twitter feeds. No solutions for this one, it’s just the way of the world like the elements Earth, Wind and Fire always say.