How Much Room Do Your Balls Really Need?! A Note To The Fellas, Close Your Legs In Small Spaces

December 5, 2012  |  

I don’t like to think of myself as a male basher. But I’ll be the first to argue that generally, men are just more selfish than women. Now, there are a lot of reasons for this. Women are just conditioned to be more caring and compassionate toward their fellow human being. Don’t believe me? We need look no further than public transportation and small spaces to see just how grimy the menfolk can be when it comes to hogging and not respecting the need for personal space. By now, you might have an inkling of what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the space, sometimes the entire width of another individual, men take up with their gaped open legs!

I first came in contact with the too much leg room phenomenon in church of all places. No matter, how small I made myself, how much I scooted over, how tightly I crossed my legs, I could not get away from the side of dude’s thigh. For whatever reason, he took my attempts to move as far away from him as possible, as license to spread his legs further and further apart, like he was about to bring a life into the world. Needless, to say I had completely checked out for whatever the sermon was about that day, instead I just wanted to know how big dude’s balls were that he needed to be cramping my style?! Unless he had elephantitis of the testicles it was not that deep. Be considerate and close your legs before I go to hell for kicking you in the shins right on this church pew.

But this is not a problem limited to houses of worship, no where are you more likely to run into a man who won’t close his legs than on public transportation. There have been times when I’ve literally had to get up because a man couldn’t keep it together. Now, that I think about it, maybe that’s a part of their master plan to crowd us out so much that we ultimately have to get up and give them the amount of room they wanted from the beginning.

The thing is, I’m on to their game. I know for a fact that men don’t need all that room. I’ve seen more than a few men elbow women, children and the elderly in an attempt to get a seat on the train, only to shimmy and squeeze themselves into a spot that clearly was not meant for them. On the rare instances when you catch two men sitting right next to each other, those legs are snatched tight in an attempt not to touch his fellow traveler. So why can’t the ladies get the same amount of respect?

Ladies, I know ya’ll feel me; but fellas could you please enlighten us, why do some of you pretend to need all of that leg room?

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  • A Guy

    It may not be him trying to take up space. I, as a man, wish I could comfortably sit with my knees together, but I think my hip and leg muscles are too tight. When I sit with my knees together, I have to strain my inner leg muscles to keep them together. If I relax, my knees fall open.

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  • Archy

    Airflow for scrotum/testicles + I find it very uncomfortable to have my knees close together. I do bring them closer together in confined spaces but I try to find somewhere where I can sit more comfy. It’s no fun having your scrotum against your thighs, nor is it healthy as it is meant to be ~2 degrees cooler.

  • As a guy I agree going spread eagle at 45 degrees is just unacceptable and has to be done intentionally especially if the guy has a slender build. As for the rest, it truly is about the amount of space in between for the privates. For me I have to keep my knees about 9 inches apart. Any closer and it becomes uncomfortable. I cross my legs at the ankle to keep them together and reduce space taken. Seating deign also plays a role. Seat pans that are flat or angled forward force mens legs apart. Seat pans angled back make it easier and more comfortable to bring the legs closer. Short seat pans also tend to force our legs apart due to the lack of under support. For the majority it isn’t done out of rudeness but due to physical needs.

  • kierah

    This mess aggravates the bejesus out of me! Most of men are only working with a Volkwagen and 2 flat tires and they act like they’ve got a Hummer limo between their legs. Move over already!

  • chanela

    “like he was about to bring a life into the world.”

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! the title should have been when dudes buss it wide open….

  • mdeborah827

    The other thing is the voluminously large person with the nerve to have a knapsack on their back thus taking up even MORE space on the train! Why, why I ask do they continue to do this?

  • thatonegirl

    This was greatly appreciated can’t stand when I literally have to sit in the fettle position while riding the subway. We need an open article to the ladies that feel like their purses need a seat in a crowded subway.

  • Say What?

    What’s even more annoying is the guys, usually the young ones, that will get on and instead of sitting next to each other, they occupy every other seat and then yell over people to communicate with one another. Ratchet!

  • Kaori

    The whole spread eagle leg thing is something I usually see Black boys and men do. I’ve sat next to non-Black men on public transportation and they would move over for me or adjust themselves. With Black men and boys, they don’t budge and don’t care if half of your body is in the aisle. I also don’t like when they sit with their legs open and then do open and closing motions with them. It is visually offensive.

    I have had to tell guys to close their legs when sitting next to me. I also once told a guy that I was not going to move over for him because he would take up too much space and have me squished up against the window. He sat down anyway and had to keep his legs in the aisle.

    If there are other seats available I’ll get up and move because I prefer not to have men sit next to me.

    • chanela

      omg @ the opening and closing. LMAOO

      interesting how women are telling MEN to close their legs. imagine if things were the other way around? 0_o

      • SunshineBlossom

        Girl they would be too busy trying to get in between our legs to even protest.

      • Kaori

        They would sit back and enjoy the view and presume the woman to be a ‘freak’.


    One of my biggest pet peeve is riding the trains with a bunch of inconsiderate commuters. NYC and considerate does not go together. I go to Penn Station twice per day and its literally a zoo of people. Yet I heard white folks will call other race animals. Check Penn @ rush hour for white animals!!!!

    • LaLa Fisher

      I just started my commute through Penn and these white folks will trample you, shove out the the way, beat you up with their bags, and then have the nerve to get upset when the train in crowded and you dare say excuse me to get to a seat……But we’re the animals!!!

      • TRUTH IS

        Who you telling?!?….I just smdh in disgust at them…it is not serious!! It’s a stress zone!! UGH

  • ElvisWasAHero2Most

    I ride the WMATA (DC metro system, 2nd most used in the country fyi) everyday and there are times when I sit in one of the 2 seats that are joined together. When I do sit there, and I see the train is about to pick up a bunch of passengers, I really do bring my legs closer together in consideration of other passengers. Or at least the closest I can bring them and still maintain a slight degree of comfort. Despite my adjustment, seldom do I have someone sitting next to me… and that bothers me. It makes me think, oh man, do I smell? Am I giving off the appearance of a seat hog? I don’t know, but it beats standing.

    • Nia

      I speak for all commuting women when I say thank you for the consideration.But most men are not like you.If a man if sitting next to the last seat available,most times I will stand up.Mind you I’m young and live in the ‘hood’ so the men and young men here think they are kings and every women on earth is single,lonely and desperately desiring the touch of THEIR thighs as I sit awkwardly because they leave me no space to sit…..

      • Kaori

        Hahaha! Yes, I think for most women we will avoid sitting next to a man to avoid physical contact. Guys have a tendency to sexualize everything between them and a woman

  • Nikki

    I just tell them, “Hey, I’ve got wide hips and I highly doubt your balls need that much air…”

  • Cleo

    Yess, I always dread when guys ask if. They can sit next to me on the charter bus, I know I will have no room due to them sitting with their legs all open

  • Garrick

    Good stuff, and funny!

  • Kitsy

    Yep. As a fellow NYC subway commuter, I know this all too well. It’s despicable behavior. I’ve tried scooting away and had them just spread wider; I’ve also tried giving them a little nudge hoping they get the hint to close their legs a little and I get nothing but attitude back. I’ve just come to the conclusion that chivalry is dead and that there are very few gentlemen left. I’ve seen hugely pregnant women stand over able-bodied young men, who will either pretend not to see her or boldly look her in the face like “so what”, and ultimately, its another woman who offers her a seat. smh