MN Year In Review: Our 10 Best Open Letters

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December 4, 2012 ‐ By

In MN’s Year In Review, we’re counting down our top stories as well as the biggest moments in television, music, movies, and news.

Madame Noire is good for writing an open letter to someone or some “someones” to try to correct what we see as suspect behavior, express admiration, or spread a little positivity to the noirettes holding it down. We did plenty of all of that in 2012. Here are the best, funniest, and most honest open letters we published this year (in no particular order).

1. AN OPEN LETTER TO MARY J. BLIGE RE: HER BUFFOONISH BURGER KING COMMERCIAL

Dear Mary J.,

Gurl, you know we love you. Like for real. We love your triumph. We love your music. We love your passion. But we have no love whatsoever for the recent debacle you decided to lend your image and vocals to. Mary, sometimes ignorance really is bliss; because up until a few hours ago, I had nothing but warm fuzzy feelings for you…Read more.

2. AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SINGLE SISTAS: BEING SINGLE IS NOT A CURSE, IT’S A GIFT

Dear Single Sistahs,

I am writing this letter to my Single Sistas who desperately desire a relationship, to those whose biological clocks are ticking, to those who are at the end of a relationship, to those who feel as though they will always be a bridesmaid and never a bride, to those who are currently playing the dating game, on a hiatus from it or have simply retired from it, to those who are moving out and moving on, to those who fear being alone, to those who are settling for less, to those who are divorced and refuse to open their hearts, and finally to those who have lost a love, and feel as though they can never love again…Read more.

3. AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ALMIGHTY GOATEE

Dear Goatee,

I’ve been clocking your style for a while now. It started with a subconscious glance, a double look and finally I allowed myself to drink you in completely. I’ve come to the conclusion that you are beautiful…Read more.

 4. An Open Letter To All The “Playas” And Man Wh**es: You’ve Had Your Share Of Women, But Wait ‘Til You Meet Karma

To All of the heartbreakers out there,

I’ve always wondered how some of you can be so cold. How you can have a wife here, a mistress there, and 30 side chicks spread everywhere, yet tell someone that you only want to be with them. Does sleep come easy knowing that your promiscuous ways and playboy antics crush hearts and bruise self-esteem, causing pain and bitterness for women who love you more than you love yourselves?…Read more.

5. An Open Letter To My Single Parent Sistahs: Be An Example To Your Child

Dear Single Sistahs,

I am writing this letter to all of you who are singly mothers by choice, by force, by divorce, or by other circumstances. I am writing this letter to all of my Single Parent Sistahs to encourage you to be the best mother and parent you can be to your child or children. I’m writing this letter to encourage you to be your child’s parent, particularly be your child’s mother because as the first woman in your child’s life, you set the tone for how he, she or they will view, treat and react towards women. You set the tone for how your child will view women because you are the first example of a woman he/she will see and know…Read more.

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  • hollyw

    These were all goodies, but my fav was really the men who sit on subways with their legs open one; hilaaarious! On par with #7 (spitting men) b/c chivalry is so DEAD in this city!! Psssh, talk about women, it’s men who need to keep their legs and mouths closed…

  • IllyPhilly

    I still have never seen that MJB BK commercial. Was it that bad?

    • http://twitter.com/Nerdstradamas Kendra

      It was more embarrassing than anything. And very cheesy. The fact that the potential racial stereotype was overlook just makes the whole deal a bit uncomfortable. But I wouldn’t put it in the coon/buffoon category.

  • sabrina

    Number 7 was my all time favorite. I still nod my head in fervent agreement when I simply see the title!!! Lol!