How I Came To Accept That All Men Are Dogs

November 30, 2012  |  

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So I’m talking to this guy and he’s in my ear, going on about “hey, you’re so beautiful” and “I really like you” and “Why are you laughing? I’m serious.”

Because I don’t believe you.  You need more people.

I try not to think all men are dogs but deep down inside, I do think all men are dogs. Right now, I’m trying to decide if I should work on changing that perception or if I should just accept it as truth?

I know that is a big statement.  Some may think it is ugly and self-defeatist. Some don’t even want to read anymore and have already gone to the comment section to express your contempt for a selfish writer – and all her grammatical errors. But this is the raw, uncut truth. And this is how I feel.

To clarify, when I say all men are dogs, I mean I don’t trust anything they say or do. As far as I am concerned, men lie. They also cheat and steal too. Some of them are cowards and some of them are sick abusers, who get off on the emotional manipulation and exploitation of women. The statistics in regards to sexual assault as well as spousal abuse and murder back that claim up. And if you are not careful, a man can drive you crazy.

Simply put, they certainly don’t deserve the platform we put – or once ever put – them on. Not enough to write books about them, seek out advice on how to get them, fight over and get all emotionally distraught about them. Generally speaking, men kind of suck and when you start to think about it, why do we even care about them at all?

Yes, I know, perhaps it is me that is in need of changing?  I mean, if all men are dogs than what does that make you? Well, I like to think of myself as a realist. If I could clock the amount of time I’ve spent over the years “fixing” myself, I could claim it on my taxes as a full time job. I question myself and my choices daily. Evaluating and reevaluating myself, trying to find out exactly that one particular magic flaw about me that I could fix and make my relationships with men a lot easier. But even after all that work, all those changes you’ve gone through, it still don’t work. Men still act doggish. So then I began to think:  Maybe it’s not just me; maybe it’s them too.

Okay, so this is just the jaded opinion of one woman.  Everybody doesn’t have the same experience. That’s true. But it is not just my various situations, which I’ve have drawn my conclusion from. I’m talking about my mother, my grandmother, girlfriends, girl cousins, aunties and even perfect strangers. I have heard of some really awful tales of men doing some truly awful things to women. And there does seem to be a general consensus that on average, “Men ain’t –ish.”  I mean, if it was just the experiences of others, I might be willing to brush it off, but we all can’t be wrong?

I tell myself not to feel these things. Think of the men in my own family, like my brothers, uncles and dad? They are not bad guys. True, but they also have their own stuff with them too.  It is not just a matter of if they are good guys but also acknowledging that nobody is perfect – not even men. And since men are not perfect beings, then damn it, why would I stress myself about them?

I truly hope I am not coming off as bitter and mean but I don’t care about what men think or what they want or what they like. I don’t care what they do anymore.  What has really caring what they thought got me before? Not much but hurt feelings and bruised egos. I’m over feeling that way. And I’m so over questioning myself. I’m over changing and rearranging. I’m just going to do what I think will make me happy.

Does that mean I have giving up on men? Heck No! I love men – despite all of their doggish ways. I love the way they look, I love the way they smell and I especially love the way they feel. It just means that I have no expectations. And as such, I am not taking anything they say seriously.  And because I don’t take it serious, I’m not taking it personally. It’s not me, it’s them.

Who knows? Maybe this is just a bitter woman phase. Maybe I’ll recognize the error of my ways and I’ll feel differently in future. Maybe some good dude will come along and make me change my mind. Heck it could be that dude, who was spitting game at me. If it is, I’m not going to just take his word for it. For all I know, he could be telling me anything. He – and anybody else – is going to have to show me more than that to make me a believer.

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