A Dad’s Worst Nightmare: Wife Gives Daughter Up For Adoption Without Telling Him

December 4th, 2012 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers

Source: Dailymail.co.uk

This has got to be one of the most bizarre things to make media headlines in a long time. According to the Daily Mail,  a Texas man by the name of Terry Achane is facing what could be one of the biggest fights of his life after his estranged wife put their infant daughter up for adoption without his consent or knowledge. Now, the child’s adopted family is refusing to give her back, even after a judge has ordered them to.

The first thing that would come to the minds of many when hearing a story of this nature is how does something like this even happen? Well, it seems in 2010, Achane, 31, and his then-wife, Tira Bland, were going through a few martial problems, as most married couples do at some point or another in their relationship. Unfortunately, these problems came around the time that the couple learned they would be expecting their first child. According to Achane, Tira suggested aborting the child or putting her up for adoption because she feared that she would become a single mother; however, Terry encouraged her to keep the baby. A few months later, in February 2011, Terry had to take a job out of state, but anticipated returning to Texas as a new father.

A mere ten days after his departure, his wife gave birth prematurely and placed the newborn with an adoptive family with the assistance of the Adoptive Center of Choice. The child, whom Terry wished to name Teleah, was adopted by Jarred and Kristi Frei, a White Utah family with six children, desperately seeking to expand to seven in an effort to give their youngest child a closer sibling.

Of course when he learned of Tira’s actions, Terry was outraged and sought custody of his daughter.

“I was like, “Utah? Where is Utah?” I’d never been to Utah. She’s never been to Utah,” Achane shared with the Salt Lake City Tribune.

The Freis’ named the child Leah, but were made aware by the Adoptive Center of Choice that the child’s father was unaware of the adoption and would most likely contest it if he found out. Although, a judge has ruled that the Freis return the child to her biological father within 60 days, they are seeking an appeal claiming that they have spent a lot of money for adopting the child, around $25,000.

“This is a case of human trafficking.’Children are being bought and sold. It is one thing what [adoption agencies] have been doing with unmarried biological fathers. It is in a new area when they are trying to take a child away from a married father who wants to have his child,” Mr. Achane’s attorney told the Salt Lake City Tribune. “

Terry, who certainly does not wish to be involved in an extended legal battle, discussed how important it is that he be united with child immediately.

“If they prolong it, that is more time away from my daughter. There are precious moments I can’t get back. … It has been a year and a half now. There is no court order saying they have the right to my child. I just won the case. I want to get my daughter and raise my daughter.”

The Freis are prepared for a fight, however.

“Since that eventful day, we have, as a family, come to know that this dream was a righteous desire blessed to fruition by God, and that Leah would be that child – and yet, little did we know the challenges and trials that awaited us in finding and fighting for this little girl,” the family shared on their blog, which they have been utilizing to raise money for their court battle.

This is wrong on so many levels. I’m not sure if God would “give” them a baby at the expense of a grieving father who wants his child. Hopefully Terry will be united with his daughter soon.

What do you think of this? Are the Freis’ justified in their fight for Leah?

Jazmine Denise is a writer living in New York. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

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  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZFXJYQVBHSV2Q56GLCZ523SLVE mergatroid

    The adopting family are basing their claim to the child the child on the money they have spent. They adopted to give their yougest born a playmate. This sounds like some low-key slavery.

  • Gina

    Black women don’t just give up their children without a damn good reason!

  • Nakia

    They are kidnapping theses children in Utah.This is not the first case, there are many more father’s that this has happened to my son being one of them. Those people are crazy saying that it is gods will, no its not its your money will. They are targeting unwed mothers. If a father or even his family is willing to raise there child I don’t see why they should not have any rights.

  • Angela

    I have read many articles about this story and it is clear that the Father’s rights were violated. He is a man in the military trying to do something for our country and of all people who is working to protect our rights, his rights get violated. Even though the adoption went through because it was set on illegal premises means its null and void.

    Since they are treating this child like property, let’s apply this to an actual piece of property.

    Let’s say you and I are roommates and we purchased a television together. We sign off on the receipt that the television is half and half. One day, you come home and find that I sold the television to someone else through a vendor. The vendor thinks that it is my television and no one else has rights to it and they perform the sale get a percentage of it, I get some money from the sale and the buyers walk off with a television that for whatever reason they could not purchase at the store. But what about the roommate?

    The Bio mother of the child didn’t even get this man’s consent before she performed this “transaction”. Not only did the Bio mother assume a risk, the adoptive parents assumed the risk as well. To keep it all the way real, their lawyer probably performed a risk assessment and said that more likely than not, given the percentage of single black mothers, that it was more than likely that the father was not involved in the child’s life and to go through with the adoption. But they played themselves, not only is the man married to the woman, he is also an American soldier stationed somewhere else trying to do right by the U.S. while his rights are being violated. They did it, bonded with the child and now are hurting because the rights must be made right and now the child has to be returned.

    If I were them, during these 60 days, I would try to formulate a relationship with the father so that the child could at least visit them. Become play cousins, auntie and uncle. But instead, they want to drag him through the mud. The Frei’s need to be careful with their claims on their blog because if I was the man, I’d sue them for defamation of character. I know it’s not Iraq but if he is stationed on the East Coast, and you are in Utah, how is he supposed to show affection in person, I do not think you can just leave the base like that. Where is he supposed to send gifts if he doesn’t know where you live? How are we supposed to trust that he has not sent anything through the mother, obviously we know she’s a liar. It will be very easy to tell if the man left the wife with no money and no car.

  • Msjmw

    Give this man HIS CHILD!!!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    I am not supporting the adoptive parents. But giving back a child isn’t as simple as returning a sweater back to the store. Children are precious, and aren’t easy to give back. I win’t blame then if they became attached.

  • Ann

    This beautiful gorgeous child has to suffer behind this. How can the mother be that crazy to do something like that?

  • Legal eagle

    But I thought the only way you can legally put a child up for adoption without both parental consent was in the case of abandonment. This is clearly not the case here…something is legally fishy not with only the case but this story. I find it hard to believe. Are the reporting sources trustworthy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/12334you Gretel George

    WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID AND CRAZY.

    • Gigi33

      And so are black women.

  • B

    They are not justified in their fight however either he adoption agency or the child’s mother should pay them back the money they lost.

  • Gina

    She had the baby to make her husband happy, she didn’t want a child. Some of you should stop judging the mother so harshly, we don’t know what the father was like. He could’ve been abusive, a drug addict, alcoholic and so on for all the hell we know. I want the WHOLE story.

    • http://designpardeux.com Kahli

      We do know they he moved to South Carolina to take a drop as a drill instructor. I highly doubt the Army would have a drug addict and alcoholic, training members of the army. It stayed that father couldn’t find his wife, but later contacted the hospital and they told him wife went into premature labor but that they couldn’t legal dispose information on his daughter’s whereabouts. And then later he gets a call from his wife out the blue saying she gave the baby up for adoption. I believe she did this out of spite and that the family should give this man his daughter back.

      • Gina

        I don’t think she gave her baby up out of spite. Their are 3 stories here the mother, father, and adoptive parents who know more than you and I! He could’ve been abusive, (verbally or physically), cheater, gambler and so on. I want the WHOLE story not just the father’s POV.

        • http://designpardeux.com Kahli

          I should never type on my phone again because there were so many mistakes in my last post! I apologize lol. So if you are saying there are three stories why are you continuing to believe he may have been abusive and cheater without knowing as such. I’m making my statements bases on articles I’ve read. One article said that she put an old address on the form knowing that her husband no long lived there anymore. That to me sounds spiteful. The family knew he didn’t consent the agency knew he didn’t consent! If she didn’t want him to really know she wouldn’t have even called him to tell him what she did with their daughter. He wasn’t even given the chance to raise his daughter. So how is that fair withouy proof that he is unfit.

          • Gina

            I’m saying their could’ve possibly been something wrong with him to make her give her child up. Why are you continuing to believe that the father is so innocent in this without hearing the mother’s side?

            • http://designpardeux.com Kahli

              Because I don’t have any evidence in this article or any other article telling me that he abused, was an alcoholic, gambler, cheater. So until that evidence comes out I can’t make any judgments about what kind of man he is. All I can read is that he wants his daughter back. If that seems like I believe he is innocent oh well. A better question is why do you believe he is guilty? Is it that unlikely that his wife just gave up her baby without a good reason? It happens, there was a case about it a few years back but in that case the parents weren’t married. So if it comes out that he abused her then I’ll take back what I said but I don’t have that proof and neither do you. The wife has said a thing yet so until she does, this is what we have to look at.

      • pangie

        Guys, I created a facebook page called “give leah back”. Would you mind liking it and sharing it with your friends? Maybe if enough people hear about it the family will be convinced to give her back and stop this appealing nonsense.

  • SheBe

    Wait, did you all visit the blog! Wow! According to the family he left his wife pretty much destitute and has not tried to have any contact with the daughter. They have painted the story of this man being the bad guy and they have raised over $20000 of the $30000 that’s needed. This is sad on so many levels. They make no mention of the fact that they have a court order to return the child and that they knew that the child was being adopted unbeknownst to the father. What is going on in this world? Like previous posters said, Why hasn’t the family been legally charged with anything because they ignored a court order? Why isn’t the child in state custody until the father can get to the child? What won’t the family take the issue up with the agency? MN, keep us updated on this.

  • ngoziemereonye

    this is b**s**t! the family that adopted the child are wicked! they have already 6 kids and they won’t let a father have his one child! they knew what was going on about the adoption! the dumb mom, the agency and the adopted parents should face jail time while the ageny be closed down! SMH!

  • Amber

    The mom isn’t mentioned at all. What is she saying about this whole situation?

  • wow

    There’s three sides to this story, mum, dad and adoptive parents, and then there is the truth. What if the reason she gave up the child was because he used to beat her up? (not saying that was the case, but maybe she thought it was the safest option..) I don’t know and quite frankly nobody does to be honest.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      If he’s in the military like everyone says and he is being physically
      violent, one call to his commanding officer would have him in the brig
      before the sunset. Every military wife knows this. The military don’t
      play when it comes to domestic violence.

    • Gigi33

      Why in the heck are you bringing up domestic violence without any proof? You are completely irresponsible!!! What an idiot. As you stated, you don’t know. So shut up. Geez!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Malaika-Angel/100000835938433 Malaika Angel

    “The child, whom Terry wished to name Teleah, was adopted by Jarred and
    Kristi Frei, a White Utah family with six children, desperately seeking
    to expand to seven in an effort to give their youngest child a closer
    sibling.”

    This family is trifling, ungodly and just WRONG. The statement above doesn’t smell right to me. So, they wanted this adoptive child to be a “closer sibling” to their youngest biological child? I’m not reading, “We wanted to give a child a loving, caring, home.”

    If they really want to do the “Godly” thing, they will return that baby to her daddy.

    • http://twitter.com/ElsieShane Elsie Shane

      Their youngest child is and adopted black boy not a natural born child. God had already smite Mother Frei’s womb and with statements she has made about her right to keep this child it is no wonder (God knew what he was doing keeping this woman from having any more children). She had a fierce case of baby hunger, as do most LDS women. They are raised to have it, their self worth is tired up with the number of babies they pop out. I have personal family experience to go by here to state that. The comments she has posted on her website make it clear that she is adopting these babies for her own self interest; to fulfill a personal need, not for the child’s interest.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michellezahrte Michelle Zahrte

    give the baby back what god do you worship? one who fits your needs?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Malaika-Angel/100000835938433 Malaika Angel

    This baby girl needs to go back to her daddy. The mother had NO RIGHT to give their child away without his consent. He was away at work trying to make a living, and that snake of a woman, underhandedly did the unthinkable. It would be different if they both agree to the adoption. I can’t see how an adoption agency would not seek the approval of the father. If the mother/wife indicated that a father was a “John Doe,” then the adoption agency needs to follow up on that claim. If the couple is married, there should be a marriage license.

    Shame on the wife, the agency, and the family who is withholding this man’s child.