How Much Room Do Your Balls Really Need?! A Note To The Fellas, Close Your Legs In Small Spaces

December 5, 2012  |  

I don’t like to think of myself as a male basher. But I’ll be the first to argue that generally, men are just more selfish than women. Now, there are a lot of reasons for this. Women are just conditioned to be more caring and compassionate toward their fellow human being. Don’t believe me? We need look no further than public transportation and small spaces to see just how grimy the menfolk can be when it comes to hogging and not respecting the need for personal space. By now, you might have an inkling of what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the space, sometimes the entire width of another individual, men take up with their gaped open legs!

I first came in contact with the too much leg room phenomenon in church of all places. No matter, how small I made myself, how much I scooted over, how tightly I crossed my legs, I could not get away from the side of dude’s thigh. For whatever reason, he took my attempts to move as far away from him as possible, as license to spread his legs further and further apart, like he was about to bring a life into the world. Needless, to say I had completely checked out for whatever the sermon was about that day, instead I just wanted to know how big dude’s balls were that he needed to be cramping my style?! Unless he had elephantitis of the testicles it was not that deep. Be considerate and close your legs before I go to hell for kicking you in the shins right on this church pew.

But this is not a problem limited to houses of worship, no where are you more likely to run into a man who won’t close his legs than on public transportation. There have been times when I’ve literally had to get up because a man couldn’t keep it together. Now, that I think about it, maybe that’s a part of their master plan to crowd us out so much that we ultimately have to get up and give them the amount of room they wanted from the beginning.

The thing is, I’m on to their game. I know for a fact that men don’t need all that room. I’ve seen more than a few men elbow women, children and the elderly in an attempt to get a seat on the train, only to shimmy and squeeze themselves into a spot that clearly was not meant for them. On the rare instances when you catch two men sitting right next to each other, those legs are snatched tight in an attempt not to touch his fellow traveler. So why can’t the ladies get the same amount of respect?

Ladies, I know ya’ll feel me; but fellas could you please enlighten us, why do some of you pretend to need all of that leg room?

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